On the Alteration of Species
by olafpriol
Summary: The strawhats are suprised find themselves in the spotlight of a rather unusual show, but is the magic act they are involved in as innocent as it seems? A little SaNa, but just a good old One Piece romp in general.
1. A little deviation

My second fanfiction! This time I'm updating one chapter at a time, just because that seems to work with my schedule better. Thankyou to ALL the people who commented on my previous story, it's really very much appreciated, and even if you don't review (which you should, darn you! -_shakes fist_-) thankyou for reading. Now review this or I'll hunt you down and kill you in a highly imaginative and gruesome fashion.

One Piece does not belong to me no matter how much I wish it did. Rated T for some violence later on. Some SanjixNami and possibly some ZoLu depending on how you read it XD. This story actually precedes 'Reflections', taking place before the Water Seven arc.

* * *

It is a common aspect of daydreaming to find yourself wandering the realms of your imagination in a body that is not your own. 

How often have you gazed out of a window at the untouchable blue of the skies to find yourself soaring amongst the clouds as a bird? Or, on looking into the deep azure of a river or lake, wondering what it must be like to breathe water, to hide amid the murky viridian caresses of the weeds? As humans we can but guess as to the nature of the advantages and dangers that other organisms are blessed and cursed with, but, on occasion, we must all admit to envy and curiosity as to the lives they lead. You may even have partaken in the pastime of debating with friends as to what kind of animal you would like to be, or what animal you would be most likely to turn into; the two often being quite different in their outcomes. In terms of choosing, there is a lot to consider. Some, for example, would covet the benefits of speed over the advantages of strength, others would prize wings more than claws, or the attractions of camouflage might outweigh those of beauty. These speculations are fun and harmless, encased as they are in that sadly closed off space of thought known as the impossible; a world of unachievable desires, beyond the reach of man, but then, what else is man made for, but to dream?

Know then, that only fools categorise any dream as 'impossible'.

* * *

As idiotic as he might have seemed to be, the captain of the Going Merry might have known this truth better than any. Why else would he have gathered about him some of the most unusual and unique individuals, and set out to that most wonderful and terrible sea known as the Grand Line, with a mere sixteen years beneath the Straw Hat that had earned him his infamous title? As it was the crew was a small one, considering the enormity of the tasks it had been faced with, and was surely yet to encounter; eight. A captain, a swordsman, a navigator, a marksman, a cook, a doctor, an archaeologist and, of course, their ship; the Going Merry. 

The gently smiling sheep's head seemed to nod in contentment, as the bow rose and fell smoothly with the crests and troughs of the waves that met it, a brisk Westerly wind chasing the craft along the waters. Having embarked out from the shores of Arabasta only a few weeks ago, the smell of sand and spice still lingered faintly in the canvas billowing overhead, but gradually it waned, taken up by the salt of the ocean. Since then they had flown through the sky to defeat a man who called himself 'God', escaped an invincible Navy fortress, and overcome the treacherous, deadly game of Davy Back, besides several other seemingly impossible tasks.

Well it is to base the fact that nothing is beyond achievement on the very existence of this crew.

The peak of the island they had just left was gradually sinking below the horizon behind them; the home (or, at any rate, previous home), of the memory-stealing seahorse that had dreamt of becoming a dragon.

Zoro snorted contemptuously, watching the landmass disappear from view.

"Idiot creature, trying to turn into something it's not…"

Sanji lounged against the mast and exhaled a thin trail of smoke around the cigarette held lightly between his teeth, the white air curling around the rigging before dispersing into the wind.

"Oh, I don't know, people can always change… though I might feel more sympathetic if it hadn't tried to steal all our memories, it's true."

A door slammed violently.

"Not to mention we got chased away by the very people we saved, bunch of ingrates!" Nami growled, appearing from her cabin, scowling so ferociously that even Sanji backed away nervously.

"Hmph, why such a bad mood? It's not like we've never been chased off before… GYA!"

The green-haired swordsman grimiced, clutching a swelling lump as Nami sent him a look that would have killed small mammals, her fist still above his head. For a moment she looked as if she was going to breathe down fire upon the unfortunate pirate, shaking as she was with ill-suppressed rage, but instead she turned sharply about on her heel, venting an expression of exasperation and contempt. Watching her stalk off to her precious tangerine grove Zoro rubbed his head, muttering grouchily.

"Feh. What's got that cat so worked up this time?"

A heavy foot was barely stopped in time by the back of his katana, as the cook gave him a cold glare through a slitted eye.

"That _lady_ just got all of her memories back, and, in case your thick skull is too dense to remember, some of them aren't all that pleasant. So you might at least _try_ to understand that she's bound to be a little sensitive at the moment, baka-marimo." He leant hard against the white-hilted sword, "and if I ever hear you called Miss Nami a 'cat' again, I'll fillet you with that over-sized fruit knife of yours."

The sounds of the two men fighting ricocheted about the ship in time-honoured fashion, as the rubber-bodied captain balanced Chopper on his head, the tiny reindeer's antlers supporting him as Luffy wobbled him back and forth like a plate spinning act.

"H-hey, Luffy, I'm getting kind of dizzy… the blood's going to my head…"

"No no! Keep going! Keep going! Just a bit longer!"

It was with unfortunate timing that the long-nosed sniper emerged from their sleeping quarters, as the creation he had been triumphantly waving above his head became entangled in Luffy's feet, and the trio fell to the ground in a knot of limbs. Extricating himself from the mess Usopp inspected the damage to his latest invention.

"Oi oi oi… can't you guys look where you're going? I just spent the last week perfecting this! Honestly…"

"Sorry. Hey, what is it? It looks cool! Let me see, let me see!"

The object was held away from Luffy's eager hands as Usopp looked at him admonishingly.

"Ah-ah-ah! This is a delicate piece of equipment; I can't just let someone like you… HEY!" His objections fell on deaf ears, as Luffy's stretchy arms plucked the item from his grasp. "Be careful with that!"

Alas, too late, as Luffy accidentally pressed a piece of the mechanism triggering a small, but not insubstantial explosion that consumed the unlucky pair in a cloud of thick, purple smoke, Chopper having dived down to the men's quarters in anticipation of such an event. Coughing out plumes of violet fog the two Nakama fell about in gusts of laughter, Usopp berating his captain through his fits of hilarity.

Robin observed the proceedings on the ship with an affectionate smile; she was so accustomed to the rituals now, so established were they in her heart, that she had found that she deeply loved simple moments such as this. Her smile widened as she watched the doctor trying to leaver the contraption off Luffy's hand, which he had managed to get stuck in the gears somehow. Sanji and Zoro were continuing their scrap onto the main-deck and along the rails, Nami emerging from the foliage of her trees to watch with a face of disapproving amusement as Usopp joined in helping Chopper, the pair struggling with the elastic quality of Luffy's fingers. Robin turned her head to face the sparkling surface of the water, hiding her chuckling face from her friends as she found her eyes glistening with tears of happiness. Her friends… to think she had found herself using that word… how strange to find herself in company she had never imagined to be possible in all of her lonely existence…

* * *

Then again, today would prove to be just yet another day of performing impossible deeds, as the crew were abruptly removed from their traditional habits by a sudden change in direction by the Going Merry. The hull jolted sharply to starboard as the ship turned as if snared by some invisible fishing line, causing all hands to fall to the deck, caught off guard by the impetus. Nami was quick to recover, taking command as only an expert navigator could. 

"Chopper! Zoro! The helm! Stand by; don't try to change our course before we know what's wrong, we don't want to damage the ship!"

The swordsman and the doctor hastily got to their feet and ran to their positions, Usopp already halfway up the rigging to the crow's nest to try and observe the cause of the Going Merry's behaviour. Luffy bounded up next to Nami, who was leaning over the side of the craft near the figure head. Sanji called out inquiringly as he helped Robin to her feet.

"Nami-san? Can you tell what's happening?"

Nami furrowed her brow, looking at the pattern of the waves.

"I think… No, that can't be right… I'm too close to tell… Luffy?" She turned to the excitable boy in the red jacket hopping about next to her, "can you get me up to the crow's nest?"

No second bidding was needed; the sensation of air whistling past her ears filled the orange-haired girl's senses momentarily, as the two shot up to meet Usopp beneath the black pirate flag atop of the mast, Luffy's outstretched arm carrying them skywards like a catapult. Using the unfortunate marksman as a crash-pad, Nami shaded her eyes from the sun as she got up, gazing out at the arrangement of the surf. Luffy laughed as he raised Usopp from the floor.

"Thanks for the soft landing!"

"Don't mention it…" came a dazed reply, as the long-nosed man shook his head to remove the stars from his vision, "anyway, I was just going to tell you, it looks like we're…"

"Stuck in a current."

Nami looked down at the flow of rapidly moving water that was wisking the ship along as easily as a stream moving a leaf. "One hell of a strong one too, I don't think we'll be able to pull out of it, not without harming the ship; she's so beaten up, she could break up…"

At the sound of this news Usopp clutched his hair with panic-ridden eyes starting out of his face.

"WHAT?! H-hey, Luffy! Maybe we should just let it carry us, w-we can't risk doing that to the ship, can we?! Don't be hasty!"

A cry came from below them.

"Oi, Nami! What should we do? Should we try and resume our course?" Zoro's voice resounded over the whining of the ropes; the canvas had been completely inverted, the craft moving so quickly that the air played the rigging as easily as a violin, the taught lines singing in the wind.

Nami turned to Luffy.

"You're the captain; the decision stands with you. Try to return to the route the log-pose is set to, or see where this leads us. Either way it's dangerous."

Usopp and Nami looked at their impulsive captain with trepidation. A moment's thought crossed the face of the boy underneath the straw hat before a resolute grin appeared.

"Well, we're looking for adventure aren't we? We've taken things in our stride as we've gone along, this should be just as fun! Go with the flow!" He laughed heartily.

Nami nodded and related the orders down to the crew, Usopp leaning against the mast with a sigh of relief. The navigator, however, looked on as the sails were taken up and the rudder loosed with anxiety. The safety of the ship was paramount, no doubt, but they were breaking the one golden rule of sailing on the Grand Line; they were abandoning the guidance of the log-pose. Glancing at the small sphere of glass on her wrist she could plainly see the prow of their ship heading some fifty degrees right of where it was pointing, the small metal needle twitching against the direction of their headlong rush. Her conscience twitched uneasily as well, as she tried to swallow the feeling of foreboding that was settling heavily within her throat.

* * *

They continued to fly along the surface of the sea in this fashion for some time, dashing forwards with the mysterious current recklessly, heedless of the wind as they ploughed further and further away from their previous course. As the ship sped along it was a breath-taking experience to the seven pirates to move as rapidly as if they were plummeting down the side of a cliff-face across the expanse of water, sending foam and surf flying from the prow as they raced along. 

There is a point of speed after which the clouds seem to pass you as easily as one might pass a house whilst riding in a train. It was a disorienting feeling to see the great white masses of condensation fly past above them, and the waves either side of the rushing strain that carried them seemed to stand as still as rock, as the Going Merry hurtled on and on, showing no signs of deceleration or alteration in it's mad progression. Holding his beloved hat to his head with one hand, the other gripping onto the figure-head he was seated upon, Luffy leaned full on into the headwind, laughing exuberantly at the prospect of a new escapade. Nami had returned to the outskirts of the orchard, the fluttering leaves desperately clinging to the branches against the wind that threatened to tear them from their purchase. Approaching from behind with a tray bearing a freshly made glass of fruit punch, Sanji cautiously ventured a question at the beautiful girl, still leaning over the rail looking quizzically at the water.

"Something troubling you, Nami-san?"

Knitting her eyebrows further she lifted the drink from the tray with a nod of thanks, not moving her eyes from the flow.

"Mm. I've never seen a current like this before, and I don't just mean the speed. Any current acts separately from the surrounding water, but just look;" she gestured at the path ahead of them with her hand, "it's as if a road has been placed in the sea. A moving road, almost like a river. You can actually _see_ where the edges of the tide meet the sea."

Sure enough, a distinct line could be determined, the path they were set on cutting a swath out of the gently rolling waves of the ocean surrounding them. Nami sighed, trying to put out the apprehension in her chest with a sip of the refreshing liquid, closing her eyes momentarily away from the velocity as she tried to understand the circumstances. Sanji viewed her fondly with gentle concern, but remained silent; he was completely baffled by the situation himself. He resumed scanning their path with a frown. Looking further ahead the blonde-haired chef viewed the oncoming layout of the route, pausing for a moment with an expression of slight confusion, which swiftly changed to shocked realisation as he dropped the polished tray.

Nami jumped considerably as he shouted. His voice rang out across the deck, rousing the crew from the slight stupor into which they had drifted back into alertness.

"Luffy! Get off the figurehead! Everyone, grab onto something, quick!"

Nami clapped a hand to her ear, looking at him disapprovingly for his vociferous outburst.

"Hey, Sanji-kun! What are you…?" but her complaint was cut short as the cook ducked and pulled her firmly but gently down into a sitting position, grabbing onto the rail either side of her and bracing her back against the wood as he covered her. He took several extremely indignant fists to the face.

"SANJI! Let go of me you…"

"Forgive me Nami-san, just trust me!"

Her protests ceased suddenly, as the ship violently swung about hard to the left, then the right, then back again. The ship veered crazily from side to side as the current flung them about eccentrically in a mad zigzagging pattern, the Strawhats clinging to the vessel tenaciously as it bucked and rolled in a wild dance across the ocean. Sanji held on stalwartly as Nami screamed, plastering herself against the timber and clinging onto him about his waist as the ground pitched up and down uncontrollably beneath them. A sickening creak rose up from beneath the deck, as the ship groaned with the strain of being swung about like a rag-doll in the mouth of some irate monster. Still crouching protectively over the cowering navigator, leaning down on his left knee and holding himself stable with his right foot, Sanji managed to crane his head upwards to look at the oncoming horizon, the blur of aquamarine either side of him sending his senses reeling with dizziness as the wind roared in his ears.

It seemed to erupt out of the skyline ahead of them, exploding into view as they hurtled forwards like bullet fired from a musket. He felt a bead of sweat trickle down from his temple as he reported the situation dryly.

"…Land-ho."

Everyone looked up.

The island loomed before them like some vast wall, terrifying in its immobility, completely consuming their vision for one hair-raising moment.

Collisions are rarely enjoyable events.

The world was one made of wood, air and sea. Chaos filled every aspect of their being. Gravity seemed to play no part in their existence, as all sense of place and purpose was ripped from about them. Nami was briefly aware of a whirl of black and yellow about her, something soft, something hard, and then all was darkness as she fell into the void of unconsciousness, falling through stars and shadows into the blissful silence of oblivion…


	2. Of trust and moustaches

The second chapter! Please R+R, it really helps to have the encouragment to keep writing, even if it is good practise overall. Any constructive criticism is warmly welcomed. One Piece is not my property in any way, shape, size or form.

* * *

Gradually becoming aware of an uncomfortable pressure against the lower half of his face, Zoro reluctantly opened his eyes to the searing rays of the midday sun. Shifting his direction of view he discovered the source of the pressure to be the sole of Luffy's sandal, which seemed to be determined to try to install itself up his left nostril. Removing the offending article he established that he was not situated on the ship, as he had been before the impact. Instead, he found himself sprawled on a sizeable piece of igneous rock, a large expanse of beach to either side with an unyielding cliff-face before him. His supposition that Luffy was unconscious was somewhat disproved by the sound of his raucous snores. He proceeded to wake the captain by shoving him off the rock, listening to the gratifying 'thwump' as Luffy's body sent up a plume of pale yellow sand. 

Nami unwillingly came to, roused by the sounds of Luffy and Zoro arguing a little way off. Her stomach still spinning, she took a moment to get used to the concept of no longer moving with all the haste of a rocket, clearing the sparks of light that danced in front of her eyes with some rapid blinking. Dimly aware of lying on something soft and warm, she carefully sat up and looked about her. She was seated a little way off from the mast, the broken railings in front of the orchard just above her showing the route she had taken during the crash. Though she could remember her back being against these same rails she couldn't remember breaking through them, and she ran a hand along her spine with a little confusion at the lack of pain.

Aware of a weight across her pelvis she looked down to see a black-clad arm. Swivelling her head to see behind her she saw Sanji, lying spark out, yellow hair splayed out messily and his tie severely askew. Lifting his arm off her hips she heaved a sigh, the reason of her back having been spared now evident, as she now vaguely recalled seeing the cook throwing himself around her during the chaos of the accident. Although she was grateful, Nami often wished he wasn't so damned altruistic sometimes; honestly, was he _trying_ to make her feel guilty? Inconsiderate idiot.

Brushing herself off she rose to locate her other shipmates, noting Usopp's leg twitching above a pile of the wreckage. She called aloud in the direction she had heard the voices before.

"Hey, is everyone okay? Oi, Luffy? Zoro? Can you hear me? Where are you?"

"Over here, Nami, is that you?" A faint call from over the side of the ship floated up to her. "Robin's here too, are the others still aboard?"

"I think so, hang on, we'll meet you down there."

A faint groan announced the resurfacing of Sanji's consciousness, as Nami set about extricating Usopp (none-to-gently), from the heap of broken timber by hauling on his exposed limb.

"Nnngh… ow. Oh, Nami-san! Are you alright?" He squinted up at her with a dazed smile, nursing the side of his head. Nami dumped the marksman to the side and began tugging at the pair of horns belonging to the doctor as she replied casually.

"Yes, thank you, somewhat better than the ship at any rate..." She tried not to concern herself about him, as she successfully removed the small reindeer with a clatter of spars and splinters. Hefting him under one arm she rolled Usopp towards Sanji with her foot, the long-nosed man burbling incoherently, still semi-conscious. "Here, you take this one."

The pair descended from the ship onto the sand carrying their crewmates, meeting up with the other three awaiting them near the stern. The Going Merry had encountered the island at such speed that the entire craft was now listing at an alarming angle supported by its hull, completely beached. Fortunately the coastline seemed to consist almost entirely of an immense stretch of fine sand. Although the sea was quite some distance behind them, the ship had not connected with the cliff, the destruction on deck seemingly caused by the sudden transfer from water to land, the hull having only suffered the initial jolt and the friction of the shore as it had skidded to a stop. Miraculously, the damage had been minimal.

"We haven't been out for long," Chopper observed, having now fully recovered and looking at the sky at the sun's position, which had barely changed, "no major injuries either, just some bruising; we were lucky."

Usopp was looking at his beloved ship despondently, but Luffy clapped him on the shoulder, laughing encouragingly.

"Hey, don't worry, we can fix up the deck, we always do!"

"You mean we always _have_ to," the marksman muttered after the receding figure of his captain, who was hastening to Robin and Sanji, exploring a more climbable section of the rock face. A confident but strangely kind voice came from slightly behind hm.

"She'll hold together yet. Like he said; don't worry."

Zoro moved off to join the others. It was unlike him to be comforting, and a puzzled Usopp looked after him thoughtfully for a moment, before scrambling to his feet to catch up.

* * *

Nami was trying to organise their next plan of action, despite Luffy bouncing himself up and down on his arm from a spar of rock like some rubbery yo-yo. 

"We'll need to find a source of wood to repair the ship, but if we're lucky this island will be inhabited, so don't go chopping down any forests unless we have to; if we want to make it to the next island we've got to have decent enough materials to make a good job of patching her up." She pointed to them in turn, dividing up the group, "We'll meet back here in two hours. Me, Copper and Sanji (cries of Mellorine sang out from the cook at this categorisation), will head East down the beach. Usopp, you and Zoro head West, and _try_ not to get lost," she directed at the green-haired swordsman, who scowled at her bitterly in return. "Robin, Luffy; you two go up the cliff, seeing as it seems to be what the captain wants to do..." Even as she was saying this, Luffy had fired himself skywards, grabbing onto the top of the precipice, the historian laughing at his antics.

The groups were about to separate, but were stopped by the sounds of voices above them, one of them obviously belonging to the red-jacketed boy, which seemed to be mainly saying "awesome!" He presently appeared overhead, waving at them enthusiastically and gesturing for them to join him.

Zoro looked up suspiciously.

"Now what do you think he's found?"

There was a sound of stretching rubber, as two familiar hands reached down to appear amongst them. Nami clapped a hand to her face.

"I don't know, but I have a feeling we're about to find out."

The two extended limbs wrapped about them like a pair of elastic anacondas, and, with cries of dismay, the crew were hoisted rapidly up the vertical expanse of rock. As always, the landing was far from graceful. Having been sent flying for the second time that day, six very dizzy pirates resentfully glared up at their impulsive leader, as he beamed down at them, as if expecting a reward for his actions.

"Hey guys! Look; I found some friends!"

Sure enough, a group of about a dozen curious (and, at the sight of Luffy's abilities, astonished) people were standing near-bye, having hastily moved aside to avoid the incoming crew. One, a relatively short man, sporting an outrageously large pair of sideburns and a moustache to match, stepped forward politely as they got to their feet, brushing off the dust from their clothes.

"Ahem-hem, yes! Ah, well, a pleasure to meet you all! A pleasure indeed! You see, we live in the city that is not far off from here. We were just going to the market, when we heard a crash and came to investigate, and, my goodness! What a thing to find! Celebrities!"

At this the Strawhats looked somewhat dumb-founded, Luffy simply grinning as far as his mouth could reach without severing the top of his head from the bottom. Zoro looked at the man incredulously.

"Celebrities?"

Vigorous nods came from the assembly of locals as the moustachioed man continued enthusiastically.

"Oh yes! The notorious Strawhat Luffy and his crew! You've become quite famous, especially after that incident with Crocodile," he held up a hand to hold back their questions and interjections, "ah, I know, I know, how do _we_ know about that? Well, ahem-hem, truth be told, the navy have been trying to credit Smoker with his capture and such to the best of their abilities, but the people of the Grand Line know better, and trust rumours over government promoted information," he tapped the side of his nose in a mischievous, knowing way.

Usopp looked perplexed; "but, Vivi agreed not to tell anyone so the royal family wouldn't be associated… with… us…" he slowly stopped talking at the glares he was receiving.

Sanji berated him as fiercely with his tongue as he did with his left foot. "Idiot! They might not have known about our connection with her before now, moron! Now look what that big mouth of yours has done!"

Alarmed at this sudden outburst of violence the man held up his hands placatingly.

"Please! I assure you, it is quite safe, this is not new information to us!" At the sight of yet more unbelieving faces he continued; "Though it has all been through word of mouth, it seems some news had been leaked by some former members of Baroque Works, who had seen and fought with you. They reported having seen the Princess with you on your travels, and by the route you took and the mysterious defeat of Crocodile, the pieces were put together as the gossip spread from island to island. If anybody had doubted your ability to overcome him, then the reports from the stronghold, Navarone, put paid to any question about your versatility!"

A hum of admiring comments came from the gathering of people. Luffy, Chopper and Usopp were drinking in every word with relish, waving falsely modest hands, proudly smiling at the awe in the small crowd's faces.

"Oh well, it was nothing you know… I mean, I _do _have 8000 followers, but it was their day off when we dropped into the G8 fortress…"

"Yeah, it was just more fun for us really, nothing out of the ordinary…"

Four sceptical pairs of eyes looked on as they regaled their audience with more tales of Sky Island and fighting giants in tournaments.

"Is it alright for them to be telling them all this?" Zoro asked, glancing sideways at Robin, who simply shrugged her shoulders with a smile.

"If they already know all they do, I can't see any harm in it, besides; they might not believe _all_ of it, especially what Sniper-san is saying…"

Nami's hands balled into fists as she quivered with indignance.

"Oooh, that Luffy! I'm going to tie that rubbery tongue around his head! Robin, it doesn't matter if they believe us or not, what if they tell the navy? We could get found on this island, and the Going Merry is in no state to escape with at the moment! It might be days before we can move!"

Sanji viewed the scene calmly, but there was a distinctly cynical tone to his voice.

"Well, there isn't much we can do about it now, but that man's either untrustworthy, or has incredibly good hearing."

Confused, the navigator, swordsman and historian turned to look at the amiable, garrulous man, who was currently getting Luffy to further describe the sensation of sailing on clouds; he seemed perfectly pleasant and genuinely enthralled by the tales being recounted to him. Even Nami had a little difficultly understanding his wariness.

"The moustache-ossan? Why?"

There was the distinctive click of a cigarette lighter and a lazy exhalation before he answered.

"If you were in a city, which we can't even see from here, heading to the market, presumably on a day when it would be open and noisy, would _you_ be able to hear a ship crash into a sandy seashore, at the bottom of a cliff?"

* * *

A little while later the Strawhats had been coaxed into being led down to the home town of the man, who's name was Gallee, on the basis that Luffy was demanding meat, and Sanji had no inclination to see what state his kitchen had been reduced to just yet. 

"After all, we might just get some information for ourselves out of this," Nami whispered as they walked down into the winding alleyways and cobbled streets, Gallee and his friends chattering away animatedly at their find.

Wandering in and out of the shadows and streets the pirates viewed their surroundings with interest. The buildings were large, but not uncomfortably so, seeming to be mostly constructed out of a soft ochre-hued sandstone. Occasionally on one of the grander pieces of architecture an elaborate piece of carving, constructed out of the type of volcanic rock Zoro and Luffy had landed on, presided over an ornate doorway or window, often studded with polished spheres that seemed to be made of a substance akin to jet. There seemed to be an emphasis on entertainment in this mysterious city, as they passed various theatres and street performers on their journey through the metropolis, the icon of the masks of tragedy and comedy frequently appearing on shop frontings and flags. The stalls of the market that didn't sell food boasted racks of wigs in every hue, from white-blonde to ebony black, powdered make-up spanning the entire spectrum, and myriads of costumes, ranging from the stunningly glamorous, to the obscenely grotesque. Robin had managed to commandeer Gallee and was eagerly quizzing him about every aspect of his place of origin.

"So, this is the city of Hallaver?" She asked, impressed, as she looked about at the opulent nature of the settlement; clearly she had some previous knowledge of the place, as the guide willingly related his knowledge to her.

"Yes, the capital of this country; Jokari. Ahem-hem, there are several cities, all renowned for their artistic, cultural focus. Hallaver became especially famous for its acts of vaudeville, mainly centred on the magic scene…"

At the mention of this Luffy and Chopper suddenly jumped on him, stars of wonder lighting up their eyes as they shook him keenly by the arms.

"Magic?! Really?! Are you a wizard, ossan?"

"Awesome! A wizard! Hey, can you turn me into a toad, magic-ossan? PLEASE?!!"

Gallee laughed at their childlike eagerness.

"Oh-ho, not me, I'm just a baker; I'm no magician." He smiled at their crestfallen expressions, "Say now… maybe _I_ can't turn you into a toad, but I've heard tell of a new performer in town, ahem-hem… perhaps I could manage to get you a few seats for tonight's show. How about it?"

By Luffy's exuberant yell of assent and the joyous dance Usopp and Chopper were performing around an extremely irate Zoro, the good natured man took their responses as a 'yes'. He turned to the others.

"Would you like to go too? It's on me; my treat for giving an old man such an exciting break from the norm."

"Well, I'll never say no to a free night out, count me in!"

"My answer lies with hers; we accept!" Sanji graciously nodded, flashing a grin at the orange-haired girl besides him, who snorted in a contemptuous manner. Robin simply smiled, and continued to walk at the lead with Gallee as he escorted them to the ticket-office, questioning him about the origins of the town and the structure of the buildings. Finding herself walking besides Chopper, who had changed to his 'walking point' form (much to the amazement and admiration of the residents accompanying them), Nami noticed the reindeer had a slightly confused air about him, having settled down from his previous excitement.

"Something wrong, doctor?"

He blushed through his fur at being addressed as a professional medic, but replied regardless of his pleased embarrassment; "Mm, it's just… I don't know, he's very nice, and I can't wait to see some magic, but… he smells… wrong."

"Really? How so?"

His sensitive nosed twitched in the direction of the short man walking next to Robin as he tried to explain; "well, it's no so much that it's wrong… but, he said he's a baker, didn't he? But I can't smell any flour, or bread, or pastry… nothing like that at all! I can smell something, but I can't place what it is."

Sanji nodded in accordance.

"I agree; he's never baked a loaf in his life. Which leads me to wonder what he really does, and why he'd want to cover it up… It's all far too suspicious for my liking."

"Something that involves writing."

Chopper looked up at Nami with as realisation dawned on him.

"Of course! That's what I could smell, ink! Like the stuff you use Nami! But, how could you tell he uses ink?"

She pointed to his mouth; "you can't really see it because of the moustache, but there's a little bit of his lip that's been stained blue… I used to suck on the nib of my pen when I was a kid, out of habit. Bellemere-san used to tell me off and told me I'd get ink poisoning so I stopped, but I remember what it looked like in the mirror; it was pretty hard to get the mark off so she wouldn't know I'd been doing it again."

"Well, at least he was telling the truth when he said he wasn't a magician; he's not very good at illusions." Zoro joined them, having been listening in whilst trying to deal with Usopp's outrageous tales about the Davy Back fight that he was still spouting to all ears that would listen.

"Wizard or not, just what kind of trick is trying to pull off?"

* * *

Mwahaha... the plot thickens! Also, please feel free to visit my deviantart site for some One Piece and SaNa fanart; the link is on my profile if you're interested. 


	3. Smoke and mirrors

ea Well, here we are! Chapter the third! Sorry about the slow updates, but I'm really uber busy at university at the moment; an animation degree is not a very forgiving subject when it comes to time. Anyway, enough of me! On with the story!

One Piece still doesn't belong to me, no matter how I plead wtih Oda Sensei.

* * *

The heavy scent of velvet and dust permeated the air of the opera house, the light filtering in from around the thick blinds covering the high windows tracing the fine outlines of gothic arches onto the crackling plaster of the walls in brilliant gold. Caught in the beams the dust motes twirled and danced in their own ballet of anti-gravity, seemingly eternally suspended above the rows of seats, dressed in a rich hue of burgundy. It was magnificent hall, a chapel of decadent, half-derelict splendour. Gradually the place had filled until it was literally brimming with eager spectators, the ambience of thrilling expectation filling the air with a hum of whispered rumours. 

"Did you hear…? He's supposed to be very handsome…"

"Under that mask? Oh no, I bet he's horribly disfigured, poor thing, and I heard he was an ex-marine…"

"Oh no dear, I heard he was a pirate! Turned to the theatre from an accident…"

"Can he really turn people into…?"

"Just suppose! Though, I expect that's just publicity…"

"Well, I had it from my next door neighbour's third cousin that…"

Nami's ears prickled from tuning into a thousand different sources of information, none more reliable or coherent than the next. All evening they had been shuttled from crowd to crowd, be it at the ticket desk or in the street, always hearing gossip in the same vein; the star of the moment, the Marvellous Mister Maragou.

"Seems to be a popular subject?" Nami had asked Gallee, as they left the box office, making towards their host's living quarters.

"Oh yes, ahem-hem, yes, quite!" The animated, stout man had replied from under his bristling facial hair, as they edged around a gaggle of children who were absorbed in watching a puppet show, which seemed to largely consist of people hitting each other with fish. "Maragou-sama has only been on the scene for a little over two weeks now, but he's become the centre of attraction in record time about these parts. Really a remarkable feat; with our city so focused around the arts of enchantment, you might appreciate the competition is, ahem-hem, well, somewhat fierce," he paused whilst Zoro forcably detached Luffy from the gathering of children, who had also become captivated by the wooden figures and their antics, "so for his stardom to climb this rapidly, well, yes; remarkable, quite remarkable!"

"I'm surprised you managed to get such good tickets for us, considering how popular he is; front seats! Very impressive…" Sanji had commented, dryly.

If the be-whiskered man had appeared a little flustered, one might have put it down to the heat of the day, or perhaps the dust, but several eyes raised knowing eyebrows at each other as they continued along the cobbles, worn smooth by the constant traffic of feet and carts.

* * *

Nami looked around her with quiet appreciation. Seated now as they were in their prestigious position, the atmosphere was almost as charming as the rickety but still spectacular old theatre that was housing the show; it was difficult to begrudge their guide after his generosity. Even if this was a set-up, those tickets hadn't been cheap, and she was _never_ one to pass up a free evening out. Besides, if it was a trap, they could handle it; she'd mentally mapped the closest exits, and had positioned herself in the safest seat, securely in the centre of the crew between Robin and Zoro (she was regretting choosing to sit herself next to the latter slightly, as he seemed to be utterly bored by the whole fiasco and kept threatening to fall to sleep; hardly the best way to fit in with the crowd, as snores are prone to draw attention to a man). Luffy had been placated slightly for the time being by a munificent offering of a wondrous concoction, apparently a favourite delicacy of the island, known as ice-cream. For the first time all day he was quiet, as he occupied himself with the difficult task of eating it without losing any to its obstinate tendency to melt. Usopp and Chopper were similarly engaged, Usopp currently brazenly professing to having invented the cold sweet substance several years ago, the small reindeer naively gasping in amazement at this fictitious revelation. 

Pushing what few concerns she had left out of her mind, the navigator shuffled her shoulders comfortably against the back of her chair, the plush, slightly worn fabric tousling the silken fabric of the dashing but simply cut dress she was wearing; a striking number in black and white, but not overly conspicuous (and, of course, reasonably priced, once she had exchanged a few words with the seller). She looked a little anxiously at her captain and crew; Luffy was still wearing his typical jacket and half-length jeans, the hat in pride position atop his head, clashing outrageously with the evening dress of the surrounding populace. The others were like-wise wearing their usual gear and, despite her practically pleading with him, Zoro had refused to wear a suit; still clad in his casual white t-shirt, bandana tied in it's established place on his arm. She hadn't even bothered to ask him to leave his katana; she might as well have requested for the world to stop spinning. As it was, only she, Robin and Sanji were visually acceptable in the auditorium, Robin sporting a very flattering ankle-length dress made of an unusual fabric that shined alternatly blue or purple, depending on the light that fell upon it, whilst Sanji was… well, Sanji. Looking sideways so that he wouldn't notice, Nami observed the chef, presently attempting to silence the sniper's manifest lies without resorting to violence. He hadn't even needed to change, but even so a crisp new shirt, in the shade of blue commonly known as 'electric', was neatly arranged under a clean tie and suit. She noticed his shoes glittered more than usual from an extra polish, and perhaps the buttons of his sleeve gleamed brighter than before; Sanji was always meticulous about his presentation, and the navigator viewed his hair with a slight feeling of envy as she settled back with her nose behind a leaflet, how _did_ he get it so shiny like that? The red-head tucked a loose strand of her own hair behind her ear self-consciously, unaware that the self-same man was quietly admiring the sheen of amber that seemed to emanate from her locks like a halo of soft fire.

* * *

Light faded away from around them like a fog dispersing into the night, as the orchestra filled the air with curious strains of half-formed music, as strings were tuned and reeds adjusted. The chatter dissolved into an expectant silence, as the audience turned to the stage, a thousand eyes resting on the vast maroon curtain; perhaps, truly, the only wall that separates our reality, from the realms of our dreams. 

Certainly, it seemed as if that same wall had suddenly been wrenched away from existence, the barrier broken, as the great swathes of cloth dramatically split apart down their centre. Flung apart they gave way to reveal the boards, lit by a thousand candles suspended by all manner of lantern, chain and chandelier alike, a tidal wave of gasps from the audience washing onto the stage at the sight.

Echoing footfalls were heard from within the wings, before a mysterious figure proceeded to walk slowly and regally to the centre of the stage. He was everything a magician should be and more, the paragon of vaudeville; face obscured by a titanium white mask, the glossy texture of the stately top hat complementing the sweeping black cloak, lined with blood red silk. A pair of white kid gloves were the only indication of a man beneath the clothes as they betrayed a glimmer of flesh above the closely fastened cuffs, held up about the splendid ruffles of a ruby cravat with an affectation that described a highly discerning attitude. He stopped, and stood; surveying his audience in all his imposing magnificence and mystery, the wondering silence so pure that, as he gestured flamboyantly with his hand towards the ceiling, you could hear the material of his cape flutter against the air, even from the lofty seating of the upper circle, motionless as it was with bated breath.

A voice that resonated, so brazenly and musically as to give it the quality of a great and solemn church bell, tolled out from underneath the false porcelain face.

"Welcome."

It was an announcement as one who had created the very universe might give. And though, as a performer, all knew that he did not own the grand theatre that he was currently presiding over, at that moment nobody in all the world would have denied that it belonged to him, and him alone; arcs, eaves, guests and all. He bowed low, and while all around was awe and approbation, a certain green-haired swordsman couldn't help an imperceptible sneer of contempt.

_Hnh. Pompous egoist._

Scornful as he was, however, as the expressionless white mask turned its hollow, black eyes to look, seemingly, straight into his, Zoro couldn't help a cold shiver running down his spine. As the magician turned to wave an assistant onto the set he bristled, a grimace of derision lending itself to his already stern features; Roronoa Zoro did not like this man.

Otherwise, the programme passed a highly enjoyable forty-five minutes, the gaping spectators constantly astonished and delighted by feats of enchantment and manipulation that would shake the trust of one's eyes in the strongest of men. Wine was poured from an invisible fountain in the air. A woman was concealed, cut in two, and then her lower half left the stage as the upper was suspended some five metres above the ground. Flocks of butterflies made of paper soared out over the crowd in multicoloured clouds, and, much to a particular navigator's glee, gold was issued forth from out of his palms in nuggets, as rain might fall from the sky. After these and many more similarly incredible deeds, the Marvellous Mister Maragou deftly vanished the twelve dancing ribbons that he had likewise conjured into existence, and turned to his rapturous observers. His voice echoed as if his chest were as hollow as the holes that seemed to serve as his eyes, as he spoke out with dignity, and, curiously, an undeniable hint knowing mischief.

"My dear guests. Those of you who may have had the, if I may take the liberty to say, 'privilege', to have seen my act before now, may realise that now is the time when I am in the habit of requesting the presence of a volunteer from the audience…"

At this Robin recognised Luffy showing signs of an imminent leap to the magician's side; a couple of well placed extra arms (one firmly clamped over him mouth), kept him seated however, the crowd about them none the wiser, all attention being fixed on the dapper illusionist.

"…however, I have become aware that, amongst our many refined and distinguished visitors here tonight, we have the great fortune to have a few characters of…_intreguing_ repute."

* * *

Red lights were flashing and sirens were hollering in Nami's ears as her entire body stiffened, creeping dread injected itself sickeningly into her convulsed diaphragm. _Shit! Maybe I'd expected the navy, but not this…!_ Getting dragged on stage was the last thing they needed if they were trying to keep a low profile… _I'm going to hang that damned Gallee from the floodlight by his entrails!_ From the similar, subtle reactions of her Nakama it was clear that they had all seized the direction of events, and whilst six silently sat more rigidly, there was one particular member who was making all efforts to escape his seat, and surely would have succeeded if he hadn't been held absolutely static by yet another half dozen hands reinforcing Robin's grasp. 

"Fond as I am of this delightful, magnificent, beautiful city…" the honey-soaked words were not lost on his audience, who practically exuded their pride and appreciation of his flattery, as they warmed to him ever more, "I have noticed a certain, _charming_, tendency, for word of mouth to produce the news even before the ink is on the presses!" He joked lightly, familiar with the quirks of the locals he held like soft clay in his hands, as they willingly chuckled at their own characteristics being related to them. "So, it may not be new to some of you to learn that our prestigious guests are none other than those brave, reckless, daring vagabonds; the Strawhat pirates!"

There was, to Nami's repeated amazement, eager applause and surprised amusement at this announcement from the crowd around them. Had they really become so popular?

The long-nosed marksman was trying desperately not to grin, and failing considerably; it was certainly a pleasant change to be the favourable centre of attention, and who could resist the charms of the ever valiant Captain Usopp? His fear presided over his conceit however, so he remained entirely still; and the situation certainly was one to be fearful of. They were effectively caught in a much tighter trap than any cage that had been previously conceived by their enemies. He could only hope that the only genuine enemy that they would have to face here was their own celebrity. Chopper was equally apprehensive, sitting even lower in his seat, regardless of the fact that his was so tiny that he was invisible from behind at any rate. Robin was as unreadable as ever, a small smile hovering on her lips, and Zoro only scowled even more darkly, as if to say 'I _told_ you this was a bad idea', though he didn't dare to speak it in as many words.

Sat on the end, Sanji viewed the excited woman next him guardedly, how quickly could innocent amusement transform into iron manacles? The situation was completely out of their control; if they went against the favour of the crowd, it would all be over quicker than you could say 'curtain call'. They were as toys to this so called 'marvellous' Maragou, and whether they would merely be played as puppets of this island's idiosyncratic fashion, or tossed as rags to the dogs of the military, was entirely up the mysterious architect of events officiating over the evening's entertainment.

He sat back to watch the show.

"Now then, as a magician, I must profess that I have something of a knack for making things… appear," as he spoke a full deck of cards materialised in his fingers, melting away into nothingness as he carelessly gestured behind him, "but I feel it a little discourteous to force an appearance…"

_As if that isn't exactly what you're doing_... a curly eyebrow arched ironically.

"So… may I have the honour? Or… am I to be thwarted in my hopes?" This time the mask was unmistakably directed at the seven figures lining the front-most row. "Ladies? Gentlemen?"

_If we refuse, we're the bad guys, and everyone knows we're here, if we accept… who knows, but then…_Nami was already forcedly smiling, blushing as they stood up and waved modestly at the tumultuous applause that greeted them as they made their way to the stairs leading onstage _…we seem to have survived a lot of encounters with the unknown so far._

Standing next to the magician awkwardly (save Luffy, who was trying to see if he could disappear into Maragou's cloak, as had the twelve white doves that had also originated from the loose material), the pirates waited for the reaction to subside as their eyes adjusted to the glare of the spotlights- the illumination was such that the majority of the audience seemed to blend into one dark blur; fabric, faces and furniture all but indistinguishable from one other in the gloom that stretched away from them. Perhaps it made it easier, perhaps it made it worse; the unseen eyes. All the same, what was by far the most disturbing for Nami was the presence of that blank mask. White, so utterly, utterly white, so impenetrable, the sockets as black and hollow as they had been from her previous distance. The bell-like voice rang in laughter at their captain's antics, as he obligingly showed Luffy that it was simply a piece of fabric, or was it? A bouquet of white lilies was released from the depths of its folds, and handed graciously to Robin, who was smiling with almost as much enjoyment as was evident on the faces of Usopp and Chopper, who were already beginning to warm to treading the boards as stars in their own right.

"Ah, but enough with this merry tomfoolery!" The mask wiped away an imaginary tear of mirth with a gloved hand, "the show's the thing! Now then!" He turned to Luffy again, who was fishing around in his straw hat in hopes of retrieving a rabbit, much to the crowd's hilarity, as waves of appreciative laughter broke over them. "I must confess that I was hoping to conduct a rather… _special_, piece of magic, or, rather, an experiment, with you... if you would be so kind? I apologise for my forwardness, but, with your exploits at sea…"

"Ooh! Hey, that sounds fun! Hey, Usopp, you like experiments too don't you? No problem! We'll do it! Anything!"

More applause issued forth from the darkness before anybody could do anything to dissuade the black-haired boy from his foolhardy acceptance. Nami felt as if she had just been sold for the price of a piece of meat, and promised herself to kill Luffy ten times over if they ever survived the humiliation alone, never mind what the mysterious and, to her, increasingly sinister, conjurer had in store for them. The mask bowed courteously to Luffy in gratitude, and again the glove waved high in the air to an assistant in the wings, who shortly appeared, bringing with him such a contraption of wires, cogs, gears and belts that it might have looked more at home on the set of a Frankenstein movie.

"This device is the work of two men; it is a piece of my own invention, and many an hour was spent on its conception and creation," he placed a hand fondly on the amalgamation of metal and dials.

"Yes, the work of two men… myself," he tilted his concealed face ominously.

"…and the devil."

* * *

Delighted horror thrilled through the aisles, and it was beyond Nami to contain a small gasp of alarm. Faltering, she found a strange comfort in seeing a familiar, solid black shape next to her shoulder. All the more so when he didn't speak, or hold her hand, or anything obnoxious like that; but simply gave her the slightest hint of a smile, the rest of the left half of his face obscured as it was by soft, yellow hair. Zoro sighed reluctantly, holding Luffy by his collar to prevent him bodily jumping on the machine as he exuded interest and enthusiasm. 

"Awesome! What is it?! How do you use it?! _Awesome!_"

"Ha! What a card you are sir! What a card! Well, if you'll indulge me, I will attempt to explain… you see, here on the Grand Line, it is not uncommon to encounter users of that most fascinating phenomenon known as the Devil Fruit. You sir, if I am not mistaken, are one of those who have eaten of these rare produce yourself, are you not?" Luffy nodded enthusiastically, but due to a discrete, painful hilt being shoved into his back, he was too occupied to elaborate. To the crew's relief, Maragou continued without pursuing the subject.

"Well then, you may be interested to know that it is not just humans that can absorb the powers held within these creations! Indeed, it has been known for objects to have obtained the properties of a Devil Fruit before now! But here," he stroked the contraption with pride and emphasis, "_here_, is something completely unattempted before now; a machine that can transfer the _effects_ of a fruit on a person,_ and_ reverse it!"

Intakes of breath and whispers rushed like a muted cyclone around the auditorium, as the apparatus was viewed with fresh trepidation and intrigue.

"The effects…?"

The green hair prickled on the back of the muscular neck as the eye-less voids turned to gaze at Zoro once more.

"Oh yes… there are only a few cases in which this would work, it's true, but…" a dramatic finger held the air, "I happen to have procured a very powerful, _very_ unusual variety of Zoan fruit- the variety that donates animal transformation abilities to the user," he confided to the addressees, "but this, _this,_ could well be described as the epitome of Zoan fruits; the Ikimono, or 'Iki-Iki', fruit."

So saying he flung back part of the chassis to reveal a curiously patterned object that vaguely resembled a pineapple, scrolling lines and a blush of peach and blue colouring it up to the barbed, yellow leaves. It was partly submerged by a series of wires penetrating the flesh like a series of metallic veins, holding it within its tomb of steel plates and cogs.

"A most wonderful marvel of these seas, and obtained at no small cost; this fruit possesses the abilities to change a person into whatever animal most describes their innermost qualities. A pure, physical manifestation of the very soul…" Fascination mingled with fear as the magician stalked around his contrivance. Luffy's awestruck eyes were wide open with joy, until the analytical, scientific tones of Robin gently interrupted the hypnotising narration.

"Pardon me, but… I believe that what you are trying to say is that this machine can use the Devil Fruit to… change people, correct?"

The mask regarded Robin with what may have been uncertainty.

"Why, yes, that is its design, my dear lady, and it can completely reverse the process as well… I hope," he chuckled darkly; apprehensive laughter bubbled out of the shadows of the aisles. Usopp swallowed audibly.

"You have qualms?"

Robin smiled that pleasant smile that always came about when she was investigating something.

"Perhaps; it's just that, in relation to our captain, and the doctor… and perhaps another of our group; those of us with the abilities of a Devil Fruit…"

"Ah, yes, of course… the consumption of more than one Devil Fruit inevitably leads to a rather unpleasant demise, so I am lead to believe," if the voice was smiling, the mask didn't give an inch. "A suitable reward for greed I would venture… but fear not, this is only as the _effect_ of a Devil Fruit; if someone were to eat the Iki-Iki fruit, all of those who they chose to affect would transform, not just themselves, so affluent is its power. A user can be affected by another's abilities without harm; I have heard of such things as men of flames and smoke, men of steel and sand…" A ripple of recognition travelled through the seven pirates at these words, "this is no more than that; a transitory work," as he spoke a lever, a button, an intricate clasp were manipulated subtly, deftly, as the device was slyly angled towards a scarlet jacket. Zoro sluggishly became aware; the voice's hypnotic, resounding quality having lulled their senses. "…yes, a transitory work. A thing…" a click suddenly brought the Strawhats to attentiveness, Zoro's hand reaching out a moment too late, as a penetrating flash left stars of green and red sparkling on their retinas.

"…of smoke and mirrors."

"LUFFY!"

Their voices chorused as one as they shouted their captain's name in unison, blinking the blindness from their eyes in desperation to see what had become of their friend. Her sight returning, Nami looked at the spot where the smiling boy had been standing mere seconds ago. Her eyes roamed side to side, up and down from her eye level, seeking the familiar face…

...but, the appearance, of Monkey D. Luffy, was no longer so familiar...

* * *

(Insert dramatic chord of music here) 

Hope you enjoyed it! Ikimono is the Japanese for 'animal', just so you know, and, yes, white lilies are traditionally used at funerals... Mwahahaaaaaaaa... I love magic.

Please review, it really means a lot to me, and a huge thank you to everyone who has been so obliging as to respond before now!


	4. Monkey Buisness

On with the next chapter then! Thanks for reading so far, please review, and if you think I own One Piece there is something very, very wrong with you.

* * *

Mammals are classified apart from the other kingdoms of animals by their unique qualities of hair and, as the name implies, mammary glands. As humans were are often both vain and ignorant enough to forget that we belong to this category. Indeed, we frequently seem to forget that we are animals at all; a highly unnatural tendency, and a distinctly unhealthy one. Be that as it may, mammals are mammals, even if the property of hair seems to be largely centred on the outcrop of fur that remains on the top of our skulls. 

At the present moment, however, the hair of the captain of the Strawhat pirates, although it was as raven-hued as it had been previously, was hardly restraining itself to the top of his head. In fact, it had quickly spread down about his face, extending down his neck and along his spine, arms, torso and legs in a downy carpet of ebony. His limbs grew shorter, his body shrinking as if attracted inwards by some biological magnet. His clothes did not fall off, as one might have expected, but instead appeared to contract with him as if glued to his skin, eventually melting into the fast-spreading fur, until all that was left was the dark pelt. The infamous hat, too, seemed to dissolve onto his crown, but, instead of turning into the same black fuzz that smothered the rest of his body, left a curious golden crest that ran over his scalp down to his nape, giving him a rather fetching hood of yellow. Only his grin remained entirely unaffected.

So it was that Monkey D. Luffy truly became _Monkey_ D. Luffy.

Or rather,_Saimiri boliviensis _D. Luffy (though, to call him a black-capped squirrel monkey would be misleading, considering his unique reversal of the colouration of that particular species).

It would be somewhat redundant at this point to mention the fact that Nami screamed.

She was far from alone however, as many amongst the audience responded in a similar way, though it may be said that their exclamations were more of astonishment and joy, as opposed to the navigator's abject horror. Luffy, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious to his crew, who were standing aghast at his transformation, as he was presently doing cartwheels and chirruping gleefully at this novel experience. Momentarily petrified, Chopper began to calm down gradually as he watched his furry captain spring up onto the arm of the laughing magician, chattering away as he demonstrated his new prehensile tail by tickling him down the inside of his cloak.

"Phew, he's okay…"

Usopp was brought too from his frozen state of alarm by the doctor's sigh of relief.

"Of course! You can understand him, can't you? What's he saying?"

The others listened to the translator whilst they watched the monkey's antics, as Chopper tried his best to relate Luffy's exhilarated gibbering.

"Awesome! I've always wanted a tail! Look! I'm so small I can get into your hat! Hey, mister! This is great! Awesome! Thanks! Hey, guys!" The little creature was waving its new furry appendage at them with enthusiasm, "you've got to try this! Come on, Mister Maragou, change themmffffff!" The reindeer's speech was cut off abruptly by Nami's hand being placed firmly over his mouth.

"Don't translate _that!_" She hissed fiercely into his ear, but it was too late, and the act was too firmly in the hands of the conjurer for them to resume control of their fate.

"Well, I can hardly refuse the request of such an obliging guest, can I now?"

The performer chuckled, stroking Luffy's head, summoning a peanut from the empty air, which was promptly accepted and swallowed, shell and all. Sanji could feel his hands clench into fists inside his trouser pockets, though he kept his face perfectly pleasant. In front of the audience they were completely powerless; to go against the show, and Mister Maragou, would mean an instantaneous swing in popularity, against their favour. The indignance from the crew seemed to emanate in a furious, silent cloud through their withheld expressions, none betraying the fact that they each would have dearly loved to either flee the stage, or 'magic' their host into a state requiring an urgent visit to the nearest hospital.

"After all, captain's orders!" The joke, although receiving hearty laughter from the audience, was far from humorous in their ears, as the contraption was rotated to face the helpless group, this time directed at the ship's historian. Nami saw the cook to her right flinch considerably, but he didn't move; putting himself before a lady in the face of danger was more than instinctual for him, but, in these circumstances, it would only have caused more problems for them. The mask bowed courteously as she returned a smile as unreadable at the plastic cast face addressing her.

"Ladies first!"

Again, the blinding flash of light consumed the stage. After being prepared this time, they removed their hands from in front of their eyes to see Robin's face; a gasp of slight pain fleetingly passing her beautiful countenance. Suddenly her back whipped upwards in a wave-like pattern before she fell forwards onto her palms. Sanji made a motion towards her with an expression of alarm, but Nami caught hold of the corner of his suit's jacket, tugging him back gently as she gave him a warning glance. He bit his lip and stood back as he watched the form-fitting dress blend into the pearl-grey fur that was shimmering out from Robin's skin in silvery swathes. The long dark hair morphed into a slick black stripe, running down from the pink nose, between the stunning almond-shaped eyes, right down to the tip of the elegant tail. The black cut down along the slender shoulders slightly, almost resembling the hair of the former woman, as the graceful feline sat upright, nodding her head to the crowd in an unmistakable bow. A Russian Blue mewed to the eaves of an opera house, as Chopper interpreted for her.

"Well, this is different."

* * *

Appreciative laughter and applause rolled out towards them, as Maragou himself clapped graciously, the sound muted by his white gloves. Luffy capered around his new playmate in size, Robin responding by batting his tail with a paw light-heartedly. As the machine was turned another few degrees, Zoro lost no opportunity in sending the magician a ferociously hateful glare while the audience was watching the transformed pair. Did the conjuror draw back a little in fear? Or was he only elaborately preparing for his next 'volunteer'? Either way, it was without comment that the process was initiated on the swordsman, Usopp catching the same look of surprised pain in Zoro's eyes before he bent forwards, coming to rest on his knees as a hand went to his right ear. Both ears, in fact, as they bristled with the green-grey fur that was prickling out all over the first mate's form, the three katana at his hip undergoing as strange a transformation as the rest of him. The metal blades and their sheathes seemed to liquefy, then wrapped themselves about his right flank like triplet snakes, leaving a trio of curious stripes; one black, one red, one white, cutting swathes into the curiously viridian-tinged fur. His ears suddenly seemed to unfold like the petals of an awakening rose, his face stretching into a long, sharp-toothed muzzle, a strip of hair still the distinct green that had earnt him the nickname 'marimo' for so long on his voyages, running along his crest in a similar manner to Luffy's 'straw-hat' marking. 

Several apprehensive gasps interspersed the clapping this time, as the impressive figure of the great grey wolf looked balefully out at them, the weighty tail thumping down on the floor as Zoro sat heavily in high dudgeon. Luffy screeched joyfully and clambered onto his neck, hugging the lengthy snout as he perched on his crewmate's head impertinently. Zoro didn't growl, but from the ears lying flat against his skull, it was fairly evident that, no matter how much his captain was, _he_ was not amused. Usopp was laughing so much at his discontented expression that he hadn't even noticed he had begun to change, until some internal force jolted his spine into a whip-crack movement. The sniper performed a bizarre dance, as he jerkily found his way to the ground on his hands, wriggling into his new coat of coarse ochre. His face distorted abruptly, as had Zoro's, but his long nose came to a sharp point instead of the smooth muzzle, and as his entire body shrunk down further and further his midriff became longer and longer, his spine stretching as his proportions altered dramatically. A strangled squeak was emitted from the marksman as he finally succumbed to becoming a fully-fledged stoat, black-tipped tail quivering between his scrawny legs as he noticed the massive wolf glaring down at him; his laughter at the former samurai had been ill-timed, and he scampered to cower behind Robin, using the cat's tail as a make-shift barrier. Two dark parallel lines of mahogany and a haze of deep brown above his glittering jet eyes were the only remaining evidence of his beloved goggles and curly black hair.

Chopper was busy regaling the audience with the conversation between the pirates, which mainly consisted of Luffy's constant appraisal of the situation and Zoro's sour responses.

"Cool! Wow, your paws are HUGE!"

"Yeah, and I'll flatten you if you don't stop bouncing on my back like that… ow! Watch it!"

"Oops, sorry! Forgot you had a tail now! It's comfy to land on though."

"Not for_ me_, and mind Usopp! You've nearly squashed him twice! Robin, please stop laughing."

"My apologies, samurai-san."

It was curious sight (and sound), to observe a cat laughing, paw up about her mouth, as the yellow-crested monkey tossed the stoat up and down in the air, the wolf simply huffing and turning his back on the pack of gallivanting jokers.

Sanji's eye rested on the piece of apparatus directed at his chest before glancing up into the shadows of the mask's sight coolly.

"Completely reversible, you say?" He inquired, nonchalantly.

"Oh yes, absolutely!" The reply came back, tolling out merrily in confidence. "You still consent to assisting my little… distraction?"

Sanji smiled a trifle ironically as he gave a half-laugh; "As if I could refuse!"

* * *

The white theatrical visor dipped in a courteous bow, perhaps with equal wryness, before the cook heard a small click and felt a peculiar snap of acute agony somewhere inside his ribs, as a shock of electricity seemed to shoot out from his heart and travel throughout the network of nerves in a painful instant. He felt his head crack backwards, his neck arching as a singularly odd feeling passed up along his spine. Bones stretched, joints groaned; he became faintly aware that the leather of his shoes had fused into and become one with his skin, whilst his feet were elongating rapidly, the toes crushing together into one solid mass at the end of his legs. Black material and pale skin meshed into a surface of glossy obsidian as he fell forwards onto what had been his palms, which were now hard and smooth, clattering onto the wood with a weight far greater than the body he had previously owned. His field of vision split sickening to reveal a new perspective of 360 degrees as his eyes slid to either side of his now long and heavy head, supported by a thick, but mobile and extensive neck. A curtain of yellow still remained over the left half of his face, growing to continue for some length down to his shoulders, which seemed a long way off from their usual position. Something tickled between his ankles, and he looked down between the four huge black pillars that served as his new legs to see a bright blonde waterfall of hair. A tail is a strange thing to own after the stunted, immobile end of backbone that we humans are endowed with, and moving it was an equally bizarre sensation to Sanji, as a whole new length of functioning vertebrae was revealed to him. 

Barely starting to recover from the surreal, rapid change, the former chef found the next experience by far the most strange and wonderfully unexpected; as Nami wrapped her arms joyfully around his long, soft muzzle.

"Oh, Sanji! You're so _lucky!_ I _love_ horses!"

A large chorus of laughter rippled out from the audience as the vast black stallion's strong legs buckled in pleasure and surprise, the hoof of his right fore-leg pawing the ground in dazed bliss at the navigator's spontaneous embrace. Letting go abruptly, slightly embarrassed at her impulsive actions, Nami stepped back from Sanji, who was elatedly braying what Chopper revealed to be an equine equivalent of "Mellorine!" Covered in slick black fur, save for his blonde mane and tail, he was a full sixteen hands, made all the more impressive by the rest of the crew having been reduced in size before now. Built similarly to an Arab breed he was muscular, but slender and graceful, a direct reflection of his previous form; the only difference from the pedigree class being the considerably larger hooves, more akin to the feet of a Shire. A barely perceptible hair-line streak of vivid blue remaining from his shirt ran just above the polished finish of the front hooves, and also lay in a fetching chevron across the chest of the handsome creature.

Loath as she was to admit it, Nami admired him.

It had not gone without her notice that the magician, too, seemed impressed by the transformation; whilst with her other fellow crew members, his responses had been of amusement and exaggerated pride, there had been a split-second where she could have sworn he was taken aback. Zoro, too, had been given a somewhat wary glance by the mask on several occasions now; as good a performer as he was, Maragou could not completely conceal that he was aware that these were not animals to be trifled with. _If he's that edgy, perhaps he's still going to give us reason to turn against him…_ Nami made a mental note to attach herself to one of their two main fighters (Luffy being a little too small for her comfort), whatever she managed to turn into.

When the mirth and marvelling comments had died away, the machine was directed for a sixth time, and this time it was with a distinct warning glance at the conjurer that Sanji moved away from the navigator, after she gave him an affirmative pat on the neck. Nami didn't even hear what the illusionist said before he flicked the switch, she was bracing herself so determinedly.

Bated breath was suddenly released from the audience in fresh gasps of awe this time, as the beam of light struck home, causing the pirate thief to immediatly erupt into flowing strands of orange, black and white. Her arms flung themselves apart as great swathes of monochrome feathers burst outwards into graceful arcs, all the while her torso, legs and head shrinking, the pert lips hardening and shooting forwards into a neat black beak. It almost looked as if she had been flung into a wind-tunnel and been carved and formed by the ether into a new, more aerodynamic structure, as the dress split into a fanning tail and the wings took form. The remaining streak of tangerine came to lie over her shoulders as a flash of vibrant colour between the black and white colouration of the pretty magpie, that was alighting onto the stage with a dancing hop-skip. Momentarily she appeared to be confused as to how to go about the business, but, with a few hesitant flaps, followed by an assertive jump and a strong down beat, Nami took to the air with all the grace only a bird can possess, as if she had been born to fly all her life even as a human. Coming to rest on the poll of Sanji's mane between his great velvety ears, she gave a pleasant chirrup and nodded to her spectators amiably, giving Sanji a sharp peck on the head when she nearly lost her foothold due to his delighted whinnying.

Chopper was side-stepping agitatedly from one foot to the other, hiding as ineffectually as usual behind one of Sanji's hind legs. The mask looked down from its comparatively lofty position inquiringly.

"Are you afraid?" He waved a gloved hand at the six animals scattered about the stage, "your friends are quite unharmed, and the transformation can be reversed; there is nothing to fear, I assure you!"

Chopper swallowed anxiously and spoke apologetically.

"Oh, no, it's not that… I mean, yeah, I'm a b-bit scared…" he looked at the strange mechanics pointing down at him ominously, "b-but, it's just that, I don't think it will work on me…"

"Ah, but humans and, er, well," the magician seemed at a slight loss as to what to call the small, furry doctor, "…other creatures, are affected equally! So then, if your courage is not in question..." again, the switch clicked sharply downwards under the deft flick of his finger, "let's see if I can't dissuade your doubts!"

The Marvellous Mister Maragou was to be found proven wrong in his suppositions, however, as the beam of light struck Chopper, and, though there was a slight expression of discomfort from the reindeer medic, he remained as he had been before. Momentarily bewildered, the magician quickly replaced his slight disappointment with realisation.

"Ah! I see! So, you must be a Zoan-fruit user! Most interesting, most interesting… I had not anticipated encountering one so soon! So, of course, you _wouldn't_ be affected! Very intelligent of you to anticipate this! But please," he gave an elegant leg imploringly, "would you please do us the courtesy of demonstrating your ability? We can't have an incomplete collection now, can we?" Chopper pulled his hat down over his eyes a little, protesting, but after encouraging cheers from the crowd, he blushingly obliged, turning into his 'walking-point' reindeer form, to his further pleased embarrassment; as more clapping and whistling came from the aisles.

Thanking Chopper for his co-operation, the cape swirled dramatically around as a glove was cast out at the row of transfigured seafarers in a flamboyant gesture.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I give to you, the Strawhat Pirates!"

The menagerie bowed to the tumultuous applause.

The revelries were rudely brought to a stop however, as the sound of the double doors leading into the seating area slamming open echoed about the eaves discourteously.

"Yes, and thank you for giving them to us," a steel-edged voice came from the front of an approaching gathering of white uniformed men, as more appeared suddenly from the wings, surrounding the party, "and in return…"

The Lieutenant displayed a neatly inked piece of parchment as he strode to the stage.

"Here's an arrest warrant."

* * *

Outbursts of indignance and dismay were emitted from the audience, Maragou protesting vehemently at the interruption and invasion of his programme. People were already being stewarded out of the door at the ends of the firearms toted by scores of marines, the majority of whom were enclosing the seven animals, who were in turn raising hackles and forming a defensive circle. Luffy was chattering away agitatedly, waving his limbs and screeching, and the elegant cat was sitting with a distinctly concerned air. 

"Well crap." Sanji summarised.

"I can't stretch! Why?! This sucks! OI! YOU!" The monkey directed its anger at the magician, "Change us back! Hurry up wizard-ossan! I want to kick their asses!"

"Luffy, he can't understand you!" Chopper tried to explain, but Luffy was not about to be placated, as the irate mammal continued to jabber at the back of the conjuror, who was currently exchanging words with the marine's leader. He seemed highly displeased.

"You've ruined my performance, Lieutenant."

The man sneered underneath the white cap bearing the seagull emblem.

"Hnh, what did you expect? Did you want us to wait to collect their autographs after the show?"

Nami inwardly convulsed in resentment as her beliefs were confirmed; _he was in on it all along! Ooooh, I'm going to cram that top hat right down his smarmy throat! _ Zoro snarled fiercely, making several men back away nervously, the barrels of several dozen guns still trained on the muddle of creatures.

"Why that son of a…"

"Tell me about it... hey! _Wait!_"

"Luffy!"

But the impulsive captain had already leapt away from the group, directing himself at the sweeping black cape. Flying with outstretched claws he came to rest where the performer had been standing mere seconds ago; for he had disappeared as suddenly and magically as the rest of his tricks had that evening, taken up into the thin air like smoke in the wind. Glaring up in an irritated way at the now gigantic figure of the Marine his grin was now completely inverted into an indignant scowl, the white-clad man smirking down confidently before speaking to his underlings.

"Have the men brought the cages in yet? ... Good," he waved a careless hand at Luffy and his Nakama.

"Take them."

_Screw this for a lark_, and with that singular thought Nami took off in a flurry of monochrome from her blonde perch, flying upwards with the intention of reaching one of the canvassed windows. That, at least, was the objective. The results of her actions, on the other hand, were distinctly not in accordance of her goal; as a direction was shouted out, and a curious device was fired upwards. Nami was very briefly aware of intense pain, as if a fire was searing along every fibre in her small, hollow-boned body. There was a smell of burning feathers, and then she was falling through the utter blankness of her unconsciousness as fast as she was falling from the air.

As the tazer receded from the magpie's stunned form there were a few terrifying split seconds when everything seemed so silent and still, that the inner workings of the most diligent clock in all the world and the very sun in the sky might well have ceased to move, as time shattered into as many shards of glass as there were feathers descending towards the platform. It was with unrehearsed synchrony that the Strawhats glanced as one at the equine cook, subsequently fleeing with some alacrity from his immediate presence for fear of their own lives.

* * *

It is said that the word 'berserk' originates from the term 'berserker', coming from a term used in ancient times to describe fiercesome warriors, who were commonly understood to have fought in an uncontrollable rage or trance of fury. Completely absorbed by wrath, a person in a state such as this is totally oblivious to their surroundings and the happenings about them, as their all is focused on the cause of their consternation, their entire being consumed by livid anger. 

So it can be said, with some accuracy, that Sanji went berserk.

Few things are more terrifying than a maddened, fully grown black stallion with eyes of flame, screaming its hatred and sorrow to the four winds in a maelstrom of obsidian rage, crashing down mercilessly on whatever unfortunate soul happens to present itself to its course, as the unlucky soldiers that had foolishly chosen to enter the Opera House discovered that night. Similarly infuriated, his companions were attacking with equal vehemence in a whirlwind of fur, teeth and claws. Maragou had been right to be wary of Zoro's form, as the incensed swordsman conducted his own bout of carnage, bloodied fangs bared as a spine-chilling howl ripped out from his throat, the grey fur becoming increasingly stained with brilliant crimson. The speed of the bullets flying paled into insignificance, as the Strawhats demonstrated a change in size was in no way able to restrict their desire for vengeance, Usopp causing many a man to fall due to the sharp pain of his equally sharp teeth embedding themselves through the leather of their boots into the flesh of their heels; and to fall to the ground was to be raked mercilessly by an extremely irate feline, as domestic as a tiger from the depths of the jungle. Luffy was only visible as a blur of gold and ebony fur, ricocheting from one torn face to another, the Lieutenant already clutching at his eyes in agony as chaos laid waste to the innards of the majestic old theatre, mahogany and velvet flung about in decadent entrails as the fight raged on.

Reinforcements were, somewhat reluctantly, making their way forwards. Zoro cast a glance towards the large steel cages being rolled out from out of the wings; without his katana or Luffy's strength they'd never get out of those thick bars, and without his usual body Sanji's techniques would be reduced, even with his powerful legs. The sheer numbers of the marines alone was bound to bring them down eventually. He looked at Sanji, still cavalcading about in a violent dance of death, the broken-necked dolls of the massacre spread wide about him as he continued to execute his vendetta, filled with absolute torment. Nami's comatose body was currently being supported by Chopper's antlers, who was skipping around the savagery of his friends towards Zoro.

"Zoro! We… we have to leave! If they manage to pen us in…"

"I know, I know, we need a plan; head towards that wall," he nodded towards a piece of plaster to their right, "you tell the others, I'll try and get some sense into that love-sick idiot."

The reindeer looked on after the wolf with some trepidation, as he approached the maddened horse, barking and darting around the deadly kicks that were still dealing out ferocious blows, men scattering in all directions to escape the horse's seemingly endless wrath. The doctor saw a streak of ochre out of the corner of his eye.

"Usopp!"

The stoat screeched to a halt, having been scampering away from the heavy footfalls stamping down all around him.

"Chopper! Help! It's bad enough being in this sort of mess _without_ being thirty centimetres tall!"

"Don't worry about that now; get the others near that wall! Hurry! We're making a break for it!"

They set about gathering the crew, as the marines took the opportunity to reorganise themselves, broken limbed and battered, due to a temporary respite in the fight; the wolf was exchanging growls with the whinnies and snorts of the stallion. It had taken some time for Zoro to calm Sanji down out of his wanton blood bath; his flanks still heaving up and down with ragged, furious breath, his hooves and fur flecked and clogged with scarlet liquid.

An underling approached the Lieutenant, who was nursing a badly damaged pair of eyes and a heavily bleeding nose.

"Sir, what do you suppose they're doing?"

"Talking, which isn't good for our plans at any rate… Forth Division! Assemble formation beta! Now!"

As the navy hurried to comply with their leader's command, the assembly of animals had grouped near the wall, and seemed to be agreeing on something. The well trained marines suddenly pounced, a large ring of men appearing from all sides at once, two rows thick; the front armed with blades, the second standing further back with firearms. The Strawhats were faster yet though, as they split; the wolf and reindeer carrying the smaller crewmates diagonally outwards, the steed heading directly away from the wall, heading for the main double doors. The men set to follow Sanji, but were stopped abruptly by the Lieutenant.

"Don't! He's the most dangerous at the moment; it must be a distraction, follow the other two!"

The men split accordingly, and all seemed to be going well, as Zoro and Chopper were cornered at opposite ends of the building; the only break in the barrier of guns and swords being in the direction of the cages. The white-capped commander smiled grimly.

"Hm, that's got them. Alright! Proceed to capture the Str…"

The words died away from him before he could finish the statement however, when a great gale of black wind seemed to cleave a gash of darkness into the air in front of him, as Sanji tore full gallop back towards the wall they had been previously gathered by. Zoro and Chopper acted simultaneously, each conducting a mighty leap to clear the gap between them and the stage, following the massive indentations the furious hooves were rupturing into the antique carpet and flooring.

A great shadow of jet black and yellow seemed to hang in an immense outstretched figure for a dizzying moment, soaring towards the immovable fortification of plaster and brick, before the incalculable velocity resumed, and all that was left of the blockade was a gaping hole, some several feet wider than the huge stallion that had just kicked its way through.

Astonished mouths hung open throughout the crowd of marines, as the clattering of two collections of hooves and the padding of four paws receded rapidly away into the night. The sound reverberated about the acoustics of the opera house, as the crumbling masonry clattered equally off the cobbles outside and the wooden planking inside, the partition between the two now utterly destroyed.

Brushing the blood from out of his moustache, Lieutenant Gallee pulled an ugly face of defeat, as the groaning of the beams in the high roof and seating announced that the show had come to a close for one last time.

"Ahem-hem…Damn."

The theatre collapsed with the sigh of one who has already been held to live against their will for longer than is natural, settling into fallen dust, timber and stone, as it made its own ungainly grave, sprawled out into the streets and alleyways of its beloved city of vaudeville.

Jokari slept on; heedless of the chaos of the night, as three silhouettes carrying four other figures grew ever smaller into the distance of the surrounding hills and valleys, against the deeply slumbering blue of the night sky.


	5. Speechless

The next chapter! Read on! Warning you now, it's a bit longer than the others, and mainly descriptive, sorry! You'll get your action sequences eventually, honest!

One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda, damn him and his ingenuity! Getting there before me...

* * *

It was some ten minutes past midday when Sanji groggily surfaced from his heavy slumber, the scent of dry straw and rust mingling with the dust. He lay still for a moment, gathering his senses. He was in a barn; immense corrugated steel walls rising up about him in amber-tinted grey. Sunlight speared the cracks between the metal panels in fierce golden rays, the high tin roof clicking with the heat. Lifting his cumbersome head with some effort he started with surprise when he couldn't feel his toes, momentarily forgetting his current form, the events of the previous night came flooding back to him as sleep began to leave him fully. Snorting a stray piece of shrivelled grass from his nose he cast an eye about his surroundings; Chopper was lying a little way off, tiny chest rising and falling as he continued to sleep off the exhaustion of fleeing the city. Zoro too could be seen, apparently similarly comatose, but Sanji knew that the swordsman was just as alert asleep or awake, as irritating as his habit of dropping off at any given moment was. Something small and pale brown was flopped like a small piece of limp felt on top of Chopper's pink hat, giving off minute high-pitched snores. Noting that the marksman and historian (the silvery cat curled up atop a near-by crate), were safe, the cook hauled himself quietly to his feet and set himself to find the exit and locate the captain and the navigator. 

The navigator being a cause of some concern for him.

Finding the lofty doors ajar he eased the portal open with as little noise as he could manage, blinking at the intensity of the light outside, his hooves sinking into the brilliant emerald carpet of grass as he entered the field. The farmhouse stood a little way off, the terracotta bricks glowing a homely russet-red against the rolling greenery of the slight valley they were located in, a thin trail of smoke coming from the chimney. Sanji sniffed the air appreciatively; smoked fish, mackerel, to be precise, hickory being the wood of choice. Clopping over slowly he cast an eye down at the ground, watching the black pendulums that had been his arms swing back and forth in rhythm with his back legs. Four legs. No hands. For all his fighting style and athleticism, the mere thought of losing those appendages was far more painful than any wound he had received; for a dedicated cordon bleu such as himself, the situation was devastating.

Not as devastating, however, as the idea of losing Nami was to him, and at this moment in time finding her was his highest priority. He was fairly sure she was safe, having left her in the hands of the owner of the farmstead. Though he had only encountered her for a short time, he had taken to the lady, and felt her to be trustworthy. Descending the slightly inclining grassy slope the events of the previous night replayed in his mind like a grainy cinema reel; he had been so tired, it almost felt like trying to remember a particularly evasive dream…

* * *

It had been cold and cloudless, the heat dropping rapidly in the heavy night as they moved away from the cloistering warmth of the city buildings into the surrounding countryside. On they ran. On and on, until the blood on his hooves grew sticky, then hard, falling away in dark vermillion flakes as his feet relentlessly pounded the cobbles, followed by winding country roads, as they fled, upwards and outwards from the metropolis. Slowing to a trot eventually, the crew discussed the situation in breathless notes; the air coming in starts and stops from their flagging lungs. In fact, as abrupt as Zoro usually was in speech, it had been him and the doctor mainly doing the talking; Sanji being somewhat… preoccupied. He'd never lost it quite as much as that before, and though, as he looked at the prone figure of the magpie resting in the cradle of Chopper's antlers, he felt his anger surface again, he could not deny that he was ashamed. Perhaps even a little frightened; he couldn't even remember half of the action that had happened back there. After discussing again and again their indignance and countless, hopeless ideas of how to change back, they fell into silence and dropped into a sombre walk. The smaller crewmates had already succumbed to sleep for quite some time before the doctor too showed signs of weariness. 

"Oi, Chopper, you need some sleep…"

"No, no," the reindeer stubbornly shook the drowsiness out of his eyes, "I'm fine, just… just a little tired…"

Sanji looked at him sincerely; "No, it's true; you _need_ to sleep. If we encounter some people, you're the only one who can act as an interpreter. You need to rest; come on, I'm big enough for you to lie on if you shrink."

Chopper hesitated, then reluctantly changed down to his raccoon-type body, as Sanji kneeled down for him. Nami was deposited carefully between his shoulder blades, as Chopper then joined Luffy, who was draped across the dark horse's broad back snoring outrageously, Robin curled up on his haunches. Setting off again, Zoro toting Usopp, they continued without speaking at a steady pace. Though both Zoro and Sanji had something of an instinct to start arguing, they remained silent; Zoro out of fatigue, Sanji out of concern for his precious cargos unbroken slumber. He could only hope that Nami's sleep would remain as harmless as dreaming… The clopping and padding lulled Chopper to sleep as Sanji's spine rolled, rose and fell beneath him; it reminded him of the ship, as his eyelids gradually fell over his weary eyes, letting him sink into uneasy dreams of magicians and machines.

They continued in this fashion for a long time, until the little hours of the morning grew larger, the pinkish orange glow of sunrise beginning to tint the iron-blue sky. Sanji looked at the horizon changing to a rosy hue; it had been a blood-red sunset before they had entered the theatre, so the weather would be fine today. That would help their progress, but no rain would mean their scent and tracks would be dry; if they were unlucky enough to have marine-trained dogs on their trail, things would go badly for them. Zoro was thinking along the same lines when his sharp eyes caught some movement to their left. He stopped. Sanji looked at him inquiringly, then followed the wolf's line of vision, the figure of a woman gradually coming into clear view.

The pair watched guardedly as she approached. She was not armed, was dressed in a simple fashion, and had something of an intellectual air about her, as a pair of neat heels clicked on the hardened earth of the rough path they were standing on. Stopping a few metres off she seemed to be unsure of how to continue, but ventured a hesitant question at the curious collection of animals (or, at least, at the two that were awake at the present time).

"Ah… um, excuse me, but… are you the Strawhat pirates?"

The horse and the wolf remained immobile. She nodded understandingly.

"Of course, of course, you wouldn't admit that… not in your current situation, of course not… silly of me." She tapped a foot thoughtfully, then shrugged pleasantly but resignedly.

"Well, I can't persuade you, but if you will believe that I mean you no harm, you might follow me… I got a call on the den-den mushi from my cousin in the city; she'd been at the theatre," she added as she explained her knowledge of their plight, "She guessed you'd head this way from the direction the building collapsed in. Everyone's completely sympathetic towards you of course; people in this country idolise the theatre scene, you know… Anyway, I'm getting away from myself. It's obvious you're tired, and injured…" she sent a concerned glance at the bird nestled at the base of the blonde mane, Sanji shifting a little anxiously. Zoro simply stared blankly at the woman.

"I can offer you shelter, and some means of treatment, though I'm no expert… but, if you do not wish to follow, I'll understand."

With that she turned around, heading off to the side, where the dusty red roof of a smallholding could just be seen above the crest of the field to their left. For few moments the two Nakama looked on after her, as she walked away, not looking back at them. Surprisingly, it was Zoro who moved first, heading after her. Sanji set off next to him, looking down at him carefully.

"You think we can trust her?"

Zoro nodded up to the magpie grimly.

"Can we afford not to?"

So it had been that they had been led down to Eruc Farm, and, as the dawn's first light broke over them in pale yellow rays, sleep also came upon them, as the efforts they had expended finally caught up with the two Nakama. Sanji had vaguely been aware of being lead into a large building with dry, warm bedding, and after that, only his weariness remained as he fell to dreaming, falling feathers and stark white masks filling his mind with patterns of smoke and mirrors…

* * *

Exiting the field, Sanji walked up the small gravel path leading to the homely residence. Realising that there was no way he would be able to enter the house even if the door was unlocked, he circumnavigated the building, looking for the room situated directly below the chimney on the assumption that whoever was smoking the fish would be monitoring the process. Approaching a promising looking window he could see that it was open; he carefully nudged the two hinged panels of diamond-leaded glass panels aside with his nose, craning his long neck over the lintel to see inside.

"I think you'll find it's customary to knock," a welcoming voice gently upbraided him, making him start, knocking his head against the top of the small opening's wooden frame. The woman from earlier that morning appeared from around the cooking ranch, wiping her hands on a clean dishcloth.

"But then, it must be rather hard to do without hands."

Sanji could only coyly bow his head at this in acknowledgement. There was a slightly awkward pause; both knew that communication was going to be quite difficult. Though he could understand her, making his own thoughts transparent to her would prove a tricky task. Looking about for some device that could assist him he noticed a pad and pencil nearby, but quickly dismissed the idea; he couldn't imagine being able to write anything coherent with his mouth. An idea occurred to him. Spotting something with potential he snorted and nodded his head in its direction. Fortunately she caught his drift, turning to see what he was trying to refer to.

"The table? No, what's on the table… a bowl, cutlery, magazine, plates… the magazine?"

The black horse nodded, then pointed his snout towards another surface, where an array of pastries was cooling off, fresh from the oven. The lady puzzled over the two seemingly unrelated things for a moment.

"Magazine pies…? What on… wait, magazine… mag… the magpie! Of course, you want to see her! Is that it?"

Nodding with enthusiastic urgency, the blonde mane flopping about over his long obsidian face, Sanji looked at her imploringly; even with his equine features she could see he was greatly worried about her. Smiling at his well meant concern she moved to the door behind her.

"Wait there, I'll come out and take you to her…"

Sanji lingered at the window anxiously, until the woman appeared from around a corner and beckoned him to follow her. Clattering over he walked along with her, as she continued her one-sided conversation with him.

"Don't worry about her too much; she's still unconscious, but the damage isn't too severe. Being such a small creature it looks like she'll be out for quite a long time, but she was lucky- an electrical shock of some sort, wasn't it? Mm, thought so, but she's quite a sturdy little thing, she'll pull through. Of course, I'm nowhere near as good at this sort of thing as my husband w… oh, but I forget myself!" She held out a hand out of instinct as she introduced herself, but realised her folly at offering a handshake to a horse and placed it behind her neck in an embarrassed fashion.

"My name's Lily, Lily Fellows, it's nice to meet you, er, sir…"

She laughed as Sanji performed a peculiar but graceful bow on his forelegs in a courteous manner. She replied with a polite little curtsy, glad that at least he could use some familiar body language. They continued around another section of the building, reaching a sort of adapted shed that was set apart from the main house. Faded paint still traced the faint lettering of "R. Fellows. Rural Veterinary Surgeon," in weathered red against the dark green boarding. There was a long, wide window that spanned the Eastern wall of the shack, which Lily opened outwards for Sanji after having entered the place.

Relieved at their luck of finding someone with such ideal talents for Nami's predicament, Sanji leaned his head into the small building, looking about for the said "R. Fellows," presumably the husband of the kind lady, but was greeted with only the interior of a rather cramped studio-come-operating theatre. From the lack of organisation and the considerable amount of dust on the various filing cabinets and sheaves of paper littering the place, it had been some time since the place had been used. Confused and a trifle apprehensive, he noticed that the main work area had been cleared and graced with a clean linen cloth, on which Nami was lying, a tiny drip feeding into the feathers of her right wing. Behind the table a young girl was seated, looking sadly at the comatose bird, as Lily looked at Sanji apologetically as she explained.

"I'm afraid my husband… passed away some years ago, but we've treated her to the best of the abilities we gained from watching him… this is my daughter, Helen."

The young girl looked up at the black and yellow horse as if noticing him for the first time. She had large hazel eyes surrounded by the dark brown hair she had inherited from her mother, but, instead of being tied back in the neat, tight bun that Lily sported, it curled about her head like a mass of brunette springs.

Kindly tilting his head at her, Sanji couldn't help feeling a little disappointed at the absence of the surgeon, but it was far outbalanced by his sympathy and regret for the mother and child's loss. Helen regarded the large black creature with some trepidation, but nodded him a silent greeting, looking back at the prone magpie with a sigh. Sanji too looked at his unconscious Nakama; she looked so small and helpless like that, even the tangerine stripe across her shoulders seemed a little duller, as the minute chest rose and fell with her uneven breathing. Lily observed Helen with a sad fondness and went to stand next to Sanji, whispering to him, the girl completely occupied with her charge.

"Ever since she woke up and I told her about the bird, she's been down here looking after her. Truly, she's much better at caring for animals than I am; takes after her father…" Sanji noted the previously cheerful note of her voice descend to slight gloom as she said this, and gave her an encouraging press on the shoulder with his nose in the absence of a hand to place there. She smiled appreciatively.

"As I said, your friend isn't in any real danger, we just have to make sure she gets enough liquid," she indicated the drip, "and we had to clean her up, some of her feathers were pretty badly charred. I don't know if she'll be able to fly for a while. Oh, speaking of which, I noticed some of you were… well, in need of a wash…"

Once again, the transformed chef felt the hot flushing shame creep up on him, as he self consciously rubbed a hoof against his leg, the fur set hard and stiff from the congealed blood.

"If you and your friends need to bathe, there's a river not too far off from here; just head West across the field where the barn is, and then take a left down the road you come to, you'll run across it soon enough."

Loathe as he was to leave Nami's side, he took the hint, nodding and casting a last glance at the young girl watching over the navigator, before turning and trotting briskly back up to where his Nakama lay.

* * *

As he headed back up the grassy slope he came across Chopper, who had just left the barn, looking around him in a very confused way. 

"Sanji! Where are we? What's going on?!"

Having been asleep at the time, the doctor had no recollection of arriving at the farmstead, and was utterly bewildered by the circumstances, but Sanji soon explained the situation, comprehension clearing the expression of bafflement from the reindeer's face. Expressing a desire to speak with Lily, and being clean of blood himself, the medic asked where to find the good lady. Watching the pink-hatted creature trot away to the small surgery, Sanji could only imagine what Lily and Helen's reaction would be to a talking reindeer, but merely smiled mischievously and entered the barn, deciding that Chopper could relate what had happened to him later.

Entering the dusty gloom the others were already showing signs of stirring, Chopper having made something of a noisy awakening at finding himself in a strange location surrounded by equally strange animals, until he remembered what had happened at the theatre. Only Zoro remained curled up, tail to nose, emitting immense gusts of snoring. As the large black horse entered he was accosted by an extremely vivacious monkey, which immediately set about clambering all over him as if he was some mobile furry climbing frame.

"Hey! Sanji! Where are we? Where've you been? I'm hungry; did you bring us any food? Make me some meat!"

Sore at the reminder of being unable to cook, Sanji bucked the impulsive captain off his back, sending Luffy to land in a heap of furry appendages on a pile of straw, out of which emerged a rather bad-tempered stoat.

"Ow! Hey, watch where you're falling!"

"But _he_ chucked me off! Hey, Sanji! Why did y…"

"Oh just be quiet for second, you gibbering ape," Sanji snapped- he was feeling more irritable by the second; for some reason he had been experiencing a welling feeling of discomfort for some time now, but he put it down to a restless night and Nami's state playing on his nerves.

"You asked me questions, and if you'll shut up for a little while, I'll answer them. Ah! Robin-chan!" His tone immediately changed as the silver cat approached, stretching in a very typically feline manner, before sitting up primly with her tail curled around her neat paws.

"Good morning, cook-san, perhaps you could explain our whereabouts? Are we safe?"

Settling down (after all, good manners in front of a lady was something no amount of Luffy's annoyance could dissuade), Sanji explained all that had happened since they had fallen asleep, and described Nami's condition, and the farm dwellers who were caring for her, in as much detail as he could.

"I would have stayed with Nami, but I figured you'd be waking up soon, and, well… she told me we should probably clean ourselves up a bit… luckily Helen couldn't see my feet because I was looking in through the window."

Luffy tilted a head questioningly.

"Why? Didn't you go inside? Isn't that a bit rude?"

Usopp clapped a paw around Luffy's head.

"Baka! How can a horse go into a house?! Sheesh… anyway, you have a point, we could all do with a wash; it's pretty dusty in here anyway, so it'd be nice to freshen up."

"What about him?" Sanji nodded towards Zoro, who was still sound asleep.

"Well, if his behaviour is still anything like usual, there's no point in trying to wake him. We'll just have to hope that he doesn't move until we get back. We can take him to the river later."

Certainly, the wolf badly needed to be cleaned; even if there hadn't been a child in question, the blood stained maw of the fiercesome creature would have frightened any number of onlookers. Sanji began to understand why Lily had been so anxious on their first meeting; he hadn't fully realised what a state they were in.

"I doubt samurai-san will wake before we return; after walking all night after that fight," Robin blinked her fascinating almond eyes coolly, smiling as she watched Luffy trying to scrub some of the mess off his claws with some hay, "the river doesn't sound too far off, and we'll be quicker if we ride cook-san." She looked up at the chef for permission politely. Sanji responding by giving an extra extravagant bow, laying his long neck and shoulder close by Robin for her jump up more easily.

"My pleasure, Robin-chwan!" He sent a reluctant acknowledgment to Usopp and Luffy, "you jerks can get on too if you like, just don't scratch me too much, got that?"

* * *

Leaving the sleeping wolf they made good time, finding the river exactly as had been instructed. They spent a merry few minutes splashing in the crisp, cold water, which was highly invigorating after the cloistering stuffiness of the barn. Luffy proved himself to be surprisingly useful, using all four of his limbs to scrub away at Sanji's legs; he thought it great fun, treating the great horse's legs as tree trunks, darting around them and splashing Robin and Usopp with water using his tail. The stoat and the monkey had a grand water fight while Sanji scraped the remaining set blood off on the stones of the riverbed, Usopp discovering his new body to be surprisingly efficient at swimming, Robin smiling as she watched them from the warm, sunny bank, drying her velveteen fur as the hour passed to one o'clock. Clean and refreshed the crew remounted Sanji, and they set off at a lively but smooth canter back to the barn. 

Sure enough, Zoro had not moved from his spot, completely dead to the world, as the others elected to go and see how Chopper was faring instead.

"He'll find us when he wakes up; we'll just have to make sure the girl doesn't catch sight of him before we can sort him out. We don't want to scare her."

Sanji nodded at Usopp's decision, but Luffy was all for finding a bucket to douse the first mate with water from the river. Robin wisely suggested that this was perhaps not the best of ideas, placating Luffy with the offer of another water fight tomorrow morning if they hadn't moved on by then.

Guiding them to where he had been led by Mrs Fellows, Sanji and the others were greeted to the courtyard by the sound of laughter and clattering hooves. Rounding the corner they came upon the sight of the young girl sitting on the reindeer doctor, who was galloping around joyfully, talking and joking with Helen as she held onto his antlers. Spotting the assembly of animals approaching Chopper transformed into his yeti-like form, giving Helen a piggy-back as he made his way over, waving to his friends.

"Hello everyone! Oh, wait, where's Zoro?"

Usopp did a mime of sleep, flopping on Sanji's back emitting squeaky snores, to Helen's great amusement.

"Are these your friends, Chopper-aniki?" She asked, looking around his pink hat at them, climbing up to see better by sitting on his shoulders, as he blushed at being referred to so affectionately.

"Uh, yes, these are my Nakama," he said, with an undeniable tone of pride in his voice. He introduced them in turn; "Luffy is our captain, you might have heard of him," the monkey scrambled up to the girl, perching on top of her glossy brunette curls. She shook his tail as he offered it to her, his hands being occupied with playing with her ringlets. "That's Usopp, he's our sniper," the stoat chattered incoherently, though the other Strawhats understood he was proclaiming that he was, in fact, _Captain _Usopp, and had 8000 followers, of course. "Robin is our ship's historian and architect, and the big horse is Sanji, our cook, I think you've already met him."

Dismounting Chopper's shoulders to bend down and stroke Robin, Helen beamed up at Sanji.

"Oh yeah, the blonde horse-san," she giggled, "you don't look like any horse I've ever seen, but you're very pretty."

Sanji found it hard not to reprimand his crew with his feet as they fell into bouts of raucous laughter at her announcement of him being 'pretty', but took it as well as he could, bowing genially to her with his head. He made a pleasant series of whinnies, which Chopper translated as; "Not as pretty as you. Thanks for looking after our navigator, is she well?"

The others looked to the young girl as she twisted the hem of her skirt apprehensively.

"Well, mother is looking after her at the moment… she seems to be okay, but she still won't wake up…"

They were quiet for a little while; although Nami was safe and being cared for, it was still disconcerting to have her unconscious, especially in her present state. The momentary reverie was broken by a sharp intake of breath by Helen however, as she pointed into the field behind them with wide eyes.

"Is that another of your friends?"

Looking over his shoulder Sanji's ears went flat in aggravation, as the grey four-legged figure could be seen heading in entirely the wrong direction.

"Zoro…" he snorted brashly, turning to Chopper, "he's still a mess. Look, I'll go and try to persuade him to get washed before he scares Helen by accident. You guys have fun for a while, I'll be back soon."

The black steed cantered back up into the greenery behind them, as Chopper suggested that they should go and check on Nami. Turning to go and visit the magpie and her ward, Luffy and Usopp lingered for a while, watching the wolf and horse exchanging what looked like a highly unfriendly conversation. Even from their distance they could hear them, snorting and growling, Zoro with his hackles raised and teeth bared, Sanji tapping his hind legs impatiently. Twitching his nose anxiously the marksman looked sideways at the yellow-capped monkey next to him.

"D-do you think we should… g-go and help?" He swallowed nervously.

Luffy grinned in a devil-may care way, "Nah, they always fight like this, it'll be fine. Besides," he laughed cheerfully, "you'd probably get trampled to death!"

"Oh, r-right, th-that's a good point… b-better stay here then, hm? We should get after Chopper right away…" The stoat hastily scampered away in the direction the doctor had taken, as the captain looked back at the arguing ship-mates for moment, before bounding after him in a care-free way.

* * *

A few minutes later the crew were gathered in the kitchen, mostly seated on the surface of a large oaken table. They had visited Nami, but Luffy had been causing such a ruckus that he was threatening to cause too much damage, so a change in location had been suggested by an exasperated Lily, and accepted gratefully by the crew. Chopper was currently discussing matters with Lily, while Luffy amused himself by spinning around in a colander and playing hide and seek with Usopp in amongst the pots and pans. Robin had commandeered a book of local history and was nosing through the pages, turning the papers with her paws and tail as if it was perfectly natural. Helen was still wondering at the spectacle of a cat reading, when the sound of hooves on the path outside the window caught her attention. 

"Sanji-aniki!"

Sure enough the long black face nodded amiably as he leant in at the window, but despite his greeting it was obvious he was in an extremely bitter mood after his encounter with Zoro, his ears twitching this way and that distractedly; if ever a horse had pulled an expression of annoyance, Sanji did then. Sensing that he was dissatisfied, Helen walked over to him and stroked his muzzle comfortingly.

"Are you okay, aniki? Where's your other doggy friend?"

Usopp gave a snort (or rather, a squeak) of laughter at Zoro being described as a 'doggy', but listening to the cook's explanation he held his tongue, as Chopper interpreted for the humans.

"He's being exceptionally unreasonable; you know how he is, grumpy old marimo, but he's even worse than usual! Really, I mean, just, absolutely unnecessary! Eurgh! I can't even begin to describe it. Anyway, I told him to go and clean himself off; was going to show him the way, but he said he could find it himself. Said one or two other things I won't mention either," he cast an eye at the small girl who was fondling his velvety ears carefully, "Of all the stubborn, irrational, stroppy, ill-mannered…"

"Uh, yes, well, anyway…" Lily prevented the tirade from continuing for too long, the subject obviously going down hill rapidly. "Don't worry; I'm sure he'll manage to find it."

Looks were exchanged between the Strawhats, though nobody said anything. Sighing a little, Sanji gave Helen a gentle nuzzle of thanks and then turned around back into the courtyard, feet falling heavily as he moved away. Chopper called after him, a little confused.

"H-hey, Sanji? Where are you going?"

"Oh, he's going to see Nami; that's why I left the window open in the surgery."

The others looked at Helen in surprise at her deduction. Lily, too, regarded her with curiosity, as she asked her daughter to verify her suspicions.

"But, darling, how do you know?"

"She's right you know," Chopper translated as Luffy leaned outside, looking after the black horse, which had indeed gone to rest his chin on the lintel of the window, looking into the shack despondently. Helen merely shrugged as if it was obvious.

"Well, he's very compassionate, isn't he? Besides," she leaned over to Luffy to whisper in that audible fashion that children so love to gossip in, "I think he might be in _love_ with her!"

The pirates looked at her with even more astonishment, Chopper laughing as he admitted their thoughts.

"Well, yes, I suppose he is rather love-sick… but, really, how did you…?"

Helen sat on the table next to Robin, stroking the cat as she continued to lecture them as if it were as clear as glass.

"Don't be silly, it's really easy to see. Anyway, if he wasn't the kindly sort, why would he turn into a horse? You said the magician told you that the machine would change you into animals that represent you, didn't you, Chopper-aniki?" She pointed to the captain, who was hanging from his tail off the coat pegs near the door, "Monkey's are cheeky and funny and like to explore, and they're really brave considering how small they are. Stoats are pretty clever at getting away from trouble, and they can be plucky if they're in a pinch; I've seen them face up to dogs and get away if they get cornered." Usopp stuck his nose into the air immodestly, his dashing stance somewhat ineffective in his scraggly umber form, the result being not so much striking as comedic. "Cats are very clever and observant, and shouldn't underestimated even if they're quiet sometimes, and they can be pretty independent; I knew a cat that moved from one owner to the next along a whole street of houses!" There was a slight twitch of Robin's tail, but otherwise her eyes stayed on the pages before her, as she continued to read. "Magpies love shiny things and they're really smart. You can even teach magpies to _talk_ if you know how to! They're a bit susceptible to being too greedy though… Reindeers are very affectionate and good-natured, they really like being around others; they always act as a herd, so being with allies is important to them…" Chopper ducked his head shyly in admission, as Helen drew her justification to a close, "…and horses are very strong, so they can be kind of scary if you upset them, but they're very sweet and caring and gentle. They're very intelligent animals too. So, it figures that he's that sort of guy… anyway, he acts like the loving sort."

She played with the edge of her skirt innocently as they looked at her in amazement. Lily came too from her slightly dazed state at her daughter's abilities of judgement as the kettle came to the boil besides her, the shrill whistling causing her to jump. Busying herself with making the tea she talked over her shoulder as casually as she could.

"Er, sweety… could you just go and fetch me the sugar? I think I left it in the parlour…"

Helen bobbed her head and skipped off down the corridor, mahogany curls bouncing along as five sets of eyes followed her. Lily leant against the work surface with a rose-pink blush on her flustered face.

"Well, I'm… I'm sorry for her saying such things, especially suggesting that your magpie… I mean, er, Nami…"

"But, she was right, about _all_ of us!" Chopper reassured her, the others nodding in agreement.

Lily considered this incredulously, but on seeing their sincerity put a hand to her hip with a rueful smile.

"Well, perhaps my girl's more of a psychologist than a vet, after all!"

* * *

There _will_ be much more actual interest in the next chapter, really! I swear! But scene setting and familiarisation is pretty important stuff I find, besides, I wanted to be able to explain my choices of animals a little better. Thankyou for all your kind comments! It really means a lot to me! 


	6. Something fishy going on

...And with no further ado, the next chapter! Short and snappy this time, with hopefully a few interesting bits of information for you to digest... thanks to everyone who has reviewed, and a big shout out to everyone who's been so supportive on my DeviantArt account! (Yes, you know who you are!)

I really shouldn't have to tell you that I don't own One Piece, but just in case Oda-sensei decides to come and kick my ass I guess I ought to keep mentioning it.

* * *

The day passed uneventfully to three in the afternoon, which was precisely what was causing the large black horse pacing the yard to be so agitated; it had been entirely void of the event of Zoro's return. 

_Stupid marimo's probably gone and got lost again, the idiot… he couldn't find his way out of a paper bag! _Nami's state being the same as two hours previously was not helping his increasing anxiety and irritability. His bad temper had been growing gradually but noticeably, and, although he was doing his best to refrain from snapping at people, the others had become aware, tactfully going off to play with Helen in the field, leaving him alone to monitor the magpie. He couldn't understand why he was feeling so tetchy; it was as if there was constant, niggling itch that he couldn't scratch somewhere inside his chest. Admittedly he could be somewhat tempestuous at times, but really he was an easy-going sort, and although he was never one to turn down a good scrap he tried to avoid unnecessary confrontations if he could. _Unlike that overly-aggressive shitty swordsman… where there hell has he got to?_

Lily watched him with a soft smile but a furrowed brow, as he walked back and forth past the window. Looking down at the still unconscious bird on the table in front of her, she couldn't help feeling once more the regret and pang of pain the settled uneasily in her heart at times like this; if only her husband had been here. She was sure he would have been able to speed her recovery tenfold, and these animals… no, these _people_... she was sure they were some of the nicest individuals she had ever met. Who would have supposed that they were pirates? Especially having that Luffy for a captain! Helen was her greatest treasure, and yet here she was, surprised to find she had no worries about her in the hands of a band of infamous buccaneers! Roger would have loved to have met them… Again the sadness came to her face, remembering how fond he had been of adventuring, even when they had been childhood friends in the same village; always getting into scrapes and such, wandering too far down the coast and getting caught by the tide, falling out of trees, fishing trips that lasted until after dark… A glistening tear fell onto the monochrome plumage before she realised she was crying. Reaching for a tissue the memories, the horrible memories, started to seep into her mind after having been kept away for so long. Why had he gone out that day? Foolish man, looking for a cure for something so dangerous to humans... of course, if he'd known that the neighbour's dog was rabid for sure, perhaps he wouldn't have gone… But no, no; he would have gone anyway, that madman. Always trying to help and heal, regardless of the cost. Wiping her eyes she suddenly gave a small exclamation of pain; she had mistaken an antiseptic wipe for a tissue, the cleansing alcohol stinging her eyes sharply. Stumbling blindly to the small sink in the corner she felt the cold, refreshing water clear her sight, taking the tears away along with the pain. Crying was no use to anyone, least of all to herself and Helen... yes, Helen, she had to be strong for Helen. Muffling her face in the thin-worn towel she sniffed deeply, sighing into the material heavily before looking back at the work surface, jumping slightly at the appearance of a long black face at the window, looking at her with gentle but obvious concern from under the glossy blonde mane.

"O-oh! Hello, Sanji! Just having a wash... I was, er, just going to…"

The ears twitched, as he looked at her as if to say 'oh, come on now, be honest.' She sighed in a confessing way.

"It's alright dear, I'm fine... well, now I am… really, I am." She reassured him, then turned the questioning (how strange, to be questioned by a horse, without words!) onto him; "Besides, what about you? You seem a little… on edge, lately?"

Sanji avoided her eyes apologetically, but nodded in admittance. Lily considered this for a moment, then an idea occurred to her.

"Why don't you go and look for that other friend of yours, the wolf; hanging around here waited for her to wake up will just make you worse. If you have something to do you'll feel better."

Meeting up with Zoro was about as far from a cheering thought as he could have imagined, but she was right; staying here would just make him more frustrated, and he didn't want to upset Helen, or his Nakama for that matter. Giving a nod of agreement he removed his head from the window, giving Nami a last, lingering glance before trotting off in the direction of the river. _Not that I'll find him there, _he thought scornfully, hooves raising plumes of dust up from the gravelled path.

* * *

One field to the South a merry circus of tomfoolery was taking place, the laughter of the small girl mingling with the curious collection of sounds from her menagerie of pirate carers. While they played around her they continued to quiz Helen about their surroundings, Chopper acting as translator while making sure none of the more boisterous crew members did anything too unruly. As it was Luffy was behaving fairly respectably (for a monkey), blowing the seeds off a dandelion clock towards Usopp, the considerably larger-than-normal tufts of fluff chasing the stoat along the wind-blown grass as he tried to avoid them, tripping over pebbles that seemed like boulders. Helen laughed delightedly at their antics, as Robin interrogated her on the knowledge of her home. Luffy joined in, endlessly curious about the magical focus of the place. 

"So, other than the theatre, what sort of things does this island do? In terms of jobs? The tricks are awesome, but what about the rest of the place? Do you sell lots of meat?" He asked, rather hopefully. She giggled and shook her head.

"No, we used to sell a lot of fish though... but then the fish went away, so we can't sell them anymore. A lot of people seem upset about that," she added, thoughtfully, playing with a strand of grass. Robin looked at her inquiringly.

"Yes, I read that the island is, or certainly was, mainly a fishing enterprise, with the theatre as a side-buisness in tradition. The main city was founded by the income from the food markets."

Usopp looked puzzled.

"But, all of the market stalls were selling wigs and costumes; there were a few food stalls, but I can't remember seeing a fish mongerer anywhere, now that you mention it."

"I saw some fish!" They looked at the monkey questioningly. He put up his paws and mimicked a Punch and Judy show. "Don't you remember the funny puppets? Ha ha! Next time Sanji gets some fish, we should have a fish-fight!" Proceeding to thwack imaginary crewmates with invisible fish he bounced around the grass, as Robin analysed this point.

"It's true, I do remember that as being a little odd… so the island certainly _did_ have links with the fishing business; enough to leave stories about it. Helen, you said the fish 'went away'… when was that?"

"Oh, ages and AGES ago! Nearly two whole YEARS ago! I was four then." She said, proudly. To a child her age, two years was certainly a long time, but in terms of the island's history the change was recent enough to make the Strawhats suspicious.

"Helen, do you know why the fish stopped coming to your island?" Chopper asked, "Anything that might have polluted the sea, or scared them away?"

Brunette curls bobbed up and down as she nodded in confident assent.

"Mmm, you mean the Rip Tide. Mummy says you got into trouble with that, didn't you? You know," she made swooshing sound effects and waved her arms around expressively, "the fast water?"

"Ah, so that current we got stuck in is called the Rip Tide? But…" Chopper scratched his head in a perplexed fashion, "if I understand what you're saying, then the Rip Tide has only been here for two years?"

Helen nodded, blowing another dandelion clock for Luffy to chase the seeds, skipping and grabbing at the air as he tried to catch them. Usopp scurried up to the young girl, who obligingly scooped him up in her arms, tickling the two dark markings between his ears with a finger.

"What could have made such a strong current like that appear so suddenly? It certainly explains why there aren't any fish in the surrounding waters anymore… such a change in the behaviour of the sea would scare any wildlife away!"

Helen couldn't answer why, and a silent moment passed in thought as she stroked the stoat's coarse fur. Luffy bounded back, the seeds having left his interest. He jumped up to land on Usopp in her hands, the marksman giving an indignant squeak as the air was knocked from his lungs. The monkey looked up at Helen slightly indignantly.

"But there _are_ fish!"

"Luffy, she doesn't mean the puppets…"

"No! I mean real fish! I smelt them this morning while you guys were still asleep; I only got back a little before Sanji arrived to take us to the river. You big sleepyheads were too big for me to wake up so I went exploring…"

"Actually, I vaguely remember Sanji mentioning that Lily was smoking some mackerel… he was really gutted he couldn't help. Maybe that's why he's been a bit more crabby than usual; I think not having any hands is getting to him…" Chopper theorised.

"Yes, horse-aniki misses being human… and we can get fish on the island, but we have to go and buy it from the big ships; the ones that come from the other islands, the big ships with the seagulls on the sails."

All four Strawhats looked at Helen with acute attention. Robin prompted her to elaborate.

"Marine ships?"

Helen nodded blithely, playing with Luffy's tail with her small fingers.

"Mm-hmm, mummy says they're the only ships strong enough to get between the islands around here, and they're big enough to carry enough fish to sell on the market. They only come every three weeks, and the fish are more special now, so mummy has to pay more for them. Aunty Poppy doesn't like them," she scrunched her nose up, "but Aunt Poppy is stuffy and smells like cabbage. Uncle Herman's nice though… I think that's why she doesn't like them; he used to be a fisherman. Lots of the people on the island used to be fishermen, but they all had to find new jobs when the Rip Tide appeared…" She looked a little sad this time.

Usopp considering this information with some alarm; such a massive change in both the natural state of the island and the economical welfare of Jokari in only two years must have been a devastating blow for the inhabitants. After such deep roots of commerce from the fishing community, they had been forced to fall back on their only other traditional living; the theatre. The competition was even fiercer than they'd realised; when Gallee had described it he had supposed it was only the usual drama scene, but this was people fighting for a living, not just fame. As for Gallee…

"So… all of the fish you buy comes from the Navy? I expect they make a lot of money?"

Helen thought about this, as if it hadn't occurred to her before; "yes, I suppose they do. No-one else can get past the tide to the fish normally though, so people buy the fish they sell, even if it costs more than it used to, and it's not as fresh; that's why mummy smokes it as soon as she gets home."

"But… even if the Marine's ships are big, if that tide really does go all along the island, they'd still never get through it," Usopp puzzled, "I mean, the Going Merry is fairly small, true, but that current is strong enough to drag _any _ship along easily! Even the huge battleships the Navy uses!"

"And it only appeared two years ago… Helen, I don't suppose you know anything about the Marines that are based here? The men who wear the seagull emblem?"

"Well, when I went down to the city with mummy for a treat we saw this funny old moustache-ossan wearing the same seagull on a white hat, but when I asked who he was mummy didn't mention that he was a Navy man," confused looks were exchanged before Helen stated something that even Robin responded to with astonishment.

"She said he was the mayor."

* * *

Further questions were prevented from being asked however, as an increasingly loud clattering of hooves began to reach them from the path leading to the farm, mixed with frantic braying and whinnying. Curious as to the cause of such a din announcing Sanji's return, they wasted no time in running down to the homestead, reaching the courtyard simultaneous to the cook's arrival, as Lily emerged from the surgery to see what was going on. Careering around the corner of the house the huge black horse sprayed shards of stone off the gravelled floor as it came to a skidding halt near the lofty elm that stood by the gate, almost dislodging the large burden across its back. 

It was Zoro.

The grey wolf, fur oddly tinged with green, was in just as much of a mess as he had been before, but this time the dark burgundy of the dried blood was mingled with a fresher, more vibrant crimson liquid, drops of ruby settled on the tousled pelt around a wound near his left shoulder. As Sanji fully came to a stop the others ran forwards with exclamations of alarm, Lily standing back with her daughter in shock. Chopper changed to his yeti-like form immediately, questioning Sanji as he carefully lifted Zoro off his back and lay him on the floor to inspect him.

"A bullet wound, by the looks of it, fairly bad too, it's gone through the shoulder into the chest… What happened?! Where was he? Are you hurt at all?"

Talking to the horse looked to be a dangerous activity however, the same crazed look that had appeared at the opera house lighting up the one visible eye as the transformed cook breathed heavily; it was obvious he had been running for some time. He managed to get out a few words that the doctor could decipher, his crewmates staying back from him warily.

"Miles off from the river… bloody idiot… another farm, over the valley… I heard a shot, then another and a yelp… managed to get to him before they found him in some trees, must have been a livestock farm, and looking the way he does…" Comprehension fell on Chopper like a lead weight; it would be natural for any farmer to react with fear towards a wolf, especially with Zoro's gruesomely stained fur. It was typical of the swordsman to get lost, and being so headstrong it wasn't beyond him to forget his appearance; even to the extent of forgetting that he looked like a carnivorous wild dog, so it would seem.

"Eurgh! I've always told that idiot that his face is too damned fierce!" The others jumped back in alarm as Sanji reared and brayed furiously, turning in order to charge back to where he had come from. His progress was arrested by a sharp bark, however. Whipping his head around he stopped abruptly, as the wolf held up his head shakily, laboured breath coming from his snarling jaws. A series of growls and barks, interrupted by an occasional shuddering cough, was directed at the glowering stallion, which was shaking with ill-restrained anger and frustration. Hesitantly, Chopper translated.

"Don't go back… moron, they won't understand… don't… don't draw more attention to us, you stupid dartboard…"

Eyes rolling back into his head Zoro slipped away from his senses, his body falling limp. For a moment nobody dared to move, the yellow mane was quivering as breath passed to and fro heavily from Sanji's flaring nostrils.

He turned, loosing a vehement snort before walking into the field with the barn, giving the elm tree a violent kick as he passed. The immense tree splintered and fell with a colossal impact onto the path in front of the house, snapped as easily as matchstick. Lily stood agape, as Chopper and Helen lifted Zoro off the ground and began to carry him to the surgery, the doctor commenting to her as he passed, his voice comforting but serious.

"We were lucky he wasn't human then… that tree would have gone straight through the building."


	7. The paradox of friendship

Yes, you guessed it; the next chapter! Thanks again to everyone who's been so kind as to give me feedback, it's very useful, and I'm sure it'll help me to improve my style and structure.

One Piece belongs to One Piece, comprendi?

* * *

Concerning the habits of colleagues: 

Friendship is a thing that, when found and found well, is more beautiful, valuable and rare than the most sought after and treasured jewel in all of legend and lore. Being bound to another by one's affections can save a soul from despair, retrieve a man from where he has gone astray, restore the deepest wound of heart or mind. However, to demonstrate a feeling of companionship to another is a task that some find more strenuous than others, and indeed there are many ways of performing such a deed, though some may seem more obscure than others.

After all, to be a 'friend' one is not necessarily required to be 'friendly'.

Thus it was that the abject loathing that was demonstrated between two certain pirates of a certain pirate crew had created and maintained an bizarre but deep-founded friendship, of a sort. A friendship of violent fighting, heated arguments and abuse, but a friendship none-the less. What is perceived as hatred is in fact surprisingly frequently revealed to be a form of mutual affection. Even if it as much a source of confusion to the people who are in question as it is to their other friends.

* * *

Feeling life is one of the gifts of living, but, on occasion, though a person may be alive, they do not feel it. Such despondency is a sad and sorry thing to witness, and though he veiled it best as he could beneath the golden stands that fell close to it, the misery that sat so darkly in his eye spoke chapters that Sanji himself could not have spoken, even if he still had a voice in which to speak. As it was the best he could do was bray and whiny and shy, but even this he did not do as often as he had earlier that day. 

If Nami's state of unconsciousness had caused him severe uneasiness and misery before, the new development of Zoro's injury had tipped him into unbearable wretchedness.

When all your world seems to shrink, the only thing you feel able to do is to shrink with it yourself. So he stayed away, he stayed quiet, and he stayed small; for all his equine size and strength. If anybody asked he would blame the swordsman for his own recklessness, berating him furiously for his callousness and idiocy with insult and accusations, or only ask about the navigator, ignoring the topic entirely. Even so the continuing reports of Nami having still not surfaced from her unconsciousness either would send him pitching even further into his bleak melancholia. It was highly unlike the normally cheerful and garrulous cook, and the others wisely kept away as best as they could; after all, his temper had been stormy before, and provoking cyclones was not a pastime they cared to dabble in.

At the present moment a stale stillness presided over the farm that only mere hours before had been rolling with the sound of laughter and merrymaking. Usopp had tried to maintain the joviality, spouting his usual lies to try and keep Helen entertained, but it was wasted. Though they had suspected a child of such tender years would take fright at Zoro in his bloodied and injured condition, Helen had surprised them all once again, proving herself of wiser and sterner stuff. She had not so much as blanched, taking him to the surgery and refusing to leave, working alongside Chopper with remarkable skill (for, although the reindeer was indeed a marvellous doctor, his speciality was in the physiology of humans, not wolves). They worked, on and on, and continued to work until several hours had moved the Sun past it zenith, the shadows beginning to lengthen as the afternoon stole onwards.

* * *

"So…" 

It was about the tenth time Lily had said this in the same number of minutes. Making conversation with a monkey, a cat and a stoat was somewhat harder with the absence of a translator.

As absorbed in reading as she was, Robin could sense that the woman was in need of comforting. She set aside the map she was perusing and contemplated the buisness of interacting with the woman to reassure her; besides, having rifled through the few books on the history of the island that she had found she had exhausted her literary option for research. Questioning the lady might offer more revelations, as well as a distraction for her own pains. The obvious problem that presented itself was that of _how_ to go about asking her questions. Luffy was currently playing with a tumbler aimlessly, rolling it back and forth with his paws; even the captain seemed relatively dejected this afternoon.

"Luffy?"

"Hm? Oh, Robin! What? What is it?" He chattered eagerly, keen to find some diversion; being miserable was far too boring and serious for his liking. Robin smiled at him with her almond, feline eyes.

"Can you write well, Captain-san?"

Lily was brought out of the slight stupor she had sunk into by Luffy bouncing off the table and into a draw above the cabinet where she kept the dried meats. Having learnt of his partialness to the stuff she immediately supposed he was after her salami again, and went to remove him with an exasperated sigh, but he had already extracted himself from the mess of pencils and notepads she kept there with her financial documents, leaping back onto the table like a furry rubber ball.

A red crayon grasped in his right paw and a dishevelled piece of paper in the other, he was now exchanging words (or, what seemed to be words, in terms of mewing and screeching), with the cat. Understanding the situation Lily sat back down and waited patiently for Luffy to write something in a handwriting that looked more as if a mad spider had been covered in crimson pigment and been sent skittering across the page. Squinting at the mess sheattempted to decipher the writing; Luffy' paws were certainly more adept than most creatures', but were by no means a substitute for his human dexterity.

"Can you… tell… us more about Gakk… no, Galloo…? Oh! Gallee!"

Lily looked momentarily bemused, the topic being so unrelated to what had happened recently that it took her a moment to remember how the crew had become transfigured.

"Ah, of course, the marine… and the mayor. Oh, you didn't know about that before?"

She inquired, seeing Luffy and Robin prompting her to elaborate on the point, "well, it's a point of interest to most people on the island too… You see, two years ago the fishing trade of this island collapsed because of the Rip Tide appearing. We still have no idea how it happened; it's a constant source of bitterness and frustration to us, and with our leading scientists away, we can't even begin to understand it."

She ran a hand through her hair, remembering the course of events.

"That's when Gallee came to the island; we had a marine base on this island before, of course, but then they stepped up security for some reason, got interested in the region, even though we don't get many pirates around here… it was all very strange. Even before Gallee came things were started to cause a stir. Then the Tide came, and, well, we were on the verge of a complete economical disaster, not to mention a dietary calamity. People from this land have always had close connections to the sea and fishing, and without it we suffered job loss, but also our health was in great danger; we'd become accustomed to eating it so often that being deprived was a great blow, especially to the children. Then Gallee turned up at 'just the right moment', with his great ships that could sail through the tide to sell us fish…" There was a definite note of scepticism in her voice. "It was perfect timing; just as we were getting really desperate, to the extent that the mayor felt he was unfit for his job, he took the blow so personally as a failure on his part, even though it wasn't his fault… poor man, he really was a fine person. So then Gallee shows up, saves our skins… next thing we know is the mayor has retired and Gallee is running for his position with no competition! Everyone else was too busy trying to fix the community, and since he held sway over our food stock there was really no other option. He's been running this place since, at notable profit to the marines."

Robin tilted her head thoughtfully as she considered this information, then gave Luffy another series of instructions, which he scribbled down as "Where are the scientists?"

Lily had a slightly glazed look, as if she hadn't thought of this for a long time.

"It certainly was strange, and suspicious… I'm sad to say I feel we'll never really know what happened, but there was an urgent call from the navy for all scientifically qualified men and women to report to their station on Helait; an island not far from here. It seemed serious, and anyone with a Doctorate or any learning was called up by the marines based here; there was a census of the Island five years ago, so they knew who was qualified. Most people went voluntarily anyway, but I remember there were a few who were practically forced to go. They left on a ship five months before the Rip Tide appeared; whether they were destroyed by it, or simply can't return, or are still working on whatever the government needed them for, is anyone's guess."

Even Luffy thought this (or rather, what he understood of it), was highly irregular, and sat scratching his head with the tip of his tail. Robin was as unreadable as ever, merely giving a blink of her fascinating eyes, before asking Luffy to write something else. Lily scanned the red scribble handed to her.

"What do you know about Mister Maragou?"

Lily considered for a moment before replying.

"I don't, really. I don't know anything about him, but then, nobody seems to. It's unusual; people self-publicise like crazy in Jokari, but he appeared on the scene about half a year ago like a lightning bolt. I always supposed the 'mystique' was a sort of catch he had, you know, something to get himself known by, but I really don't know anything about his past or who he really is. Even my sister, who's about as keyed into the gossip-chain in the city as a telephone operator, doesn't know much. That's why there are so many rumours about him; people love to speculate when there's not a lot of solid information around."

She paused, rolling a coffee cup on its rim pensively, not noticing that Luffy was mimicking her with a thimble, his actions earning a small laugh from the archaeologist.

"I'd heard that he had an act where he could turn people into animals quite a while ago, but I thought it was just more made up stories about him… Actually, hang on; I do remember something a bit odd now… It was soon after I heard that when the marines arrested him, but they didn't say what it was for…" Robin and Luffy looked distinctly surprised at this news, but the cat put a paw down on Luffy's tail before he could interrupt with his jabbering. "They didn't hold him for long, whatever it was. Maybe someone complained at the trick, didn't want to be changed or something. I still can't quite believe he really did it to you… Heh, silly, really, I mean; you're right here in front of me, but it's still incredible. To think that you're really pirates!"

* * *

The monkey sat, a little quieter now. He put a hand up onto his head, touching the yellow marking where his precious hat had once so proudly sat. Robin considered him for a moment; there had been times when all them had doubted that Luffy was human at all, with his perverse determination and refusal to give in, his refusal to die. Boundless in optimism and resolve, sometimes it seemed as if he was unable to feel sadness, as sympathetic and passionate as he had proven himself to be time and time again with ultimate idiosyncrasy, but now, perhaps, there was a shade of melancholy present in those dark, wild eyes of his. He huffed and sat on his haunches. 

"I miss my hat."

He blew a raspberry at his circumstances.

… then again, perhaps he was as normal as usual. Robin let herself chuckle slightly.

Usopp had been sleeping on top of a sack of flour during this time, and, on seeing this, Luffy decided that his minimal attention span had strayed sufficiently from the conversation to jump onto the opposite end, sending the unfortunate stoat flying like a small scraggly comet with a powdery wake.

Robin watched them argue as she mulled over the new information. Obviously the marines must have had something to do with the Rip Tide; such a thing was so unnatural to happen so suddenly, and with the marines making a tidy profit from the fish trade and obtaining complete control of the island with Gallee as mayor (for, although the island had more than one city, Jokari was the undisputed capital, and it was doubtless that the surrounding cities had similar governing powers now), Robin found it difficult to believe they were not the cause of the mysterious current. This was a very dangerous place to be in such a vulnerable position, and she did not doubt that the World Government would be particularly interested in taking advantage if they heard of the circumstances they were in…

Lily had managed to extract Usopp from the waste bin full of old cabbage leaves and potato skins, admonishing Luffy as she went, but there was unmistakably a hint of amusement in her voice. Robin called to Luffy; she had more questions to ask. A little reluctantly he skipped back up to the pad, Lily resuming her own place as the interrogation recommenced, allowing the marksman to decide to find somewhere a little less boisterous to rest.

* * *

Leaving Luffy and Robin to continue their talk with Lily, Usopp made his way up, over and around the everyday objects of the yard in their gargantuan state, his nimble claws and lithe body following the contours of the miniature mountains and cumbersome obstacles. Every metre he could have covered with one step seemed so long, but somehow he felt as if he was moving faster than he ever had before; it was a peculiar feeling, but somehow exhilarating. Sleep now gone from his mind the sniper considered visiting the surgery to see how his Nakama were progressing, but his nose caught the scent of something strange. Still unused to his increased sensitivity in smell and sound, it took him a little while to identify it as he followed his nose, but gradually became aware that it was a mixture of salt and a faint hint of tobacco. Rounding the corner of the main house he could see who he had expected, but Sanji was definatly not faring well. His long head was set with the muzzle pushed up against the wall, an occasional twitch of his ears accompanying a heavy breath. Something wet glistened on the fur of his cheeks. 

Initially Usopp thought it might be better to leave; Sanji was touchier than usual, and he had no desire to go near the violent cook if he was in any risk of provoking sore thoughts. Starting the edge away he paused however; could the great Captain Usopp really leave a friend to wallow in his grief alone like this? He could just make out that the cook was muttering to himself… listening without moving a muscle he felt surprise steal up on him as he listened; was Sanji… really saying that? It almost sounded as if he was blaming himself for arguing with Zoro… so, did he actually like him after all? No, surely not, they fought like cat and dog… well, horse and dog at any rate. Yet they were Nakama, they'd been together for such a long time now, and they were bound to their captain with fierce loyalty. Perhaps there were stranger things than for them to be friends, for all their enmity. Halfway between leaving and staying he chewed on his lip with unfamiliar sharp teeth. Was this the action of a brave warrior of the sea? Could he call himself a man if he abandoned his companion to his misery?

Sanji's left back hoof stamped down sullenly.

Usopp decided that he could live without being able to call himself a man for one more day. Scurrying back around the corner he stopped in his tracks at an outcry of jubilation, the window of the surgery slamming open as Chopper suddenly leaned out and cried out the good news.

"Nami's awake! Everyone! Nami's back!"

Positively bursting with relief and joy the stoat prepared to run to tell Sanji, but with the clattering of heavy hooves rushing towards him he did well to jump clear, narrowly avoiding being turned into a furry pancake as the whirlwind of black and yellow swept past him. Somehow managing to catch onto the long blonde tail Usopp scrambled up onto his back, completely unnoticed by the cook in his dizzied state of desperate euphoria.

* * *

It was a jubilant reunion. 

Nami was surrounded by such a hullabaloo of calls and squeaks and cries that it sounded as if the best part of the nearest zoo had crammed into the tiny studio. Whilst Lily was attempting to peel Luffy off the ceiling, the magpie gathered her senses as her crew expressed their sheer relief, Chopper making sure they kept their distance.

"Hey, come on now guys, she still needs rest, stop crowding her so much!"

The others reluctantly gave Nami some breathing space.

"Oh, alright doctor… Luffy, get out of that kidney dish! It's supposed to be sterile!"

"Nami's awake! Nami's awake! We've got our navigator back! Yahooooo!"

"Navigator-san, how are you feeling?"

Nami gingerly moved her wing around, the drip having just been removed by Helen.

"I've been worse; I can move alright and my head feels a lot better, my lungs feel quite sore though… it's very weird having hollow bones, everything's so light! That shock went right through them; I could feel the heat all through my skeleton! Brrr!" She shivered at the unpleasant memory.

Sanji was fawning and fretting over his favourite crew-mate outrageously, stepped from side to side, anxious to be of some use.

"Oh Nami-san, I'm so relieved! Is there anything I can get you? Are you sure you shouldn't lie down for a while longer? Have y…"

"I'm fine, Sanji, just… be a little calmer, alright? Let me get my bearings."

Though the hard beak meant smiling was hardly an option, Nami couldn't help her feelings of immensely affectionate gratitude towards them all; such a reliable crew, always there for each other, always the same… even that dopey love-cook was a sight for sore eyes.

Asking as to where Zoro was there was a momentary silence of unease, during which the sound of an interrupted snore punctuated the room, making everyone jump.

"Mmnf… what? Is it time to wake up already?"

Incredulous eyes turned to see the wolf reluctantly rolling his head to face them, utterly disgruntled at being disturbed.

"Urgh, I feel like crap."

Lily was astonished; he had only been out for three hours, the removal of the bullet and Chopper's deft job of stitching him back up having only taken a matter of minutes despite the hazardous nature of the task. Such a rate of recovery was unprecedented after an injury like that, even with the reindeer's marvellous medical skills. Luffy didn't seem all that surprised however, and treated Zoro as usual, jumping down off the ceiling light to land on his tail with a screeching outburst of elation.

"OW! I told you not to _do_ that!"

"Ah, you're no fun, awake or asleep! Look; Nami's up! Isn't that awesome? Oh!" Luffy laughed in his chattering enthusiasm, "and so are you! We're all together again, great! We can set sail again soon!"

"I think you might have forgotten a slight detail, captain." Robin pointed out, the tip of her tail flicking back and forth slowly. The monkey considered this for a while, then nodded determinedly and punched his palm with a fist resolutely.

"You're right; we need to stock up on meat first!"

A rueful sigh of familiarity at the captain's thought processes was emitted from the crew, followed by a friendly bout of laughter. However, as the laughs eased away, Sanji couldn't help catching Zoro's eye, the others noticed too.

There was a slight pause in the merriment as an awkward moment passed.

Eventually the blonde horse gave a cavalier nod of acknowledgement towards the wolf, asking in as half-hearted a manner as he could manage.

"Alright, shitty-swordsman?"

Zoro just grunted impudently and turned his face back to lying on the sheets.

"Better than you'll ever be, dartboard."

Sanji gave a derisory snort, but Robin noted that his ears were not lying flat despite his sneering, a subtle smile curling around her face.

* * *

Chopper fussed, badgered and bothered them until they at last unwillingly left the two to continue their recovery, but Nami requested that Robin stay and inform her of the situation before she went to sleep. 

The Sun had already begun to set as they left the surgery; they had talked and joked and generally spent the afternoon performing their usual rites of conversation to comfort the patients before they had left, and, as they made their way back up to the barn for the night, there was a general air of liberation from the concern that had held them sway for so long. Still, their problems were not over, as Usopp continued to attempt to remind their impulsive leader, who was paying more attention to chasing Mayflies than to contemplating how to find a solution to their predicament.

Sanji was the last to enter the large steel-walled building. Turning to look at the blazing orange of the horizon he paused a moment in thought. He was… confused. Relieved, most assuredly, and yet… it was still there, that itching, burning sensation of discomfort. What was wrong with him? Nami was okay, and even that idiot marimo had managed to stay alive this time, so what was the problem? Missing his hands was playing on his nerves, it was true, and the possibility of being stuck like this for some time, if not indefinitely, was disconcerting to say the least, but he was positive that wasn't the cause of this feeling... Utterly bewildered and annoyed at this continuing sensation of unprovoked irritability, the cook gently pushed the doors shut with his hind leg, as he tried to shut out the peppering frustration that seemed to circulate with his every heartbeat. Shaking his head to rid himself of his troubles he eased himself to the ground where his Nakama were similarly casting themselves to face the onslaught of dreams the night would bring after such a long and stressful day. Yes, dreaming…sleep, that was what he needed, surely. He breathed away a ticklish strand of hay and flicked Luffy off his head before settling down, letting his drowsiness carry him off into the dark velvet glades of his slumber.

He was sure he'd feel better in the morning.

* * *

Poor Sanji, coming down with a bad case of 'angst'... or is it something else? Things should move quicker in the next chapter, but I don't know when I'll be able to write it; fairly busy at University at the moment with deadlines and other joyful things of a similar nature... XP 


	8. A matter of time

Yes, you guessed it; the latest installment in the tumult of this transfiguration themed tale! Appologies for not having posted for such a long time, but things have been more than a little frantic of late. Speaking of frantic, the pacing and order of this and the following chapters is going to be a bit more pell-mell, but it's meant to reflect and enhance the events that are being related, so bear with my artistic liscence and confusing tendancies in structure and timescale.

One Piece is not mine, and I sorely doubt it will ever be, no matter how awesome and generous Eiichiro Oda is in his ingenuity.

* * *

Shivering. 

It felt as if his skin was trying to shake his whole body out, or perhaps that his body was trying to escape from his skin by vibrating countless times a second; either way the sensation was highly unpleasant, and was getting worse by the second. There wasn't exactly much opportunity to worry about that however, as the present situation was being singularly unyielding in allowing much spare thought; what with the considerable drop to the left of what little purchase he had of a narrow section of floor, the impending swarm of marines around the corner to his right, having to maintain the small barrier that was holding them off by holding one lever hard against the floor with one leg and operating a makeshift pulley system with another, not to mention that some sort of viscous fluid was taking opportunity of his inability to move by steadily dripping onto his head, and was currently threatening to trickle directly into his eye in its treacly obstinacy.

Oh, and he was still a horse.

Life, on the whole, had been sweeter for the cook of the Strawhat pirates. As for the other members of the crew, their own position, though being perhaps marginally more comfortable, was certainly far from being as agreeable as they might have desired. Perhaps for the first time since their transformation the full extent of their reduction in size was being realised, and causing them difficulties, the like of which even Nami had not anticipated.

Indeed, anticipation had been a very key factor in the well-laid plans that had been formulated since the arrival of the local newspaper that morning, as they had been awoken from their slumber in the barn by a rather frantic looking Lily, waving the morning's newspaper aloft her head like some flag of ill omen. Unfortunatly, even the best laid plans are not adverse from going astray...

* * *

The time is a little past eight in the morning, and, perhaps with the exception of Luffy, who was more concerned about whether they were going to have breakfast or not, all attention is focused on the statement which has just been declared by Mrs Fellows. 

"He's_ leaving?!_"

Lily nodded with helpless assent at the doctor's disbelieving exclamation. She began to read out the excerpt as they gathered around the hay bale she had seated herself on, after having run full pelt up to their sleeping quarters on the arrival of the news.

"A Final Curtain? Stage-star of the moment to leave city in unforeseen move, exit left: The Marvellous Mister Maragou, who has swept the performance scene off its feet for many months now, winning the respect and the hearts of Hallaver with his astounding feats of magic and mystery, announced his migration last night as a new twist to the Strawhat's saga unfurls. Mister Maragou insists that the move has nothing to do with the incident at the recently demolished Opera house and is due to a job offer overseas, although there is much speculation against this claim after the dramatic turn his Saturday night performance took. Marine Lieutenant and Mayor of Hallaver, Gallee Yuri still chooses to remain silent and refuses to make a statement regarding the incident, though eyewitnesses clearly state that the magician and the marine were at odds with each other before the crowd was forced to leave the auditorium. Rumours that Maragou was, in fact, in league with Gallee have been set aflame once again by his sudden announcement of departure, as the only transport available that can pass the Rip Tide is the next marine battleship, the_ Ivory Dart, _set to travel to Girgharo at high tide tonight. Permission to obtain passage is extremely rare, as anyone who has sought to leave the island will already know, but is this a show of generosity, or a forced exit to remove Maragou from the picture? Certainly, with such a command of the public's entertainment scene and ever-increasing popularity and intrigue following his reputation, it is a strange move to leave so abruptly. A publicity stunt perhaps? With the circumstances as they are, scepticism and confusion is running high amidst both the critics and admirers, and with information as scarce as usual concerning Mister Maragou's motives, it is all _the Renegade_ can do to supply its readers with the little we have. If you have any information or opinions on this or other news items, please write to…" and the rest is bluff, comments and barely concealed advertising I'm afraid." Lily placed the newspaper in front of them with a discontented sigh. "Even the main facts are pretty fuzzy, but one thing is made clear; Mr Maragou isn't sticking around to sign any autographs, whether he'd like to or not."

Luffy pulled faces at the out-of-focus picture of the Lieutenant as Chopper looked at Lily inquiringly.

"So… you think he might not want to leave?"

She shrugged and pushed a rogue hair back into place behind her ear, "it just strikes me as a very odd move to make. Even though he keeps everything about him a secret, he does so effectively; he's a natural philanthropist, a self-publicist- he draws attention to himself by subtle means, and once he's got the spotlight he can hold it like no other performer that's ever come to this island. Most performers are one-shots here, a flickering candle that's brilliant for as long as their act is novel, and then it's dead and done with, chewed up in the teeth of the vaudeville machine of Hallaver. Showbiz is a very fickle business, but somehow he's managed to be number one in terms of public interest for months now! Why would he want to throw it away like that?"

"Perhaps he got sick of it all," Usopp mused, Chopper translating as the stoat chewed a claw pensively, "He might not have been prepared for all the glitz and glamour, maybe he got tired of the fame? There was a pirate captain we met quite a while back who felt like that…"

Lily shook her head, "no, he's not that sort. He loves the attention, you can just tell; he doesn't even get paid that much, this island is a lot poorer than it seems, due to the economy being almost destroyed by the Rip Tide. He does it for the admiration, for the sheer love of being on the stage as the centre of attention and having the power of captivating the audience, I'm sure. You said yourselves that he was a wonderful act."

"Yes… but just how much was he acting? If he's as good an actor as he is a magician, what difference would it make to act a part for six months? Build up a persona, whilst secretly working for the marines, for a much bigger pay-check than the one he receives from the box office?"

Nami strutted too and fro as she thought out loud. The magpie has greatly recovered from her ordeal, and her mind had been ticking overtime ever since Robin had filled her in with the details of the situation. When it came to strategy, Nami wasn't just good at navigating the weather.

"Whatever his feelings towards leaving are, there's one thing that's certain; we can't afford for him to get on that boat, at least not before he's changed us back."

"It's not going to be easy for you to get back to the city without being seen though; if you're spotted the navy will doubtless try to capture and stop you from getting to him. It's worse because you'll have to move in broad daylight if you want to get there in good time…" Lily rested her chin in her hand despondently.

"Huh? But it says here that the boat leaves at high tide tonight…?" Chopper pointed a cloven hoof at the front page.

Nami gave a chirruping semi-laugh; "Sorry, but I really don't think that the information here is going to be all that reliable. The paper will have printed what they've been allowed to know to make as much of a story out of it as they can, but if I've learnt anything about Gallee, that boat won't leave at high tide, it'll be sooner than that, by a good couple of hours. I'd be surprised if it's even going to be the _Ivory Dart_; giving us the name of the ship? That has 'red herring' written all over it." Lily nodded sadly in agreement at the truth of the navigator's deduction.

"So… why don't you do what the marines wouldn't expect? Don't hide."

All eyes turned to Helen, who had entered the barn so quietly none of them had even noticed her. Sceptical of there being any sense to this suggestion, Usopp waved her idea down before she could elaborate, nose in the air.

"Doing what the enemy doesn't expect is a good move usually, but in this case if we just waltz down there with a brass band playing to announce our arrival, this'll all be over before you can say 'handcuffs'."

"Oh, you're always so negative! Don't take any notice of him Helen," Nami encouraged the girl, giving the stoat a sharp peck on the tail whilst she did so, "why do you think it might work?"

Helen joined her mother sitting on the hay bale and played with the hem of her skirt in that manner she was so fond of.

"Well, the marines are supposed to be the good guys, but everyone thinks they're the bad guys, so you guys are the good guys now, even if you're pirates. They liked you before anyway because you're exciting, and the people in Jokari love to talk about exciting things; most of them are bored as well as cross because they can't leave the island. People don't stick up for bad guys like Gallee, but they'd help you, I know they would. I'm sure they all agree that you need to see Mr Maragou before he leaves, and I bet a lot of people don't want him to leave anyway. There are lots more people who like you than there are marines, and some of the grown-ups around here are fairly clever, as well as kind. I'm sure they'd want to get back at the marines for all the trouble about the fish too… so, it might work if you got them to help you, but then, I'm sure you'll think of another way…"

Nami looked at the girl with ever-increasing fondness and respect.

"Helen, if I had arms right now I would give you such a hug your head would come off. Guys, I think this just might be our best hope. Lily," she turned to the neatly dressed woman who was removing Luffy from Helen's dark brown ringlettes for the umpteenth time, "didn't you mention that you had a sister in the city…?"

* * *

So it was that a letter, attached to Nami's leg as she acted out the part of a carrier-magpie, had been flown to Helen's aunt, and soon the grape-vine of gossip that was already blooming at an astonishing rate through the town bore new and fragrant fruits of information. Nods were exchanged, silent agreements made and a plot devised as the news of the Strawhat's immanent return flew from mouth to mouth like a whispered river of fire. The white uniformed men patrolling the streets were utterly oblivious to the change of tune in the usual rumours that flitted to and fro between neighbours and friends, but in little over an hour almost every citizen was waiting with gleeful anticipation for the premeditated madness to begin.

* * *

As this virus of hearsay spread around the households of the cream-coloured houses, back in the barn details were being explored and possible ideas examined. Having returned as hastily as her wings would allow, Nami estimated that it would take them about an hour and a half on foot to get to the city, spreading the weight of herself, Luffy, Usopp and Robin (as well as some other supplies), between Sanji, Zoro and Chopper, allowing them to travel at a pace that would not exhaust them (especially considering Nami and Zoro's present condition) before reaching their destination. 

"So, the next thing is, where will we find our mysterious magician? If the marines are trying to keep up their appearance of indifference it's unlikely for him to be at the marine headquarters… Do you know if he has a flat or an office?"

Lily shook her head.

"Like I said, no-one knows anything about him. The only time people see him is when he's on the stage, and without that mask on he could be anybody, any regular Joe on the street. If he's going incognito it'll be impossible to tell who and where he is."

"Hmm, that does present us with a problem…" Robin purred happily, earning a quizzical look from Lily.

"Oh… come _oooon! _Let's forget that for now, we'll worry about that when we get into town! We know what we're doing when we find him, that's all that matters! Let's go let's go!" Luffy bounced up and down impatiently around their feet, until a grey-green paw held his tail in place: even so the fidgeting creature set about springing back and forth like a rubber ball on a string.

"Luffy, if we can't find him, then it doesn't matter if we know what to do about him. We need to have at least _some_ idea of what he looks like, or at least where he's most likely to be. We can't just run around all over the city and hope to run into him wearing his performance get-up; we'd just get tired out, and that would make it easier for the marines to catch us. We're only going to have so long to pull this off, even with the help we're getting from Lily's sister and her friends."

"Zoro's right Luffy, we can't waste this opportunity; it's the only one we're going to get."

There was a thoughtful silence for some seconds as they all considered the obstruction to their plans.

Chopper looked at the dust motes dancing in the sunlight in front of him, seeing nothing but a blank wall. It seemed as if they'd run into a dead-end before they'd even begun. Sighing, his brain grasping in vain at the very palest of ideas in the hopes of seeing an answer, his eyes wandered to a shadow lying across the ashen-yellow colour of the straw bedding on the ground. Initially he thought it must have been a heat haze making the silhouette quiver, but then it struck him that the hour was such that the heat of the Sun had not yet sufficiently warmed the air to create such an illusion; indeed, it was somewhat cooler than the day before, with a few cotton-wool clouds peppering the steely light blue of the morning sky. Following the shadow to its source he was surprised to see that Sanji was breathing heavily with half-closed eyes, occasionally shuddering, his fur flicking as if he was trying to shake off some invisible fly. Alarmed at these sudden symptoms of influenza, or worse, Chopper made no hesitation in going over and giving him a brisk inspection, much to the other's surprise, as they had similarly relapsed into a stupor of futility over the conundrum of Maragou's whereabouts. Robin looked up as Chopper moved over to the cook with mild confusion.

"Doctor-san?"

"Chopper? What's up?"

Sanji had only noticed the small reindeer's approach when the cold metal of the stethoscope he habitually wore around his neck was placed against his fur, causing him to jolt out of his daze. Lying down as he was he awkwardly tried to scramble away from the doctor, his long limbs trapped underneath his heavy body.

"Oi oi, Chopper! Gerroff, that's thing's cold! Hey!"

"Sanji please hold still, you were showing signs of a fever… see? You're sweating!"

Sanji finally managed to untangle his legs to stand up and edge backwards, laughing haphazardly as he tried to prove he was as healthy as always.

"Me? Oh no… I'm sure that's just dew, you know; condensation. It gets cold at night so it probably settled on me as I was sleeping…"

"Then why aren't we wet too?" Zoro interjected. "Just stop ducking about like you're going to the dentist and let him have a look, blondey…"

"Oh knock it off grass-head, like you know anything about tolerating treatment! Honestly Chopper, I'm fine. Look, if I had a fever I would have told you, but I'm fine! Really!"

"If you're fine then you won't mind him having a quick check then, will you, Cook-san?"

Robin's infallible logic stemmed all argument, as Sanji really couldn't think of anything to say, especially since it would require contradicting Robin. Reluctantly he let Chopper scamper around, checking his temperature and pulse amongst other things.

"Well? What's up with him?"

"It's because he hasn't been eating any meat, I knew that was a bad idea!"

"Baka! He's a horse now! Who ever heard of a horse that ate meat?! If anything that'd make him worse!"

"Chopper? Is there something wrong with him?"

Withdrawing the stethoscope from his ears Chopper scratched behind one of his antlers thoughtfully.

"His heart rate is much higher than usual, rapid, random muscle spasms, perspiration but without a high temperature, and his pupils seem to be dilating and constricting involuntarily… it could be any number of things, but I can't run a proper diagnostic with him in this form; it hasn't affected any of you others very much, but such a drastic alteration in physiology must have radically affected the metabolism and distribution of hormones in your bodies…"

"Ah, so, it's a mystery illness?"

Luffy received a friendly clout around the ears from Zoro's tail.

"Actually, in a manner of speaking I guess it is," Luffy stuck his tongue out at the first mate as the medic continued, "…what's certain is that I won't be able to tell what's really wrong until he's back to normal. It's even more crucial to get you all changed back as fast as possible now- it might just be that because his transformation was more extreme than your's, but…"

"Hang on a second, you're saying that _this_ isn't an extreme change?!" Usopp indicated his miniscule stature indignantly. "And what about Nami?! She's a bird for crying out loud! If that doesn't count as a dire change I don't know what does."

"Yes, that is a valid point," Chopper confessed, as the others looked at him for an explanation, "but the thing is I suspect that, because all of you have been reduced in size, that there wasn't too much exertion on your overall state of homeostasis during the change and afterwards… er, that is, maintaining the internal balance of your body, like how much sugar is in you blood, for example…" He attempted to clarify, but from Luffy's entirely fake expression of sincere understanding he deduced that any form of explanation was guaranteed to be lost on him. He continued to elucidate for the others.

"Anyway, what I think might be the problem is that, because Sanji had to _increase_ his mass considerably during the change, there was a sudden, massive increase in the conversion of the energy stored in his body to physical substance; i.e. after such an immense exertion his body is suffering from the aftermath; not only from a huge swing too and fro in terms of respiration rate, but also from having literally exhausted itself from such a huge amount of activity in such a small amount of time. If you consider how long it takes for a bone to heal when its broken, you might imagine how much energy it will have taken for them to grow so much bigger in so short an amount of time, not to mention all of the blood vessels, muscles, nerves... that, and the whole endocrine system will have undergone a massive alteration…"

"Okay, okay we get it!" Usopp waved down any further jargon, a paw to his head trying to stem the headache from the doctor's analysis. "His body's messed up and we need to change him back to see what the problem is, if the problem itself isn't actually being caused by him being like this, right?"

"Er… basically, sort of, yes."

"So, we need to sort this out fast. Perhaps Luffy was right after all; we need to move as quickly as possible and try to find Maragou, even if it's a wild stab in the dark. Who knows? Maybe some of the locals have an idea where he might be hiding."

"If he's trying to hide."

Nami looked at Robin inquiringly, "why do you say that? Surely he'll be trying to avoid more trouble? Keep a low profile and all that."

Robin smiled genially, twinkling with her almond eyes as she explained; "Well, he certainly would be if he's on the marine's side, and he might be trying to hide from the marines if he doesn't want to have to move, but Mister Maragou seems to be a social tactician; he wants to be everybody's favourite, his job relies on his popularity, after all."

"So…?"

"So… I think what Robin is trying to say is that… perhaps he wants to try and help us change back." Sanji took Robin's nod of assent as an encouragement to continue, "If he wants to stay on the good side of the majority of the city, which is the public, who are against the marines, then the best thing that he can do is to aid the opposing factor of the marines... namely us."

Nami nodded in comprehension, "I see, and even if he _had_ made a deal with the marines to catch us, it would a clever move to double-back and help us out of the very same predicament that he got us into in the first place, regaining his face and innocence in the public's eye. I'm beginning to suspect that Maragou isn't on anybody's side but his own."

Lily nodded and started to open the heavy barn doors to allow them to leave.

"That sounds about right, and if that's the case, then perhaps you'll find your magician with less difficulty than you initially thought. Whatever the case, the faster you get there, the better. Sorry Sanji, but you have to move pretty quickly, you too Zoro; can you manage?"

In response the equine chef simply knelt down to allow the smaller members of the crew to clamber onto his back and Zoro scratched an ear with his hind foot nonchalantly, knocking the bandage across his chest to the ground in the same movement. Looking quickly askance at Zoro, the elegant horse prepared to exit the dusty smallholding, thanking Helen and Lily with a gentle nuzzle before going to the door, Luffy giving Helen a final bounce on the head before securing himself on Zoro's neck with his tail.

"Think you can keep up with that injury, marimo-dog?"

"Feh, you might want to worry more about eating my dust all the way there, Mr Shakes."

"H-hey! Guys! Wait for me!"

So saying Chopper hastily transformed into his four-legged reindeer form, clattering off after the competitive duo, shouting farewells and thank-yous over his shoulder to the mother and daughter waving them off on their way from the opening of the amber-tinged corrugated iron building.

* * *

A few moments passed as the pair looked on at the receding figures crossing the emerald fields, momentarily pausing as the wolf was shouted after by the others for having started to run off at a tangent in entirely the wrong direction, the reindeer having to shepherd him back onto the path before they continued, growing ever smaller in Lily and Helen's sight, before finally disappearing from view over the crest of the hill. 

Helen held her mothers hand fondly in her own small fingers. They were quiet for a little while in the hush of the barn. It seemed so silent after the mayhem of the pirates; the squeaking and chirruping and barking mixed with the constant translation of Chopper, and the upbraiding calls of the other animals as Luffy managed to dismantle yet more of the farmstead's property. Looking up at her large brown eyes Helen sensed that Lily was sad. She squeezed her hand gently.

"I'll miss them too."

Lily smiled softly and looked down at the straw bedding.

"I know sweety, I know. They were good fun though, weren't they?"

Again there was a pause, but then Lily stood and brushed herself off, the two starting to walk back down to the main building; the farm wouldn't run itself. As they walked Helen ran a hand over the tops of some dandelion clocks that were growing in the field, watching the seeds float away with the wind ahead of them.

"Maybe they'll come and see us when they've changed back? Before they leave on their ship? I'd like to see it, it sounds very pretty."

"Mmm, maybe…"

"I wonder where their ship is anyway… Weasel-san said it got beached, but the high tide fills up that bit of the beach over night... I hope they dropped their anchor before they left it, or maybe the marines moved it…"

Once again Lily looked at her child with amazement at her conscientiousness; she hadn't even considered this problem, even when discussing their dramatic arrival with the pirates themselves. Momentarily worried, her face cleared as she decided to take in one of the lessons that Luffy had given her in his brief visit. She ruffled Helen's mahogany curls as they made their way down to the gravel path and past the remaining stump of the tree by the house, the sap still glistening in sticky wetness around the splintered bark.

"Don't worry, I'm sure things will turn out alright; they usually do, for good people."

* * *

As a general rule, that was indeed what had been the overall result during the Strawhat's various escapades on the seas they had travelled so far. However, on this particular day their luck seemed to be wearing hazardously thin for the extent to which they were testing it. Sanji was reminded of this rather sharply as the smooth hard hooves slipped a centimetre closer to the perilously high drop just to his left. The glutinous substance that had been gradually working its way down his face tickled irritatingly, causing him to rankle his nose in an attempt to direct it away from the course that was leading it to run past his lips. He suspected it was oil, and he had no desire to taste whatever it was to prove himself right or wrong. Concentrating on holding down the lever with his front right hoof and working the make-shift mechanism with his left, he tried to ignore the crashes of what sounded suspiciously like a battering ram attacking the barrier that was being maintained by the very same lever he was leaning on. Hoping that the construct of the device was as sound as Usopp's faith in it was, he cast a cursory glance up the shaft which the others had used to elevate away from him, up into the darkness of the upper floors. He could only guess at how they were progressing, but from how long he'd had to work the pulley system they must have been on the top floor. Just as he was wondering how long he would have to keep this up the system jerked to a halt as the small bundle he had been awaiting finally reached him. Carefully manipulating the piece of rope with his teeth he managed to swing the small parcel out onto the landing and detach it. The hammering sounds continued to batter in on his eardrums, as another bout of shaking threatened to take hold of him, sweat stinging his eyes as he felt it break out in peppering drops. Cursing this unknown plight he strove to ignore it, focusing on keeping to the plan… Their only plan, and their only chance. 

As this was happening, in the East wing of the same building the rather unlikely pairing of a wolf and a cat was making its way stealthily past the guards to another room. Eight paws thrumbed the polished floors silently as they sought out their goal amidst a maze of unfamiliar doors and walls.

Somewhere several floors above where this was happening, Lieutenant Gallee was leaning back on his lavishly stuffed leather chair sipping a brutally strong cup of coffee, smugly contemplating how everything was going according to plan. He brushed a stray smear of cream from his moustache and helped himself to a ginger snap.

Yet more floors above this, something rather interesting was happening.

"…Ah," a bell-like voice greeted the visitors pleasantly, "…I suppose you were looking for me."

* * *

It is precisely a quarter of an hour past two in the afternoon.

Previous to this time much has occurred, and will be the substance of much of the proceedings that are yet to come. It should be noted to the interest of the reader that certain as yet unrevealed events have been set in motion (which will be explained in the short future), that will prove unfortunate if they are not realised and prevented from coming to fruition. Exactly how unfortunate would the consequences be? Depending on the course of events, the following statement may, or may not, be proven to be true:

The Strawhats will die in three hours, two minutes, and forty-one seconds.


	9. Going up

Yes, I know, WHAT THE HELL with the NO UPDATING. I am truely, truely sorry and please accept my sincerest apologies with the knowledge that I am at university and am consequently swamped with work and fun of the finest calibre, not to mention the fact that I'm a lazy bum.

Please don't kill me ; Love you! Okay, you can read now.

* * *

Little things can change big things. 

This is, perhaps, not the most original of statements, but this is because it is a truth, and one that the big things sometimes wish wasn't quite so true. Seven, for example, considering the infinity of mathematical possibilities for the value of a number, is hardly a large number, but it is considered by many to hold special properties. Many believe it to be a lucky number, it is the number of stellar objects within our Solar System that are visible to the naked eye, it is the traditional number of wonders of the Ancient world, and in classical lore there are the seven sages, the seven isles of Atlantis, and the tithe that the Fairy Queen pays to hell every seven years in the tales of Tam Lin. It is a small number, and for a pirate crew it could be seen to be exceedingly inadequate in most cases. Not so for the Strawhat pirates. 

Seven is also the number of basic principles of the bushido.

One particular bushido of the green-haired (or, at present, green-furred), variety, had been having a little difficulty exercising the third of these principles, as 'benevolence' didn't easily come to someone of his persona when he had just been received as a giant plush toy by the six children inhabiting the household of their benefactor's contact within the city of Hallaver.

They had travelled as swiftly as able, occasionally pausing with the excuse of giving Nami a chance to rest herself (she insisted on flying in order to show them the most direct route, and to avoid Zoro wandering astray too often), but quietly all secretly acknowledged that the 'marimo-dog', as Sanji so persistently called him, could hardly have been making braver progress considering his injury. The 'love-cook' too had been encountering some problems, the shivering kicking in once or twice along the road, though not badly enough to impede their progress. The others riding him could tell that the fits were becoming more frequent, and lasting for longer periods of time, though again, as with Zoro, they said nothing.

Arriving outside of the perimeters of the city Nami bade them stay behind the last piece of greenery before the open stretch of grass leading to the sand-coloured buildings. Despite some complaints from the ever vivacious Luffy, who would surely have set off across the stretch of open ground without a moment's hesitation if Zoro hadn't pinned his tail to the ground for the umpteenth time during the whole escapade with a heavy paw, they complied. Nami decided to leave it to the others to sagaciously explain that it would be idiotic to make such a brazen move without alerting those who were to aid them of their presence, and there was always the chance that some citizen had favoured money over allegiance and moral outrage, and given away information to the authorities without their knowing. Luffy acceded that it was a mystery plan, and the others were happy to leave it at that.

As it happened the orange-flanked Magpie returned with the good news that they had hoped for, and so, much to Luffy's approval and delight, they commenced to charge at the southern gate with as much of a hullabaloo as they could muster from their various animalistic vocals. Matched with this was an orchestration of alarm and surprise from the various villagers that had strategically gathered near the gateway.

"Run! Animals! Wild animals!"

"The pirates! Oh we'll all be murdered! The pirates have returned!"

"Beasts!"

"Monsters!"

"Weasel!"

Even if anybody had been able to decipher Usopp's indignant proclamation that he was, in fact, a _stoat_, it is highly debatable that anybody would have been able to understand it, less still care, as the consternation and dust that was raised in that raucously chaotic moment was further increased by several hands leasing various extra birds and creatures into the melee of excited city-dwellers and bewildered marines. The confusion was magnificent. Progressing in a seemingly uncoordinated headlong rush the original troop of creatures divided, sending their advance out into the midst of the skirmish to be lost in the dust raised by excitedly dancing feet of the rowdy delegation. Arms waved marines in false directions and voices offered advice and instructions of denigration, as one by one the Strawhats were swallowed up by the twists and turns of the sand coloured alleyways, each following the fleet footed guides that had singled them out, using a band of red ribbon about their left hands to show their allegations.

* * *

Congregating a few blocks to the East of the gate, near to the remains of the former Opera house, the paths of the crew convened in a small but comfortable house, which appeared to be mostly furnished with the six children that belonged to the somewhat overbearingly welcoming sister of Lily; one Poppy Delorit, also known as 'Aunty Poppy' to Helen Fellows. Aunty Poppy consisted of a homely smile, a pleasantly rounded figure, and a fiercesomely muscular pair of arms, which were currently squeezing the life out of Usopp's unfortunate scraggly frame while Zoro was stoically coping with having a swarm of younger Delorits treating him much as ants might a particularly interesting specimen of honey-comb. Luffy, finding the whole business too hilarious for words, was entertaining notions of investing the meat supplies of the hostess, but was persuaded to delay these desires by a small but not insubstantially painful peck on the head by Nami, who was observing and occasionally guiding Chopper's dialogue with Poppy.

"Oh I _do_ hope that was good enough a distraction for you," were the words she was currently exuding with positive relish at the methodical chaos that has succeeded in their safe delivery to the current location, "Really, I wish we could have done a little bit more, one does get tired of being so stilted by those bothersome, good-for-nothing, white-uniformed…"

"Uh, yes, quite, no no you did perfectly, thank you very much," Chopper interjected, observing that Usopp was faring the worse for her righteous indignance. "Well, I suppose the next question is… what next?"

Poppy sighed as if somewhat dissatisfied, "yes, well, we have done all we could to try and locate Maragou for you," Nami noted the slight note of admiration in the name as she said it, "but, as usual, not so much as a sausage. I mean, the press has been positively raking the city for information on him ever since he appeared, and they haven't been successful at all, no interviews, no links to producers or executives, nothing! It's like trying to track smoke!"

There was slight air of defeat that swelled in the room, which was promptly dissipated by Luffy finding his way into a large vase on the fireside mantle (and, consequently, out of it again by it's swift and abruptly ending journey to the floor). Releasing Usopp to recover from his crushed ribs Poppy clucked condescendingly, extracting Luffy from the mess as he grinned ear to ear. Plucking shard of pottery out of his fur she reassured them; "None the less, we certainly know where the Marine Stronghold is, and has been for quite some time, I might add. As snooty as they are they can't quite get by alone, and a few of my friends know people on the inside- janitors and maintenance staff mostly. There's a lot of odd machinery in there; some of the scientists had to assist them making it." Interest was quelled when the good lady revealed she unfortunately knew nothing of the details of the stranger things when asked by Chopper (prompted by Robin and Nami), "but we do know that at least some of it offers you a way in, and a way around."

Depositing a ceramic-free monkey on Zoro's head she made her way across the crowded room. Extracting a set of rolled up blueprints from an umbrella stand she laid them across the floor for their investigation.

"There's an elevator shaft that runs throughout the building on the West side, see? There's a door that the staff can enter here, the main entrance here, and a latch for waste disposal and parcels here." She tapped the last area twice for emphasis, "this is your best option for moving through the building, but you'll need someone on the inside to operate the machinery."

Robin offered a few words to Chopper, who relayed them to her.

"Sorry, but, Robin says… if this layout is correct, then, the ground level is here, right?" He laid a hoof on a line that appeared to be somewhere about the middle of the building, and was rewarded with assent from Poppy, "so that means… counting the levels above and below… but, that building is…!"

"Eighteen floors, yes, and as wide as it is tall above the ground," she nodded with a countenance of displeasure, "as big and brash as the marines themselves. Perfect for hiding someone who shouldn't be found too, I'll wager- there's no guarantee that Maragou is there, but it's certainly a good place to conceal him, and I'll bet my barnet that there's someone in there who knows where he is. Anyway, I'll trust you to devise a means of speeding up that part of finding out information, what you need to focus on is this;" she pointed to a section of the paper marking a room adjacent to the mechanics of the elevator shaft, above the square marked 'control room'. Nami pondered on this for a moment, but decided to hear her out first.

"They'll expect you to go there straight off if they suspect you'll be paying them a visit (which, after our little party just now, I'd venture they do now), but we happen to have a very good set of mechanics who just happen to have set up a few contrivances that render the controls in that room useless- they've left the levers and pulleys there, but they aren't attached; the real controls are in the room above. They require a lot of strength to operate, however, due to the increased distance from the main gear system; three men to each lever, which is where you come in, my fine fellow," she added audibly through the hatch in the floor. The conference room they were currently in was situated directly above a sort of storehouse-come-garage where the family cart was stowed, a ladder and trapdoor leading up to the main living quarters, allowing Sanji a convenient place to both stand and listen. Up to now he had been listening acutely, occasionally flicking his head to disperse a sweat drop- he seemed to be suffering worse fits of perspiration along with his breathlessness and shivering now- and although they had infiltrated the city successfully his feeling of uselessness had merely been increased by talks of buildings with excessive numbers of floors. His bul was not exactly suited to indoors ventures. As of this moment, however, a small ray of hopefulness peered down on him through the hinged door.

"Me?" He offered, in a confused but moderately optimistic whinny.

Poppy nodded mischievously.

"Let me explain…"

So it had ensued that Poppy's plan had been related, and there was some agreement that she may well have missed a calling as a commander of subterfuge in another life.

* * *

It was some very perplexed guards that opened the door to a mysterious visitor who appeared to be rather… unsteady, on his feet.

"Oi oi, what's this? Drunks coming to us to be arrested now?"

"Saves us some trouble!" Laughingly the lunchtime shift greeted the heavily cloaked person at the main entrance. "So, what is it really? Kinda early for this sort of horseplay, isn't it?"

"Horseplay is about right," said an oddly high-pitched and sober voice, and in the time it took for them to be preoccupied by the fact that it had issued from the stranger's _knees_, another sort of preoccupation introduced itself in the approach of a rather large figure of more equine proportions. As the two guards made good use of their legs, the stranger split apart into four smaller figures who promptly set about opening the double doors to fully allow Sanji's entrance, closely followed by Zoro and Nami. Five minutes later the guards that had been carefully positioned around the delivery latch and staff entrance had been alerted and summoned to the entrance that had been under least suspicion, but the only remaining clue as the animal's various whereabouts was one rather decimated welcome rug and a petrified secretary.

* * *

Two levels down Sanji was cursing a bump on the head and a grazed knee- horses and stairwells had not been designed with each other in mind. Judging by the sounds of confusion from below and above however it seemed that the other groups were making a good nuisance of themselves, and the floor he was on had been marked on the map as mostly empty storage, so his chances of encountering anyone was slim. This proved to be the case, as his progress was only impeded by the occasional narrow doorway or mop-bucket. Entering the last room he noted the setup to be as he had been informed. Nervously he edged the purposely loose planking away from the hole giving onto the lift system with his teeth, mentally thanking the efficient and willing sabotage of the janitors. Chains and cogs could be made out in the dark shaft that was revealed to him. 

Turning back to the main room he looked at the various sizable levers- designed to be pressed into the floor to operate the machinery, each with a spring to reset them on release. Anxiety presented itself to him once more- he'd never been good with mecha. Poppy had explained it to him very clearly three times over to make sure he knew which was which and how they affected each other, and as there were only five to operate he tried to persuade himself that he would manage- he _had_ to. Noises from behind alerted him to the fact that the marine's suspicions had been aroused, as he heard them heading to the control room below him. Stamping down on the left-most contrivance Sanji was gratified to see the door seal itself behind him with a series of 'shunks', as several wooden poles inserted themselves into it from the side and floor, effectively making a very solid barrier, albiet a wooden one. Keeping the lever hard pressed to the ground with one back leg he swung his head around to keep an eye on the shaft. A minute passed with no interruption, then…

"There!" A red object flitted past. Laying the weight of his right foreleg on the second lever from the right there was an unhealthy grinding sound, followed by the swift clinking tattoo of chains slinking their way upwards into the black of the upper levels…

* * *

Nami nodded in satisfaction, looking down where the ribbon had just been leased from her beak.

"Looks like things are alright on the control floor for the moment at least."

"They ought to be," Usopp reassured, "I had a good look at the designs those mechanics supplied Poppy with- they sure know what they're doing!"

Nami nodded, although she was still a little anxious; there were too many things that were at stake for the plan to fall apart due to technical difficulties. Looking back over her shoulder she commented rather disapprovingly, "that took you long enough."

"Sorry Nami," Chopper wiped his brow a little abashedly, Luffy bouncing around on the unconscious heads of the dozen marines scattered about the room. Usopp waved excitedly from his perch next to the magpie, "Oi! Change back Chopper, it's nearly here! It must have only been a floor or two down. Luffy, put that hat back _now_!"

Discarding the over sized white-peaked headwear the monkey bounded over as Chopper transformed back down from his Heavy Point form. Quickly they jumped onto the small but sturdy platform that was heading upwards. As they sped past the floors Usopp and Nami carefully kept count, as Chopper attempted to prevent Luffy from getting enmeshed in the chains in his enthusiasm.

"You're sure that's what Robin said? The eighth floor?"

Nami nodded, "unless we got interference from the boiler, but that's the number she tapped. I just hope Zoro's not having too much 'fun' down there. You did fasten that parcel to send down to Sanji tight enough to the chain, right?"

* * *

Nami's trust and mistrust was well placed. Two minutes previous to this Robin had been carefully sending the information to Nami along the main water pipe, tapping out with a spoon the level that Zoro had extracted from the Managing Executive, who's office they had paid a visit to with a sheet of paper asking which floor Maragou was being held on; they had decided to risk presuming that he was somewhere in the building, and that the head of personnel would be sufficiently cowardly to tell the truth when presented with a somewhat intemperate wolf on his desk. At the current time the silent alert which had summoned the score of Marines to his assistance was being sounded again, as the first batch of supposedly fearsome soldiers had decided that a cat and a wolf were, actually, a lot more fearsome than they might have been given credit for. Robin was sitting back, having done some considerable damage herself, and now simply watched with a slight smile as her green-furred companion bayed more threats through the door which was being hastily barricaded by the retreating marines.

"Cowards."

He snorted contemptuously, falling back on his haunches amidst the ruins of the previously elaborately dressed office, the director of which had hurriedly left alongside his pale-faced comrades. The cat offered a soft smirk of amusement at his discontent. 

"Well, now what do we do?"

"Well, bushido-san, as it appears that our only exit has been blocked, nothing, for a little while."

"Don't give me that! What about the latch?"

"The platform is too far above us, and neither of us can hold onto the chain."

"Well, how about that door?"

"That's a cupboard."

"…. Okay, then what about _that_ door?"

"That's the one blocked by the marines."

"And this one?"

"That's the cupboard again."

* * *

Seven above ground.

"Okay, next one's our level, get ready to jump."

A second ribbon fell from Nami's beak, weighted with a small bead to ensure it fell straight, as they made the jump off the small platform.

Two below ground.

At the second signal Sanji let go of the lever second from the right and stood on the second from the left. As the gears changed and more sounds of operating machinery started the incensed shouts of frustration started to disappear from below him; the marines abandoning the fake controls to search for the source of the lift's operation elsewhere. Leaning a little more heavily on the lever creating the barrier behind him he anticipated that it would not take them long to locate him. Trying to suppress another onset of shivers he focused on the shaft- he hadn't noticed how fierce a drop it was from his position down the shaft, and with the planks removed as they were it wasn't unfeasible that he could break through the remaining partition if forced from behind… Something began to drip onto his face.

Six below ground.

New movements introduced themselves the to lift, and as a new wave of marines carefully prepared to re-enter the office, Robin and Zoro silently made their way through the sliding arpeture into the wall which had been uncovered, which swiftly sealed itself once more as they made their way along a new corridor (Robin subtely making sure that she was in the lead).

Four above ground.

Gallee smiled, enjoying the rich bitterness of the coffee on his tongue minging with the sweet peppery quality of the ginger snaps he was divulgently crunching, one by one.

Nine above ground.

Something hummed...

* * *

Scrambling to their feet Usopp, Chopper and Luffy watched Nami irritably pecking and flapping in futile aggravation at the close-nit wire cage that they had stumbled into from the aperture of the lift.

"Hey! What gives!" Usopp joined her, rattling the securely made box, jumping with a yelp of surprise as a metal slat came up behind them, effectively encasing them in metal and sealing off their exit.

"They knew, I should've _known _they'd know! Damn it, even if we didn't enter by the lift they guessed we'd use it to get here. Oh… bother. Luffy, is there anything you can do? Luffy?"

Luffy wasn't listening. He was looking at the person who's cell they were sharing; a fairly tall man, wearing a splendid suit and a cape that looked utterly ridiculous in the close confines of the prison, crumpled from repeated nights of sleeping on the small wooden bench he was sat on, white gloved hands pressed together at the fingertips ina contemplative fashion. 

The white mask considered them with the disinterest one observes a discarded piece of wrapping.

"…Ah…I suppose you were looking for me."

* * *

I swear by all that is fanfic related that I will update sooner than the last time, or may Luffy mistake my head for bacon.


	10. The relevancy of inquiries

Yes, Luffy can mistake me for bacon, as I have abjected FAILED to update with any more alicrity than the last time. I'm sorry, really, truely, honestly and sorely. Now please go ahead and read before you come and murder me with punctuation marks.

* * *

"Do you have the time?"

This is arguably a very odd phrase. The English language itself is a very strange phenomenon; an endlessly intricate, logical and yet randomly formed structure, an amalgamation of countless languages from across the globe, constantly changing and shifting from generation to generation, year to year, second to second. Words change, are forgotten, invented, replaced, adopted. What used to mean one thing can mean entirely the opposite within a span of time unfeasibly small for such a reversal of connotation.

Time.

Again; a word that is treated quite bizarrely within this most idiosyncratic vernacular. One may stall for time, buy time, waste time, murder time- it is chopped and changed as easily as a piece of meat for something so intangible and impossible to define. Indeed, people have argued and will doubtless argue still over what exactly time is, or will be, or was. Another bizarre and paradoxical phrase that is well known in its usage and distribution is that of; "time is running out." Obviously such a statement is impossible; for something as eternal and, according to some theorists, cyclical as time to 'run out' is simply not a factual possibility- time is never used up or made, it is (using yet another meaninglessly meaningful word), timeless. It has been well stipulated before this remark, however, that nothing is impossible, and in the current circumstances of some certain pirates this phrase may well have been put to good usage, although the extent to which it is truthful is, at present, not fully realised by these same pirates.

It might also be noted that time, along with truth, can often be largely affected by your standing point (if one wishes to be absolutely anal about it a very literal example would be Einstein's thesis on the observation of the speed of light affecting and interrelating with time with the famous train parable, but an easier and perhaps more concise explanation that another famous theorist might have put forward would be that it is a mystery effect).

* * *

Usopp's current standing point is the floor of a sturdily built wire cage, and with all of his height of thirty centimetres he was still striving valiantly to lever a gap worthy of escape between the robustly constructed strings of steel. Valiantly, but ineffectually. There was a clearing of the magician's throat, as he repeated the question.

"Excuse me. Do you have the time?"

Luffy was about to launch into a bout of accusative screeching and jabbering and generally making noises that, whilst to him and the others were clearly threats of an imminent ass-kicking, would surely have been no more comprehensible to the Marvellous Mister Maragou than somebody explaining the inner workings of a nuclear reactor would have been to Luffy. As it was Chopper was in time to reply, Nami lending a wing to pacify the irate monkey by clocking him an admirably solid thwack on the head with her beak.

"Er… no, sorry, I'm afraid we don't. Besides, that isn't really the question to be asking, is it?"

"Isn't it?" Maragou replied, in a mildly surprised, lazy fashion. "Oh." He shrugged noncommittally, as if the issue was dead, and proceeded to whistle a melancholic air to himself. Chopper regarded his odd behaviour compared to the haughty dignity he had previously displayed with mild confusion. Usopp gave up his show of unproductive effort and decided lying on his back would be a more efficient use of his energy.

"Oooooooh, this is hopeless. Damn those stupid, clever marines. Anyway, Chopper, stop wasting time! Ask him how we can change back!"

"Ah, well, you see, the answer to that may be considered something of a conundrum."

Chopper, Usopp and Nami positively jumped with alarm at his apparent comprehension of stoat-based linguistics (Luffy, of course, thought nothing odd about this, and responded duly).

"Eh? What are you wittering on about, you made us like this, so change us back already!"

"Well naturally I'm inclined to do just that, why do you think I'm in here with you?"

Still wearing the impenetrable mask as he was Nami was sure that he had raised an eyebrow along with that last statement, obviously he was leading them to continue that line of conversation, but she was not about to be deterred.

"Sorry, sorry; I can't quite take this, and seeing as we're in the clink it looks as if we have enough time to ask you what we need to in a moment. How can you understand us?!"

"Tch, and you were telling me that I was asking the wrong questions? I think a more worthwhile one would be how to get out of that cage, surely?"

Nami huffed sullenly, evidently Maragou was obstinate at taking any position other than complete control, even in discussion. Usopp, sensing a possible escape, decided that tactics were ranked above dignity in this situation.

"You can get us out? But, you haven't got a saw or anything, can you magic us out?"

There was a semi-smirk of laughter, muffled beneath the fake countenance.

"You really think that if I could do that, I'd still be in here?" Leaning back against the wall Nami fancied he had closed his eyes behind the pitch black holes as he crossed his arms nonchalantly behind his neck, her opinion of him sinking lower with every derisive mannerism and word, his voice now seeming more sneering than mellifluous.

"Tell me, have you ever heard the story about the Gordian Knot?"

"Excuse me?"

"The Gordian knot," he drawled with disinterest at their bemusement. "It was supposed to be impossible to undo, and whoever managed to undo it would become the ruler of the kingdom. Needless to say many people tried, and failed, but then a man called Alexander came. Now, the knot was supposedly impossible to untie because you could not find the ends to the rope…"

"So, what did he do?" Asked Chopper, who was apparently the only one who was really listening, Nami simply looking at what seemed to her the somewhat unhinged magician blankly and derisively, Usopp being occupied with attempting to keep Luffy from biting the metal cage.

"He cut it with his sword. It was such a blindly obvious thing to do that no-one had thought of it. It's called lateral thinking my dear, uh, reindeer, wasn't it, you said? A sorely unpractised art. Now, is there anything blindingly obvious to do in this situation that you can think of?" The mask tilted down to look at him coolly. "Something _you_ could do, namely?"

The doctor flustered and hid beneath his hat. _Me? What can I do? I haven't got a sword or wire cutters or anything like that… we're too small to do anythi…_

He nearly fell over with embarrassment at how staggeringly obvious the solution was.

"Guys, could you just sit in that corner over there for a second?"

"Eh? What for?" Usopp queried, shuffling over to the indicated space with the monkey and magpie regardless.

"I don't want to squash you."

* * *

It took all of two seconds to transform to his heavy point and back down again.

Brushing the remains of the mangled contrivance from his shoulders (which were a little sore- although it had snapped the wire had certainly been soundly composed material), Chopper stepped in front of the magician, still somewhat humiliated but equally indignant. It seemed that Nami also had no particular affection for his advice, and had absolutely no inhibitions about berating their sarcastic jail-breaker.

"You _could_ have just _said_ you know. Do you enjoy being insufferable or are you just treating us by pouring it all over the room like week-old custard because you feel obliged to?"

The laughter that exuded from their cell-mate was not as impressively bell-like as before, but was somehow more sincere.

"Now, that's probably the most intelligent thing I've heard for a long time in this unbearable edifice, such a pity it had to be such an ugly insult from such a pretty lady."

Nami had had far too much experience from their ship's cook to be overly phased by this statement, however, and lost no time in letting Maragou share the knowledge that she was not the type to be accosted by flattery via such a blow on the shin with her beak that it would trouble him with bruising for some days afterwards. Presented with such an irate bird and the potentially considerable stature of the yeti-like Chopper, the dilapidated conjurer held up a hand in a gesture of surrender and apology.

"Alright, alright, mercy I beg of you…" he chuckled.

"You know you'll probably be saying that with a little more feeling in a little while, or have you forgotten that there were a few others alongside us?"

Even if he had blanched at remembering Zoro and Sanji's transformations it really wouldn't have mattered under the unreadable mask, and Luffy in particular didn't seem to be in much of a caring mood, as he sprang up to accost the dog-eared lapels of Maragou's shirt with his mobile paws as he clung onto him, menacing his new acquaintance with his tail in a vehement but singularly absurd fashion.

"Yosh! Right, I'm going to send you flying unless you change us back now, stinky magic-ossan!"

The mask regarded the yellow-crested monkey for a moment before tilting back with yet more peals of laughter.

"Oh spare me! Surely, I'm doomed- ah, but my little furry friend, I do believe you haven't been listening to me. Didn't I say that I have no objection to converting you back to your previous state? The only problem is my inability to do so at the present time. It may come as a surprise to you but this is hardly the type of accommodation I favour…"

There was a metallic clang as Chopper succeeded in levering off the metal slate that had sealed off the hatchway with his horns. He chose not to look at their hostage-come-host, although whether it was out of shyness or distaste however was uncertain.

"We figured that might be the case, and we'll do what we can about that (Usopp, can you get that pen and paper outside the cage on that desk? You can fit through the bars can't you? Thanks), but as Nami said before, it looks like we'll be stuck in her for a little while, so you could do us the favour of answering some questions."

Usopp, having obligingly wormed his way through the gaps of the larger prison they were now encased in, retrieved the items Chopper desired and deposited them besides Maragou.

"Ah well, if you insist, I believe you asked me how I can understand you? Well (oh, you want me to write something? Ah, '_with Maragou, 8__th__ floor, cage, join us asap'_, alright), the matter of fact is that I happen to be a Zoan-fruit user as well as your dear doctor here. I suspect you were an animal that ate a fruit that enables you to have human qualities?" As he spoke the magician wrote down the required correspondence and handed the note to Nami, who promptly attached it to the remaining weight and ribbon, dropping it down the hatch to land on the platform that was now moving down and away from them. Chopper flustered with astonishment at the masked man's deductions.

"W-well, yes! I am. I ate the human-human fruit when I was very young…" he stopped talking with the hesitancy that comes with bad memories. Maragou nodded sympathetically.

"Mm, bet you had a hard time after that one. Well, believe it or not I have had a similar experience, perhaps with the exception of my having eaten a rather different fruit- the lyrebird fruit, namely."

"Wait, you mean those mimicking birds? The ones that can copy any sound?" Nami interjected, "but, that wouldn't mean that you would be able to speak animal languages, not fully formed spontaneous sentences- only repeat phrases that you'd heard."

"Do I have to account for the sensibilities of cursed fruits? Or do I have to remind you that a rubber man wouldn't necessarily return to his original state without considerable warping of his frame after constant stretching? Not to mention other powers that defy all ideas of logic- the mere fact that these things exist is surely enough to dissuade any pursuit of sense in the matter." Nami closed her beak a little abashedly and refrained from pushing the issue; apparently he was sensitive about the subject, and remembering Chopper's origins she wondered whether he had good cause to be.

"Anyway," he sniffed, regaining some of his arrogant superiority slightly as he leant back once again, Luffy still attached to his front like some novelty Velcro toy, "the fact is that I am a Zoan-type fruit user that has, in fact, learnt the human tongue; I was not a human to begin with, therefore I have retained my abilities to understand my fellow creatures- something that you supposed _Homo_ _Sapiens_ still have yet to get to grips with." A particularly ironic stress was laid on the sapiens as he finished in a somewhat bitter tone.

"You're not a human?" Usopp looked at him incredulously, "but, you look like a human, even if you have those gloves and that mask, there's no way you could be any other animal, surely?"

"Hnh, and I suppose you would say that your reindeer friend looks like a reindeer?"

Chopper, who was currently in his familiar teddy-bear-come-racoon form, did a small dance of aggravation.

"Of course I'm a reindeer, bastard! Just watch what you say, you slippery wizard!"

Luffy, having tired of the conversation when he had decided that it had no bearing on achieving getting back to normal or kicking either Maragou or Gallee's ass (which was, more or less, as soon as it had started), had decided that winding his way in and out of the bars was a far more interesting pastime than threatening the magician ineffectually with his tail.

"Naaaaamiiiiiiiiiii, I'm huuuuuungry, come on, you can fit through the bars too, help me find some food!"

The winged navigator gave a sigh of exasperation, but had to accede that her captain had unwittingly made a good point.

"Eurgh, alright, hang on a minute- listen, I don't care about you or your allegations at the moment; what we need is to get back to normal as fast as possible. Do you have any idea where the keys are for this cage? I suppose Gallee is the most likely to have them… We can get out via the hatch, and all of us except Chopper can get through those bars."

"Well, you're an observant thing, aren't you," the sarcastic drawl yawned back at her, "except you haven't accounted for the fact that Gallee is a wretched coward and exceedingly weak so he wouldn't do something so obvious as have the keys himself. Okay, let's see if you can continue this sudden streak of brilliance- if you wanted to lock someone up in a large building, at what proximity to the prison would you keep the keys?"

Bristling at his mordant tone the magpie was sore put not to give him another reprimanding peck, but decided to ignore it as she replied with equal disdain, "as far away as possible I suppose, if I didn't want to move the person about."

"Very good. Now, go and find them."

"What do you mea… you mean, hang on, if this room is on the eighth floor, and there's eighteen floors in the whole building, then…"

"It's fine, I'll go."

Nami looked at Usopp with considerable surprise, "really? It's all the way down to the bottom floor you know, you'll have to take the shaft."

Looking uncommonly brave for a person of such outstanding spinelessness the stoat was already preparing to jump onto the linkages of the chains leading down into the dark.

"Hah! What's to be afraid of?! Merely another daring deed performed for his friends by the incredible Captain Usopp!"

"Eeeeeh! Wow, you're amazing Usopp!" Chopper's eyes sparkled with admiration as the furry sniper struck a valiant pose.

"Yeah! Even though we just told the others to come up here and meet us and not to go down to the basement like we originally told them to if we hadn't made contact by now!"

At Luffy's words Usopp's jaw might as well have been made out of wax as his dashing grin melted into a loose-jawed expression of dumbfounded realisation.

"… What?"

"Well, see you soon! Make sure you get those keys as quickly as you can!"

Knees shaking significantly more than he would have liked considering the precision of the jump he was preparing to make, the sharpshooter swallowed as he looked at the chains, still slinking downwards into the lightless passage.

"… are you sure you couldn't fly down inste…"

"With my injuries? Oh Usopp, you're so cruel! I couldn't possibly!" Nami crooned, fluttering her eyelashes outrageously.

_After flying all the way from Lily's farm you have the nerve to say that!_ He thought sourly as he swallowed, before launching himself with the most unmanly squeak that has ever been heard by man or stoat-kind, latching onto the chains with his habitual perfect aim. Seeing the square of light recede above him like some glowing post-stamp as his eyes adjusted to the dark he began to feel more secure, his climbing in the farmstead having encouraged him in his abilities to scale most objects. Running down the chain with little difficulty he tried to convince himself that it wouldn't be that frightening or difficult… probably… maybe… perhaps.

* * *

Meanwhile the message had reached Sanji, the sharp clattering of the weighted letter landing on the platform telling him that a new parcel had arrived some floors before it reached him. Sticking his head through the gap into the shaft he waited until the piece of paper arrived, managed to flick it over with his nose to read it whilst still holding onto the leavers with his feet- having such a long neck wasn't such a bad thing after all. Noting the new development he pondered the new task of relaying the information to Zoro and Robin- he knew they were in the substructure leading to the shaft itself at the moment on the level six floors below ground, four below him, but he couldn't risk having the message found before they reached it. After the increasing awareness that the lift was being used by the infiltrators he had no doubts that there were now marines posted on each floor to intercept more efforts of transportation and communication. This would require some thinking… and the dizzying surges of shivering and perspiration were not aiding his abilities of judgement. Biting his lower lip pensively he soon regretted his actions. He had been right- the substance dripping onto his head had been oil, presumably from the quickly rearranged mechanisms. The taste was foul- a thick, heavy, bitter taste, the noxious, slimey lubricant being perfect for its function but a long stretch from the fine virgin olive oil that he was used to sampling. This was far more thick and greasy for a start...

An idea occurred to him as a particularly solid impact hit the blockage behind him, causing his hoof to judder off the lever slightly from the vibration. Quickly pressing back down with more determination Sanji cursed whichever bright spark had decided to fetch a battering ram and hurriedly commenced undertaking his scheme.

* * *

"Urgh, there's no room to move down here."

"Well, I don't think it was really designed with wolves in mind, bushido-san. Nor cats, for that matter."

"Whatever, how far is it now?"

"It shouldn't be far now, if you turn left next."

"I know."

"I said left."

"I _know_, this IS my left."

"Alright, your other left then."

"… Damnit."

* * *

I WILL UPDATE SOONER THIS TIME. I promise. Really. Seriously.


	11. Going Down

HA! I managed to update before next year! GO ME! Now, read on, and as always, One Piece belongs to One Piece so please don't sue me to smithereens.

* * *

Darkness is a funny thing.

This may sound an odd description for something that so commonly causes anxiety and disquiet, but the truth is that darkness is a strange and rather paradoxical entity, and is as evasive as it is abundant; a place can only be dark if there is no light, but, on the other hand, shadows cannot exist without the presence of light. When a room is described as 'dark' it is very rare for it to be completely void of light, and in fact it is almost entirely impossible to avoid a source of light being present in any given situation (especially in the consideration of neutrinos and such, but we should not digress too much on this point). 'Dark rooms' used in photography must accede to the usage of red lights in order for some idea of where on earth the photographs are in proximity to the photographer to be gained. Caverns so deep within the Earth's crust that they have never been exposed to a single ray of sunlight still have a source of light from the phosphorescent glow of particular micro-organisms and, indeed, some of the rocks themselves. A black hole might be argued to be an example of absolute darkness by some, but again, this is only the case because light cannot escape its gravitational pull- it is in fact its sheer attraction of light that renders it, apparently, light-less.

Darkness need not be taken in such a literal fashion at all times, however. For instance to be 'kept in the dark' is to have a source of information denied: to have the subject completely clueless as the exact nature of the situation that is progressing around them. This expression has presumably evolved from a play on the word 'illumination'- as a person, to be illuminated is not to literally have a sizeable number of volts passed through the nervous systems (although those who have witnessed lightning bolt or electrical shock victims during the act of electrocution cannot deny that there is quite an impressive light show at the time), or to be bioluminescent as some species of fish are, but it is to have come to a point of realisation; an enlightenment, so to speak. Revelations that lead to such elucidation are often difficult to come to and are only achieved after a considerable amount of work, even (and most often especially) if the person who eventually achieves this insight is unaware that they were in pursuit or indeed bereft of this comprehension in the first place.

* * *

One such person with such unawareness is currently descending into the depths of an enemy fortress and is, in all senses, in the dark.

After having abandoned the well lit confines of Maragou's cell Usopp had commenced his journey downwards, securely latched onto the cold steel loops of the chains by the assistance of his claws and his terror. Initially he had presumed that his perception of complete blackness surrounding him had been the contrast from one light level to another, however, as his eyes became more accustomed to the obscurity that surrounded him he became more and more aware that this was not the only cause. In fact, the only source of light to the shaft appeared to be the hole out of which he had leapt to enter it- the reason becoming more and more unpleasantly evident as to why;

Every exit had been sealed.

Oddly grateful for his transformation's ability to see in such low-light intensity it was all the stoat-sniper could do to count the levels by the beams that indicated a new floor rushing past him in his vertical haste. He looked at the secure fastenings on the outlets with apprehension as he slinked his way downwards.

"Crap, they've cottoned on fast- or did they seal off the exits before we even entered the building…?" He muttered to himself in his unfamiliar voice of squeaks and chatterings. "How am I meant to get off at the bottom floor if that's the case? Oh, hang on, there's something…" As he spoke the slight glow from slightly beneath his current position explained itself as he counted it to be two floors below ground level.

"Sanji!"

Calling out his shipmate's name he bounced lithely over to a piece of planking that had been shifted loose by the horse to allow access to the platforms, partly to inform the blonde chef of the current situation, but largely due to his increasing uneasiness of the black passage behind him.

"Hey, Sanji! How's it… er, why are you covered in…?"

"Oil, I think, and I'm absolutely top of the world, thanks for asking," came the unenthusiastic reply, with a hefty slab of sarcasm to accompany the ironic glare Usopp was receiving. It was perhaps fortunate that Usopp's cowardice triumphed over his inclination to laugh, but it certainly was a strange sight to see Sanji's fur smeared with a greasy polish over a good half of his face and part of his mane. Another factor preventing his amusement might also have been the very evident attempts of the marines to break down the door behind the large horse, regardless of the substantial force that was being bestowed upon the lever holding it in place.

"Oil? Why?"

"I've taken up painting. So did you come to discuss the weather, or…?"

"Oh! Er, yes, no, I mean, sorry! Let me explain…"

The flummoxed creature relayed the latest updates to his acerbic companion, deciding that the explanation for his appearance would have to wait until the both the situation and Sanji's temper had improved.

"Sealed off you say? Hnh, well, the platform should have stopped outside of the level that Zoro and Robin are at- if the panel is still covering it they won't be able to reach it so you'll have to do something about that. Mind you, something tells me that won't be the case."

Usopp tried to hide the hope in his voice at the prospect of not having to deal with that sort of a problem; "Oh? You think so? Er, any particular reason?"

"Just a guess."

A particularly solid impact on the barrier caused them both to shudder as the floor reverberated with the blow. Sanji turned to Usopp with a little more urgency.

"Look, I'll hold out here as long as I can- you focus on getting the keys as fast as possible. If we want to get you back to the cage quickly you'll need to use the lift. Zoro won't be able to fit in to get upstairs, and Robin-chan won't come up alone at the risk of that great lummox getting lost and causing more trouble, so I won't move it until you give me a signal to do so."

"How the hell am I meant to do that? Send up a flare?!"

"Use the keys- metal on metal makes quite a noise; just hit the chains or the wall with them when you're ready. I'll leave the platform on the floor that it's at so that the marines think we aren't using it any more; you'll have to hang onto the pulley system instead but it'll shift you just as fast."

"Er, well, alright, if you're sure that'll work…"

Another brunt to the door lent swiftness to his paws as Usopp once more flew into the void to clamber down the chains as fast as he was able, leaving Sanji to continue to endure the efforts of the marines.

Now flying down the linkages as close to falling as he dared, Usopp noted the slight aperture on the level four below Sanji's position where the sealing panel had clearly been removed.

"Looks like he was right, guess they got the message after all. Just hope the marines didn't first."

He continued downwards unabated, wishing that he hadn't added that last thought to his troubles.

* * *

Several minutes previous to this thought a slight clunk and the ceasing of the noise of machinery brought the marines posted outside the lift outlet to the conclusion that the platform had stopped on their level; six below ground. This, coincidentally, was also the conclusion that was simultaneously reached by the grey-green wolf and the black and silver cat, which were crouching behind several large lockers in close proximity to the same dozen marines.

Zoro growled almost imperceptibly to his four-legged partner with consternation; "Well, what do we do now? Attack?"

"Hmm, I suspect that that is probably not the most advisable course of action to take." Robin's diagnostic eyes surveyed the situation coolly as she explained in order to prevent the swordsman's impetuous inclinations; "Although I do not doubt we could handle them easily, you may observe the mini den-den mushi the commander is carrying," she pointed out the ostentatious looking leader with a nod, who was currently ordering three of the men to remove the covering of the hatch, "and if back-up arrives this is not an ideal place or time for us to be penned in. We need to keep our presence hidden for the time being I'm afraid."

"But the platform stopped on our level- there must be a message like we anticipated, and they're taking off the cover; look!" As he spoke the panel was finally unscrewed completely and set to one side as the commander approached to inspect the lift. "Damn, this isn't good. We've got to do something!"

Robin had to agree, the state of affairs was hardly desirable- if the information that was meant for them passed into the hands of the enemy things would go very badly for them indeed, but just as she was contemplating taking Zoro's idea of a headlong assault into real consideration the commander withdrew with a mystified shrug.

"Nothing."

"Nothing, sir?"

"They must have realised that we're monitoring the lift, that or they've finished using it. It's just stopped."

"Maybe it was a blind? To make us think they were using it…?"

As the confused marines discussed what this new development might mean the wolf and cat exchanged looks; it had been agreed that if they were to go to the lift to await further details- if there was a new message the lift would stop on their floor and they were to act on those new orders. If there was no new information within a time span of ten minutes they were to make their way to the basement and search for more information from the bottom of the building upwards while awaiting further contact.

"The lift stopped but there's nothing inside it? What on Earth is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that we have to wait," Robin purred quietly, the tip of her tail lazily flicking back and forth.

"What?"

"Bushido-san, we were expecting one of two outcomes- either the lift would stop with a message, or it would not. As the lift has stopped…"

"You mean that…?

"Shh!"

The pair froze as the marines trooped past them; the commander having decided that he ought to report the change in the behaviour of the lift in person, leaving two men behind in case new movements were introduced. Zoro took a sinister glee in observing that neither was in possession of a communicative device, and, when it was evident that the other marines were completely gone, he was permitted to assist the unlucky guards into habituating the nearest closet. With the aid of a sturdy broom handle the duo were encased, leaving Robin free to investigate the contents of the lift. Even in her feline state it was obvious that she was greatly amused.

"Well? Found anything?"

"Most assuredly, although I may need a little assistance in removing it. I might request you to take care whilst doing so; it may be slightly fragile…"

Using the tips of her claws to partially lift a very thin, see-through piece of material off the metal surface of the platform, Robin directed Zoro to take hold of the edge very lightly between his teeth. Between the two of them they succeeded in pealing the object away, which had been completely invisible against the dark metal in the gloom of the shaft, held down as it was by the same greasy substance that had rendered the paper transparent. If the commander had had the tenacity to touch the platform in his inspection the plot may have been discovered, but as it was Sanji had not applied the objectionable unction to his face whilst disguising the paper in vain. Carefully laying the oily sheet on the white-tiled floor for Robin to read Zoro withdrew, spitting and champing at the vile taste pervading his mouth.

"Eurgh, I'm going to need a strong drink after that."

Robin laughed sweetly and smiled at his discontent, as she shredded the evidence and disposed of it down the shaft, "well, perhaps we'll find something for you on the way to the 8th floor, bushido-san…"

* * *

"Where's Zoro and the others? Shouldn't they have got here already? I'm boooooooooooooooooooooored."

"Well I'm terribly sorry, but there isn't a lot I can do to correct that slight difficulty, my dear captain."

"Oh put a sock in it you overdressed mockingbird."

"Lyrebird," Maragou corrected, haughtily.

"Well you're mocking as well as a liar, so I hardly see that it matters," Nami shot at him, stalking the floor of the cell fractiously. "Luffy, you're sure the door outside the cage is locked? You can't see a key or anything?"

"No, I looked all over, should I look again?" The black-hued monkey offered hopefully, waving at the disembowelled contents of the room outside of the cage.

"No, it's okay, I believe you," the navigator sighed wearily; Luffy may have been unorthodox, but he had certainly been thorough; the previous contents of the desk and drawers strewn about in as spectacular a fashion as early Christmas decorations arranged by an eager six year old. She turned (somewhat loathly) to the conjuror, "and you say the machine is on the floor above this one?"

The mask nodded shortly, apparently equally disinclined to cooperate with the authoritarian magpie.

"And rightly so," Gallee conceded, as he opened and closed the door in a neat but casual movement. "I'd have put it in even less close proximity to you, but you were _so_ obliging in aiding us to move it up here…"

"You! I'm gonna kick your a…"

"STOP!"

Both Luffy and Nami hesitated; it was the first time Maragou had said or done anything that revealed any sort of apprehension since they had met him. White glove outspread in warning it was quite evident that he meant what he had said. It was a little disquieting to hear the voice which had, up until that time, been so full of confidence and discern, hold a quaver of fear; "just… listen to him, and please, don't move."

Following the mask's gaze Nami observed that the cause of the magician's anxiety was a small tubular object held in Gallee's right hand in a cavalier fashion. Although she did not fully comprehend it, Nami did not take his reaction as an act of levity and nodded to Luffy to restrain himself (which he did, if in a highly petulant manner); apparently this was something to be quite wary of. She decided to hear what he had to say…

* * *

"Well, all as I can say is that I don't like it, no, not one bit."

The guttural tones of the somewhat surly and more than somewhat overweight guard invaded upon his partner's ears irritatingly as he attempted to finish the crossword puzzle he was struggling to concentrate on. Perhaps slightly aware that his conversation was not commanding the attention that he desired it to, the rotund man cleared his lungs emphatically before repeating his point of interest.

"A-_hem_, not one bit, I say."

The second man, of considerably less girth, allowed his companion some insight of his _dis_interest with a slight grunting sound in place of a reply. Unfortunately for him this seemed to prove sufficient encouragement for the bulbous marine to expound upon his source of trepidation.

"All the top brass taking off recently, even the last of 'em all of last night 'cept that Gallee and a few wannabe hotshots, and then what with that magician bloke being hooched off today as well- doesn't ring right, know what I mean? I mean, you'd want to leave at least a _few_ of them hanging about, wouldn't you? Not as to say that I _like_ them, not me, not never since they arrived on this blinking island, lot of ponces, but, well, you unnerstand what I mean; you don't just take off with all the management without leaving _someone_ to manage what's left, do you?"

Putting aside the crossword with a slight sigh of despair, the thinner marine abandoned all hopes of distracting himself from this apparently inevitable conversation.

"Phil, look, it don't matter what we thinks or doesn't thinks about the goings-on up there; they're hoofing it and that's that. Just be grateful that it'll be a break on us for a while; 'sides, they'll be back in three days is what they saids…"

"Aye, and that's what they saids about all those scientist lads, isn't it?" Phil continued, warming to his subject as his companion gradually showed signs of genuinely listening, "Where are they now, eh? You just tell me that! I'm telling you there's something right funny going on, especially what with all those pirates running about in fur and feathers, and I ain't laughing."

"You got me there; never seen anything like it in all my days! I mean, and I've seen a few things- did you ever meet that captain Smoker fella? Used to mooch about Rogue Town when I was posted there a while back; cor, now that guy was enough to make your eyebrows jump off of your face…"

"Oh _him_, that's nothing mate, did I ever mention the time…"

As the two continued to discuss the impossible things that a life on the seas had led them to witness, neither one noticed that a small piece of slightly rotted wood had been cautiously gnawed away from the planking at the base of the lift at their feet. Usopp scampered along the foot-worn stones of the dimly lit basement, ears prickling with adrenaline as he listened in every conceivable direction for some indication of where the keys might be kept or whether he was about to trodden on (the latter perhaps taking slight precedence over the former). Having exited the lift on the East side of the building he continued in that direction, although he was all too aware that the width of the building was enough to cause problems in terms of time if it were the case that the key was on the opposite side.

Pushing this discouraging thought aside he suddenly became aware that his progress was being accosted by the presence of a rather large door. Wondering how he was supposed to open it from his meagre height his answers appeared in the portly figure of Phil, who was presently calling back over his shoulder; "two sugars and milk, isn't it? Alright, I'll be back in a tick."

Panicking at his unfortunate position Usopp froze, his plight of being plainly visible causing him to stop thinking clearly until he realised his luck at the cumbersome form of the marine, who was completely oblivious to the tiny mammal's presence due to the substantial protuberance of his own stomach hiding his view of anything very close to the floor. Slipping neatly through the door after the large man Usopp chased the polished boots treading heavily along the corridor, scanning the rooms that they passed as he went. It seemed to be largely storage; towering grey filing cabinets and stacks of drawers spilling over with papers piled against every wall and crammed into every corner. As plump as his adversary-come-guide was it was evident that he was expertly used to the settings, as he practically performed a corpulent waltz around the obstacles, humming a dainty air as he did so. Usopp noted that there didn't seem to be many people around other than the thin-and-fat duo, and had begun to wonder whether he had chosen the wrong direction to take when he almost ran into the back of the plump marine's boot as it came to a sudden halt.

"Why we have to have all these blessed keys I'll never know," he was muttering, "tch, all for a flaming cup of coffee…"

Usopp's attention was hardly directed towards sympathy for Phil's inconvenience however, but rather was entirely focused on the large ring of keys that he had produced from the confines of his trouser pocket. There must have been near to twenty of the metallic contrivances, ranging from the tiniest of sorts to match the locks of a suitcase, to keys large enough to fit devices of ludicrously grand proportions: his heart both skipped at having discovered such a mother-load and sank at the sight of so many. It would take an age to locate the correct key even with an idea of what the original lock looked like, and certainly it was too heavy for him to carry all of them at once with any rapidity. Digesting this new difficulty he observed his new acquaintance give a cluck of success as he located the correct key for the room they were about to enter.

"Why we don't just move the machine into the corridor I'll never know…"

The new room was somewhat more organised than the previous ones, mainly due to it being a type of airlock for the room immediately afterwards.

The room immediately afterwards being hidden behind a door that was enticingly labelled 'top secret'.

Now there were two main goals- one, to get the keys, regardless of how cumbersome and numerous they were, and two, to get into that room. Usopp had no particular basis for this burning curiosity, but he had a strong feeling that there was something important to be gained by entering this forbidden place.

Unaware of the thoughts of the creature scurrying about on the floor near to his feet, Phil deposited the keys on the side of the sorely out of date coffee machine with a yawn as he commenced making his work colleague's beverage.

"Two sugars, heh, he'll want to watch out with that, 'elsewise he'll end up like me!" He chuckled at his own joke genially, until he realised that his mirth, combined with his considerable equator, had jolted the keys off the work surface he had just placed them on.

"Well, bother…"

Bending down (with a significant amount of effort), Phil investigated the space of floor that should have been where the keys had landed, which was apparently quite void of any such thing.

"Damn. Now where've they gotten to…?"

Had he been less occupied with the ground, and perhaps if he had been less profoundly spherical, he might have felt a very slight weight on his back, and had he listened above the wheezing of his labours he might have heard a slight jangling of metal, as the key that Usopp had swiftly detached (matching it to the distinctive lock was no problem to a person of such keen sight and mechanical inclination) was turned in the door marked 'top secret', the keys that Phil was so intent on finding having been swiftly dragged securely underneath a heavy cabinet to their left.

"Always the way, drop something and it disappears! Sometimes I don't wonder if there's not pixies or creatures of the like what steals things… woah!"

His musings were interrupted as the door was opened inwards by his sizable bulk pressing against it combined with the stoat's operation of the door handle, leading him to fall backwards into the new room with all the grace of an unseated blancmange.

* * *

On the other hand, blancmange, jelly or food of any other variety, was as far from the culinary expert of the Strawhat's crew's mind as could have been conceivably possible at the present time. The seemingly simple task of holding down a single lever whilst listening out for the signal of his minute sniper friend was proving far more difficult by the minute; even having succeeded in wiping most of the oil off of his face by rubbing his muzzle against his forelegs the constant surges of perspiration were causing his sight to be stung by the salt water finding its way into his eyes, his polished hoofs slipping on the shiny surface of the wooden spar he was leant on as his fits of shivering persisted in increasing in their severity and frequency.

"Shit… "

A resounding crack split against his ears as the wooden panelling started to tear apart from the work of the battering ram- the barrier had held out soundly for longer than he might have anticipated, but at last the constant barrage of attacks was starting to take its toll. There was a slight cheer from the crowd of marines outside of the door, which was swiftly disintegrated as the sounds of celebration turned to those of alarm, combined with a clattering that sounded suspiciously like that of cloven feet. Sanji paused and listened as the clamour continued for some minutes, before the sounds were replaced with those of retreating footsteps (of a suspiciously smaller number of feet than it would have taken to operate a battering ram).

"Doctor?"

The horn-point reindeer nosed his way through the remains of the barrier, tripping through the splinters of wood with pleasure as he upbraided his Nakama.

"Bastard! Don't think you can make me happy by calling me that, moron!"

The cook had to admit it; Chopper's timely arrival was more than welcome, although as he stepped off the now useless lever he had to declare his curiosity and concern.

"What are you doing here? I thought you guys were staying in the cage with Maragou until Usopp got the keys for you?"

Shrinking back down to his normal form, his three minutes expended, Chopper played with the rim of his hat a little guiltily.

"Mmm, but, I figured that Nami is smart enough to handle the circumstances until Usopp gets back, and Luffy's there to look after her, and seeing as Maragou can understand them they don't need me as a translator…"

"Wait, he can understand them? What the hell… and how did you get down here?"

"I just climbed down the shaft until I got to the floor above this one so that I could come around the outside and give those marines a surprise- you could hear the impacts even halfway up the building! As for Maragou, I'll explain it all in a bit, but first I need to talk to you- I've been thinking, and I think I might know what's wrong with you."

"You mean it's not the transformation?"

Chopper looked at his lofty companion reproachfully; "No, well, it may still be partially that, and it certainly may have accentuated the problem. I think you might know what it is as well, though you might not have been willing to admit it to yourself, let alone us."

Sanji listened with a mixture of surprise and embarrassment at the simple but somewhat unexpected reasoning that Chopper had deduced…

* * *

"So, to what do we owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?"

The magician leant back comfortably against the uncomfortable wall of his cell, having swiftly regained his usual sardonic manner after his momentary lapse. Luffy couldn't understand what was quite so frightening about the tiny metallic cylinder held lightly in the moustachioed lieutenant's hand, but he decided that the threat of Nami's beak on his skull again was sufficient a threat to maintain a pretence of patience, for the time being at least. Galle smiled amiably and completely ignored his original prisoner, instead noting the arrival of the monkey and magpie with slightly surprised indifference.

"Only the two of you? Ahem-hem, oh well, I suppose that will have to suffice for now. No doubt the rest of you will be dropping in sooner or later anyhow. As I believe you said before, Mister Maragou; we can't have an incomplete collection now, can we?"

Nami didn't lose out on the opportunity to send the black-caped inmate a judgemental glare, his role in their predicament far from forgotten or forgiven. The mask simply tilted forwards in a sarcastic parody of gratitude.

"I'm flattered that you deem my words worthy of remembrance, mayor."

"Well," Gallee smiled sadly, "it's the least I could do to preserve the memory of such a fine performer, although perhaps your acts of illusion will be remembered more so than your words. All the same; my condolences."

It was an ominous commiseration. Perhaps it was further emphasized as the be-whiskered man slipped the cuff of his marine uniform up to check the dials on a small, glittering watch, the sight of which caused Nami's eyes to widen slightly; Gallee noticed her interest with amusement.

"Ah, I see you appreciate the craft? Here;" he leant forwards as he gloatingly revealed the silver rimmed device encrusted with tiny shimmering stones. "Delightful work, isn't it? Though you might find more value in what it was designed to indicate at the present moment. Well, not that it matters to _me_ very much…"

"Just tell us how long."

Gallee looked disapprovingly at the magician, "what, without as much as a 'please' or 'thank you'? Such manners. Really, what is the world coming to these days?"

"How long? How long until what?" Luffy scratched his head with his tail enquiringly, "Dinner time? Oh! Do we get food?! Awesome, I'm hungry, but I'm still going to kick your ass," he added in an incomprehensible reminder to the marine in a flurry of jabbering. While Nami simply sighed into the plumage of her wing, Maragou was apparently becoming more accommodating with the onset of pressure, and obligingly answered Luffy's question;

"Until we die."

There was an eerie silence as the absurdly concise but chilling statement settled in.

"Oh come now, you don't have to put it like _that_," Gallee chided, "well, from your perspective perhaps it has some accuracy, but you don't have to make it sound so…"

"Fatalistic?" The mask sneered back. Gallee nodded enthusiastically, looking bizarrely like the friendly villager that Luffy and Nami had originally encountered back on the cliff top at the start of their adventures.

"Yes! Quite! Hmm, let's see, how about we say, 'before a great financial advance is made for the World Government and for the sake of great justice', instead?"

"Financial advance…? Wait, but, aren't they making a huge profit off the sales of fish about the islands due to the tide and holding the position of control? Isn't that what all of this is about?"

It appeared that the lieutenant had anticipated Nami's confusion of the situation, as he chuckled condescendingly down at the black-and-white feathered pirate.

"I suppose you're a little confused, hm? Tch, honestly, you poor seafaring bandits, always thinking so small. You really think that the marines would concern themselves over such a microscopic affair? Selling fish to paupers who are so stupid that they don't even realise that it was their own scientists who assisted in their decline? Ahem-hem! Oh, hardly voluntarily, at least, not after they realised," he waved down the transformed pirate's expressions of shock at this revelation, " The profits we gained from these islands have only been poured back into a much grander scheme, far beyond the scope of such short-sighted people as yourselves and the islanders. Just imagine the abundance, the riches, so utterly wasted on the peasants so blindly scuttling about in these hills and valleys, amusing themselves with their silly little plays and pantomimes." His previously homely face twisted into a sour expression of disgust. "The theatre, _tcha_, what use to anybody is such a decadent waste of time? Really they ought to be grateful for my genius, if only they had intelligence enough to perceive it; a metropolis of morons!" As he ranted his skin began to blush an unpleasant shade of puce as he vented his apparent frustration at his position of power over the people of the island. "Honestly, sometimes I wonder whether we should have just let them waste away from their pathetic malnutrition without their blessed fish- how a populace can become such a reliant gaggle of milksops I'll never know."

The fabric of Maragou's gloves squeaked with tension as his hands balled into fists, Nami noting that it seemed she was observing genuine emotion from the mysterious conjuror - it appeared that he had developed some genuine affection for the place and its arts, and for the first time since meeting him she felt the slightest tinge of sympathy for his sentiments.

Calming down after his slight tirade Gallee smoothed down his moustache, regaining his cool pomposity as he continued to speak; "So, what is it all for, I suppose you're wondering? Well, you actually may have unwittingly seen the answer without realising, but, perhaps if I show you a main part of the device that your dear paranormal companion here created you will better understand…" He crooned smugly as he withdrew a small velvet pouch from his trouser pocket. There was a slight intake of breath from Maragou- Nami gathered from this that the devil-fruit machine must have been disabled by this removal of one of its parts, but his surprise indicated more than the drawback that reason alone would have caused. Even with the mask the magician looked as if he had just been utterly taken aback by a realisation that he had not reached until now, more than that; he was completely horror-struck. His voice hissed out in bewildered revulsion.

"_That?_ All of this is for…?! You can't be serious?!"

"Oh, I am quite serious," the grim smile returned from under the bristling facial hair, as the object was finally revealed, the sight of which caused Luffy to burst into gales of 'su-g_eeeeeeeee_!' and Nami to practically fall over out of sheer surprise at the cause of the whole twisted affair, "and it's a refreshing change to see you acting the same way for once."

* * *

Having fallen off his unsuspecting assistant and rolled across the length of the carpet, Usopp collided with the highly polished base of the high polished desk which occupied most of the room they had just tumbled into. Gathering his dizzied wits the sharpshooter and part time key-thief took stock of his surroundings.

The walls were lined with charts of various types, mostly of a geographical nature, ranging from oceanic charts of the neighbouring islands and waters, to graphs of what appeared to be incomprehensible jargon on both axis, and lines of mad spaghetti to indicate… well, whatever it was supposed to indicate, between them. There were other seemingly unrelated pieces of data; an area of ocean floor some miles to the South West, a map of the current section of the Grand line two thousand years ago noting the previous shapes and absences of islands, the behaviour of shoals of fish in relation the temperature of the ocean. None of this was of particular interest to Usopp, although it did strike him as noteworthy that the Rip Tide had been marked on top of one of the maps in various different inks depending upon the date; the earliest appearing in a faded blue dating from two years ago, the newest in a deep crimson, dated a mere five days ago. With every step in time the tide appeared to have taken a new shape, gradually becoming more and more regular, and this is perhaps what intrigued Usopp the most as he inspected the map with growing curiosity: Jokari and its neighbouring islands roughly formed a ring around an empty space of ocean, and as the tide had become neater and, as it was now almost blatantly obvious, 'finished', they were practically held within a circular loop of fast moving water. Looking about with growing comprehension Usopp now saw that several of the maps overlapped with each other- being of exactly the same space as the Rip Tide map, but each displaying different qualities of the area; contours of the ocean floor, seasonal tides and their resultant silt movements and erosive effects, the topography of different types of rock found within and around the geography of the isles, the meeting positions and movements of tectonic plates in and around the local facility…

A gradual and chokingly terrifying realisation began to dawn on him…

* * *

Zoro practically choked on the rum that he was lapping up from the supply that they had managed to discover behind the canteen (which was now abjectly void of the presence of any hungry marines, their appetites mysteriously vanished by the appearance of the thirsty canine).

"Are you kidding?! _That's_ what all this is about?!"

"Well, if my research has led me to the correct conclusion; Lily's supply of maps was quite helpful, and certainly matches the geography and materials I observed about the city. I admit it may seem a little far-fetched to us, but to the mind-set of an organisation like the World Government…"

"That's crazy!" For once the immediate presence of alcohol was forgotten as the swordsman took to his paws, "we've got to get the others… no," he hesitated before setting off for the stairs, "we need to tell _everyone_, everybody; the whole island!"

"Perhaps," Robin tilted her head pleasantly to one side, "or perhaps that would make the situation worse, don't you think?"

Zoro stopped and regarded the archaeologist with confusion, wondering whether the shock of comprehension had been so much that she had taken leave of her senses. Robin merely chuckled and headed in the _correct_ direction for the stairs; "Come, I'll explain, but I do believe you were correct with your initial idea- let's join the others."

Following her lead Zoro felt a rivulet of sweat trickle through the fur on his temple; he had never prayed to God, yet it certainly would have been forgivable for someone in his position to have done so if what the historian had calculated was true…

* * *

"So, what was in the parcel?"

"Hmm?" Sanji looked up having temporarily fallen into a stupor whilst the doctor made his inspections after having explained his symptoms. "Sorry?"

"The parcel- the one that Robin said we had to send down to you when we got to the lift."

The small bundle lay a little to the left of the cook's front hooves, carefully wrapped in one of Lily's good tea towels and tied with one of the red ribbons Helen had obligingly donated to their cause.

"Ah yes! Robin-chan told me to open it when I didn't have to worry about the lift. _Sigh!_ She's so thoughtful, to give me a _present!_ Oh such bliss! You know, I think she really likes me! Poor Nami-san, she'll be so jealous…"

Chopper simply rolled his eyes and picked up the small package, "well, you aren't busy with it now, are you? Should I open it?" He offered, subtly avoiding explicitly saying that Sanji would have difficulty opening it himself (this presumably having been the reason for its delivery via the shaft- having to carry it in his mouth all the way to the control room would only have caused more difficulties). The cook nodded, equally eager to see the contents.

"Well? What is it?"

Chopper rolled the several small objects out onto the floor in front of them alongside the note encased within, the latter causing, upon reading, both four-legged creatures to feel quite weak at all eight sets of knees. Chopper sat down hard on the floor as Sanji gazed at the contents of the towel with a mixture of admiration of Robin's deductive skills and of abject horror at what they had revealed. There was a momentary silence before he turned to the reindeer.

"Chopper… could you help Usopp get back to the cage for me?" Chopper looked up at the tall black creature, and although he missed the familiarity of the chef's usual countenance, it was easy to see that he had asked with a sincerity that could not allow him to answer in the negative had he desired to.

"I have to go."

* * *

Praying that this fanciful germ of idea was not, _could_ not be what all of this was really about, Usopp urged his scraggly frame up the leather-backed chair in the vacated office to find himself amongst several large and serious looking books, mostly about subjects matching the maps on the wall, which were slowly but surely aligning in his brain, one on top of the other. The rock types and positioning- metamorphic, igneous, sedimentary, steep inclines on the ocean floor, a large but generally dormant volcanic ridge along the basin with a peak in the contours lying central to the ring of islands, the colliding plates pushing the crust up into those same islands, pressure, _enormous_ amounts of pressure, with a significant weakening in the surrounding ocean floor due to the subduction occurring in the maps of the ocean due south west over hundred and thousands of years… Pushing the books off the desk one after the other he looked, searched, pleaded with the leather bound volumes to tell him _why_, why someone would plan something so catastrophically huge, so utterly mad, so unreasonable.

"Reason, a reason, there's _got _to be a reason…"

As the last book of data on volcanic activity during the past two centuries fell away from his paws, leaving the small hardback volume staring him coldly in the face, so too did Usopp's perception of any sanity being left in the world fall away from him, as he sat back hard on his haunches. It came as a comparatively numb surprise that Phil, too, was gazing in disbelieve, not at the small hairy creature which had just pushed several hefty books off the high desk, but at the horrific discovery which they had both just made in the form of the dull sounding little tome facing them.

'_A History of the Mining and Formation of Gem Stones in the Hallavic Circle Over Three Centuries; the Tale of the Diamond Ring Islands.'_

* * *

Gallee rotated the immense piece of transparent rock fondly in his palm as he observed his guests' astonishment at the colossal diamond, larger than a man's fist and perfectly cut, each facet as flawless as the next, executed by some remarkable force of talent- the gem having formerly acted as the main focusing lens of the Aki Aki fruit machine. The quality was exquisite- so fine as to match the tiny cousins that rimmed the timepiece on Gallee's wrist, as glittering as the rock surmounting the lonely wedding ring of Lily Evan's, all carved away from the original rough stone-like forms, the likes of which Robin had taken the liberty of borrowing from Helen's collection of pebbles from the beach.

"Oh, and in response to your previous question, Mr Maragou," once again he tilted the face of his watch to read the time, encircled by the locally sourced gems, "I make it, oh, let's say… two hours."

Maragou's breath was paralysed inside his frozen lungs as he gazed incredulously at the sole cause of the approaching disaster, extracted from the innermost workings of the very machine that he had fashioned with his own hands.

"Two hours, until the seven Hallavic islands are obliterated."

* * *

So, did you guess it? If not, don't worry, things will be fully explained in the next one as to why and how and what for etc. Thoughas to when the next update will be your guess is as good as mine! Hope you're having a nice summer :D


	12. Fractures

Shorter chapter this time but rather a lot of technicalese, so sorry about that (and a HUGE thank you to Garf, my geology-student friend, and Wikipeadia, source of all wisdom on the web, for helping out with that). I also realise that I may well have made some stonkingly ridiculous claims and mistakes, but hey, this is One Piece; if you can have cannon ball firing dogs, why not this? XP Hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading! Every review is a great help and incentive to keep improving.

* * *

The lithosphere includes the crust and the uppermost mantle and is the solid outermost shell on a rocky planet. This is underlain by the asthenosphere, the weaker, hotter, and deeper part of the upper mantle. The boundary between the lithosphere and the asthenosphere is defined by a difference in response to stress: the lithosphere remains rigid for long periods of geologic time, whereas the asthenosphere flows much more readily. As the conductively cooling surface layer of the Earth's convection system, the lithosphere thickens over time. It is fragmented into tectonic plates which move independently relative to one another- the movement of which is commonly referred to as plate tectonics.

The conditions for diamond formation to happen in the lithospheric mantle occur at considerable depth; estimated to be in between 140–190 kilometers, though occasionally diamonds have crystallized at depths of 300-400 km. The rate at which temperature changes with increasing depth into the Earth varies greatly in different parts of the Earth. In particular, under oceanic plates the temperature rises more quickly with depth, beyond the range required for diamond formation at the depth required. The correct combination of temperature and pressure is only found in the thick, ancient, and stable parts of continental plates where regions of lithosphere known as cratons exist. Long residence in the cratonic lithosphere allows diamond crystals to grow larger.

This, however, is observed and stated within the boundaries of safe and absolute logic. Once more, it must be stipulated that there is no such thing within that eccentric and fascinating stretch of ocean known as the Grand Line, but more of these impossibilities later, for this is not the point of interest at the present time.

The point of interest about this subject would probably be that of worth. Diamonds are so sought after and prized, not soley for their visual attraction (although that is doubtless how the obsession first arose), but because of their perceived extraordinary value. Such specific and rare events and conditions lead to their formation, that they are in themselves extremely rare. Money is also highly prized, but it is not its rarity that earns its value; it is what one may obtain in exchange for certain amounts of the cheap paper and metal that embodies it that attributes its significance. If taken as articles in their own right they are, to put it bluntly, completely worthless.

Having said this, the most valuable possession to one person may be apparently worthless to another. Luffy, being a prime example, was well known by his crew to treasure his hat above any other worldly possession, even above meat (and that, in the case of this particular pirate, is definitely saying something), although in its current form it was quite impossible to remove it from his head, as it resided in the golden outcrop of fur across his scalp and nape. Zoro, currently being directed back towards the stairwell for the fifth time by the eternally patient Robin, similarly took great pride in his katana, but his true treasure could have been considered to be his strength and skill as a swordsman, so essential to upholding his honour-bound promise to become to greatest swordsman in the world. So it was with all of the crew; their treasures were not gold, nor silver, not the existential jewels and plunder of the seas (well, perhaps with the exception of a certain navigator), but their dreams. Based upon the impressions generally gathered from the demeanour of the flamboyant Marvellous Mister Maragou, it might have been supposed that his most cherished possessions were the spoils of his fame, the riches of his celebrity. Perhaps he encouraged this idea, perhaps he did not; what was under the mask was a forbidden place, a landscape never to be seen by those who saw it. What Maragou treasured was classified, for to have dreams and desires was to be accessible, to be human. He was porcelain, he was silk, he was velvet; no more a man than the very props that he employed during his acts upon the stage, be it that of the theatre or that of life. For his act to remain successful the mystique could not be broken, the act of his every waking moment executed to secure the façade as reality to those who observed it- a great magician never reveals his secrets.

At the present moment in time, however, the makeup was melting under the hot-lights of Gallee's custody, especially due to a highly unwelcome development posing an enormous threat over the one article which he had let slip the slightest sign of affection for- the Hallavic Islands.

* * *

"Interesting, isn't it?" The Lieutenant mused, fondling the glittering rock indifferently. "What things mean to people- take this; to you, it meant no more than a means for executing your designs, a scientific tool. To most others it would appear to be something of unimaginable value, a priceless article, fit only to be a toy of the richest merchants and kings of our time; but such thoughts are small, oh, so small…" Again the unpleasant smugness oiled his face into a repugnant smile, "and then you have people who do not think in such stifled ways, people who realise a larger picture, outside of the frame of common perception. People who wonder, where did it come from? How did it form? Are there more, and how would one come by them? Perhaps, even, is there a way to create more? You see," the bristling moustache twitched into a patronising façade of tutorly responsibility as Gallee leant close to the bars of the cage, "it's our duty as beings of higher mental powers to realise these ideas, to liberate the potential held within something so wasted upon the vulgar masses."

"No matter what the price is?" Maragou sneered back contemptuously.

Gallee laughed shrilly, "Price? Ha! You talk of price? Consider the worth of such a gaggle of uneducated, foolish peasants in balance with this!" The diamond was thrust into their vision once again, cold and shimmering in the light from the office window, "you think that the meagre population of a few islands outbalances the financial gain a mere dozen of these would contribute to the Marines? It's not as if this kind of action is unheard of for the World Government- for a good cause, of course."

Nami's head quirked to the side as she considered this statement, but the current situation did not allow her to dwell upon this thought for long, as it appeared Maragou had temporarily forgotten his previous fear of the device in Gallee's possession, as he roughly took hold of the collar of the white uniform with both hands through the bars. His voice was low with sincerity and ill concealed wrath.

"You… _monster_."

Gallee's confident, high-pitched laugh stung in their ears in contrast, "HA! Me? That's rich," the hand that crashed into the side of the mask was surprisingly forceful for someone of the lieutenant's meagre physique, "coming from something like _you_."

There was a low, muted gasp as the magician slammed hard to the floor, the white visor for the first time lifted from his visage as he made contact with the hard surface. The clattering of the mask against the tiles mingled with the sound of tearing fabric as the ostentatious cape, caught in the hinges of the steel prison doors, was torn asunder by the conjuror's descent. Even in her avian form the shocked intake of breath from Nami was a succinct summary of what would have been the natural reaction to Maragou's true appearance.

Frankly, he was beautiful.

Curiously so, and as far from human appearance as imagination could accommodate, but never-the-less, beautiful. He was an astonishing sight to behold. It was more than clear now that he had never been human to begin with, but, especially judging by the magnificently lush, long and stripy tail, previously concealed by the immense swathes of black cloth, had in fact originally been a lemur. A glittering black nose surmounted the end of his neatly pointed muzzle, smothered in a fine down of ebony to grey fur leading to a fine ruff of white about his cheeks. The reason for his unreadable shadows behind the mask was now explained by the characteristic black bar of fur across his wildly amber-hued eyes, the soft pelt of his face contrasting starkly with the styled hair on the back of his head, sprayed and combed until it conceivably resembled that of a human's head. From the distance of the seating within a theatre, even in the front row, the covering of the mask and high collar would have made his animalistic features quite impossible to discern. So much for the appearance of a lemur, but as he had stated before, users of zoan fruits do not necessarily resemble either their original forms or those of the creature who's powers they have adopted. So it was that on closer inspection it was evident that the black 'hair' on the back of Maragou's head was, not so much hair, as much as it was an outcrop of incredibly fine feathers, the extraordinarily intricate, scrolling tail feathers of the lyrebird intertwined with the finer feathers and subtly dyed a paler shade of black. His cravat now severely askew revealed that a similar arrangement of plumage appeared to be present across his collarbone, and the glimmer of flesh-coloured skin at the base of his cuffs before the luxurious silk gloves (as it had appeared from their position in the audience of the opera house), was in actuality a lavish, thin down of peach-hued feathers, akin to those of a chaffinch.

It was hard not to pity the strangely handsome creature as he pushed himself up against the lengths of his forearms, panting with the shame of his exposure, along with the pain of Gallee's clout. The Lieutenant brushed down his lapels discerningly.

"Oh yes, come one come all, for all and one fall rapturous before the Marvellous Mister Maragou." The corner of his mouth curled up into an unpleasant expression of scorn, "You might want to rethink your advertising- perhaps a freak show attraction might befit you more."

The amber eyes narrowed slightly, but the smile that flashed back from the set of slightly pointed teeth was perfectly pleasant, "hmm, I might take your advice on that- from one as expert in the field as yourself." Maragou spat aside the trickle of blood issuing from his lip, taking pleasure in the flinch resulting from his slight.

"I suppose you think yourself very clever, don't you, my dear conjuror?"

"Being stuck in this situation I can't exactly consider myself a genius."

"Pity we can't say the same for him."

Maragou laughed at the navigator's comment, Gallee oblivious to the shot. It appeared that the two were beginning to feel more accommodating for the other's faults with a common enemy present.

"Well I'm glad we agree there. I suppose then that you would also agree that you are not very well informed about the creation of such remarkable minerals such as this…?"

* * *

"So, go through it again?" Zoro was hardly one to admit difficulty in understanding circumstances, even if they were complex, but the unbelievable nature of what Robin had deduced was forgivably taxing. She obligingly reiterated her thesis.

"Well, Bushido-san, from what I've observed in the books of the history of these Islands, there has been an unusual number of diamonds mined in and about this area for many years."

"So why was the main trade fish? Surely if something as valuable as a diamond trade was in enterprise…"

"Ah, well, that was slightly over two hundred years ago I'm afraid. It is true that the diamonds mined brought a lot of wealth and fame to these islands, but the problem with mining diamonds is that the process is long, expensive, and increasingly dangerous as you go deeper and further underground. The mining continued to such a degree that there was simply no way to continue- as it was the percentage of diamonds being turned out with each session was decreasing; they had used up the resources that they had discovered before they realised it, causing a crash in popularity and a resultant deficit in funding. Hence the new start with the fishing and vaudeville circuits. Interest has never been completely lost in this area by some though- you see, the level at which the diamonds were discovered at was generally at around 150 kilometres underground, which is difficult to reach but not impossible. There has been speculation, however, due to the particular nature of the lithosphere in this area, that there is a possible second trove of diamonds on a lower level of rock- around 300 kilometres, say."

"Why? How could there be two separate levels? Wouldn't the diamond strain just keep going?"

"Well, unusually for an area with such an abundance of diamonds, the plate tectonics of the area are not stable- diamond formation takes many, many years in a stable environment, but the volcanic nature of the Hallavic Islands does not equate to their appearance. The formation of natural diamond requires very specific conditions; namely exposure of carbon-bearing materials to high pressure, but at a comparatively low temperature range between approximately 1652–2372 °F (900–1300 °C), in places with little turbulence and structural disturbance. Part of the reason there were so many fish in the local vicinity is the exact opposite- the seas are warm from the heat produced from the thin crust of the ocean floor, so the temperatures would typically be too high for the process to occur, which mystified people for many years. However, diamonds can also form in other natural high-pressure events. Very small diamonds, known as microdiamonds or nanodiamonds, have been found in meteorite impact craters. Such impact events create shock zones of high pressure and temperature suitable for diamond formation."

Zoro's attention was already beginning to slip (although having to rapidly escalade the stairs whilst avoiding being too overly conspicuous was perhaps more consuming a task than might have been supposed), but he strained to follow the archaeologist's explanation with an abrupt "hnf", to prove he was listening.

"The theory runs that there was a huge plate shift many thousands of years ago- something incredibly sudden and forceful."

"Like the impact of a meteor then?"

"Certainly with a similar effect- so huge was the shock wave that the diamonds which formed were not the minute ones which usually occur from sudden impacts, but diamonds of normal to exponentially large sizes. The thing is that there is evidence, not only of one immense continental shift, but two."

"Two?"

"Yes, the area of ocean floor to the South West of here has two huge ridges of volcanic sea bed rock made from magma that set upon arrival at the surface, made when the subsidence allowed the mantle to break though the Earth's crust and be temporarily exposed. From the amount of rock produced at each ridge, the second subsidence must have been considerably larger than the first, but there is a considerable gap between the two. The jolt also seems to have usettled the islands significantly and forced several rough diamonds closer to the surface, where they eventually worked their way through the sedimentary layers of rock to alight on the beaches- although a lot of people never realised this, Helen Evans being one of them, although she obligingly kept some in her pebbles collection to aid my deductions."

"So… the second shock may have produced diamonds as well, but because it happened so long after the first shock that they're too far down for anybody to reach?"

Robin smiled at the swordsman's grasp of the situation, "indeed."

"Then the idea is to…"

* * *

"… Force the diamonds up though the crust by triggering the volcanic region in the centre of the circle of islands, yes."

Maragou gazed blankly at his captor, as expressionless as the mask sitting on the floor next to him. Luffy had not followed much in the technicalities of the plot, but understood that his dislike of Gallee was growing in direct proportion to the amount of time he had been talking. Nami was simply wondering at how he could talk about something of such magnitude and madness with sincerity.

"The rip tide has been very obligingly formed by the construction of an immense artificial canal being built underneath the ocean using two walls woven out of a wonderful substance (I believe they refer to it as fibreglass), which channels the water around the islands. We had to construct it in a wider, more irregular shape initially to allow the farce of it being a random, natural occurrence to be more believable and for the convection to initiate the speed. Slight folds created in the wall due to certain pressurized machinery would allow our ships to traverse sections of the tide to access the islands, whilst the shape of the walls would be instantly resumed upon release- a marvellous piece of engineering, really. Gradually we have been able to adjust it due to the flexible nature of the walls to optimise the amount of pressure that it applies to the thin layer of crust surrounding the ring of islands." He talked. On and on, like some demented lecturer to a captive gaggle of horrified students in a university studying nightmares. "Once that section of crust collapses (instantaneously and simultaneously around the entire course, thanks to several strategically placed explosive devices), the speed and weight of the current over the fracture will aggravate the mantle, the islands will collapse, causing a shockwave to travel inwards to the centre of the ring, triggering volcanic activity, which in turn will force the centre downwards and the islands back upwards."

"So that you can pluck the riches from the wreckage."

"Precisely! I'm glad you can at least follow me- by breaking the islands apart and forcing them upwards from underneath, the diamonds will be easy pickings, saving money that would otherwise have been needed to mine them; a needless expenditure of time and resources if you have a mind like mine."

"Oh yes, and the amount spent of the research to develop this 'fibreglass' wall, and the years constructing it, and the risk of this being completely insane without a hope in hell of actually working because it's such a load of bul…"

"SHUT UP!" Gallee roared down at the derisive magician, his face suddenly turning a violent shade of magenta, his hand holding the silver tube in the air in a threatening gesture- Nami finally understanding its significance as the trigger device for the explosives. Now distinctly unhinged looking in appearance it was evident that Maragou had touched a nerve, "it will work! You call me mad? Fine!" A burst of hysterical laughter escaped the blood-lined face, bulging with fury, "Call me mad! Call me a crack, but guess what? All those years, all those infuriating, pestilential people that I've had to abide for all this time, all those questions I've been asked, BOOM! All gone! Ha! Just like that! In one instant no-one will question me, and no-one will question the disappearance of the islands, oh, you just wait, the World Government will see to that once this pays off. Oh, and how it will pay off…"

His tirade was cut short as there was sudden clatter, combined with a squeak and the distinct shriek of metal squealing against metal.

At the realisation of Usopp's sliding arrival to the floor of the cell (having been flung through the hole from the shaft due to the speed of the activated chains combined with his own express climbing technique), along with the collection of keys, (the more cumbersome and useless of which had been obligingly removed by his new-found marine accomplices from the basement) there was a stunned silence. There were several fractured seconds where everyone remained utterly frozen in a slightly comedic pause of confused amazement, which was swiftly replaced with a vehement curse from Gallee as he rapidly exited the room, locking the door after him, whilst Maragou seized the keys and inserted them into the door of the cell in fast-forward, Luffy hugging the life out of the already breathless stoat.

"Usooooopp! Thank you thank you thank you I WAS SO BORED!"

"Usopp I could _kill_ you I love you so much!"

"Er, thanks Nami?"

Dropping the ochre creature on its tail Luffy was through the bars and at the door of the office even before Maragou had opened the cage, rifling through the collection of keys to accost the next door. The magpie and the stoat sat back until the operation was done, Usopp in the meantime commenting that Maragou had a very fine tail, Nami acceding that yes, he did indeed.

* * *

"Well… all as I can say is… I'm quitting today mate, and that's… that's a fact," Phil managed to wheeze out as he and his companion (going by the name of one Gary Nerron, as Chopper had discovered in conversation during their meeting in the control room).

"Can't blame you there, sheesh, and here I was thinking as all your conspiracy bluff was a load of…"

"Don't mention it…" Phil gasped out, the truth being that he was rather wishing that his bluff had in fact been just that.

"Say… wonder if that deer… thing… is doing alright, you sure we shouldn't have took him with us?"

"His decision, and his it stays," Gary concluded as they finally reached the main landing, "forget otherwise and let's just do what he told us to- I'm not going argue with a seven foot yeti anytime soon, even if it does wear a pink hat."

* * *

"Ouch."

This was not the first time Sanji had said this. As has been stipulated before, horses and stairwells were not designed with each other in mind. Not that this was about to dissuade the cook from his course, even with the appearance of several rather astonished looking guards from the level above him.

"Five more to go…"


	13. Curtain

I am crap at updating. In fact if there were an equivilant for the Oscars for slovenly updating then I'd bloody well clear the podium before the trophies had even been forged. I am rubbish and I'm very sorry for taking so miserably long, but here it is at last- the final chapter! Thank you all for being so kind and curtious as to keep reading, and although I must have been very frustrating I hope you enjoyed the ride. Thank you again, a good night to all and to all a good night!

* * *

The end.

To many people's mind there is no phrase quite so aggravating to be found within a work of writing as this combination of two such simple, monosyllabic words. An end is to cut something off, for it to be finite, to cease, stop, die; but as we well know no story truly finishes so neatly and clinically as to suffer some metaphorical literary coronary arrest. Life could well be considered to be a story- it does not end at death, and I speak not of the philosophy of what lies thereafter (for that in itself is another intricate and curious tale, far beyond our own meagre knowledge of what we consider to be existence, and is not something I care to speculate upon at the present time), but I speak of how no single life is an entity separate from all others; "no man is an island", to quote the observations of John Donne. Discerning where one life begins and another ends becomes a task that is akin to discriminating between the beginnings and ends of clouds in a storm. Life is an organic thing, and, as with other organisms, lives intertwine, affect and are affected by others, even if they are themselves completely oblivious to this. The most chance and brief encounter can alter the direction and determination of two utterly disparate individuals, be it negatively or positively, for the rest of their permitted occasion in the world that they are witness to. The extraordinary coincidence of existing within the same epoch, let alone the same physical dimension or area, of another that in some way resembles or resonates with your own apparent being and character is an event of astoundingly uncelebrated rarity, the probabilities of which would confound the most advanced of devices for calculation, but which is no more marked by the observers than the passing of another year. Exceptional to this could be the advent of love, but even then love is so often misunderstood, missed and maltreated that it more often goes unnoticed than embraced, and more often than that unrequited. Despite this it carries on, wanted or no; as with life, love is not a thing that can be so easily ended.

So to say 'the end' is, in all honesty, to lie, for surely there is no story that is not in some way instilled with love, or why would it have been written?

One could argue, however, that something of a more tangible substance _can_ come to an end, in a sense- once something has been burnt it no longer exists as what it was, and in that instance has indeed ended that particular existence. This is an issue of considerable concern to several people who have, by the chances and fortunes of their own individual but somehow intertwined lives, convened in the stronghold of the marines, which contains a select individual who holds in his hand, quite literally, the decision of whether the current state of the Hallavic Islands will, or will not, end.

This singular man is currently exiting (with some alacrity), the final interior stairwell of the marine stronghold of these same islands, feeling the unpleasant peppering of sweet upon his upper lip so heavily blanketed by his pridefully cumbersome moustache. What drives a man to invention? Necessity- it has been claimed as the mother of invention time and time again and, surely, what greater necessity in life was there but to climb as high as one is able? It is the very act of humanity, further yet, nature, to do so. All he was attempting to do was to live as outstanding and productive a life as was possible- if it happened that to do this it also had to be lucrative, what of it? In order to serve the government loyally, for the sake of justice, to strive to create a safe and fair environment one needs funding, obviously. Surely what he was doing was a noble cause, a work of genius? Why, in pursuit of this objective the boundaries of scientific knowledge had been clearly expanded by his efforts, couldn't those obtuse beggars comprehend that? So often genius is seen as madness, alas, a curse for someone of so high an intellect as he, what trials the gifted must face! Petty fools, all of them. Seeing the world so small- for the advance and benefit of the many a few must suffer, this is a truth, and so it has been and always will remain, so why did he have to suffer their inability to grasp this most basic of ideas? Reality is harsh, unloving, fate is blind, and yet their refusal to admit to this concept worsened his own so sorely as to drive him to insanity. Believing that everyone could survive on hope and dreams alone; what madmen were these that dogged him? The highest pedigree of fools, to be sure.

Hearing the advance of his pursuers Gallee hastened his preparations to meet them.

* * *

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit _shit_."

Crass though it may have been, Sanji's cyclical command of prose was in fact quite an apt summary of his situation.

For one, he was still four floors down from his destination, for another there was an increasing number of people appearing to prevent his perpetrating the achievement of this goal, and, for a third, he was still a freaking horse. Breathing the forelock from his face heavily he cursed the predicament bitterly; the sweat he couldn't wipe away from his stinging eyes, the frictionless keratin of his hooves so scraped and knocked by the hard, narrow, polished steps, the danger, all the danger he couldn't stop, he couldn't solve. Was it so hard? Was it so hard to think of a way? Was he so stupid that he couldn't save them? He couldn't even save one?… but thinking like that was no good, no, he had to keep going. Keep going, he just had to get there in time, there had to be enough time, he had to save them, he had to save everyone, anyone…

He had to save her.

As for the thoughts of the adroitly scattering marines that had just been dealt the volcanic blow of a charging black steed punishing the stairwell with all four legs working like so many steel belted pistons, there was something of a unison of contemplation with the inclination to clear the immediate vicinity and to never take riding lessons at any point in their dearly precious futures.

* * *

"But how do we know this isn't a set up?"

Zoro's breath ran ragged through his lungs, his heaving ribcage and buckling legs beginning to show the toll of constant uphill fighting in a fashion he was neither physically trained to nor mentally adapted to, the wound from the farmer's bullet straining against the carefully crafted stitches within his chest, painfully threatening to work itself loose from the aggravation of fighting. Regardless he continued to lay siege to the constant swaths of marines that seemed to materialise at every turn the staircase flung them in.

"Couldn't Maragou still be working for them, or even simply for himself? I can't trust a guy that did this to us without any particular remorse…" further commentary was temporarily stemmed as his teeth were (temporarily) situated within the posterior of an unwieldy and highly unfortunate commander.

"Well, it's true that he may well still be working towards his own advantage (in fact I suspect this to be the case regardless)," Robin replied casually, inhibiting the usage of a rifle by a front soldier by the application of her claws to his face, "…but it seems to me that he is, at present, willing to assist us. If he was really against the idea he wouldn't have written the note as he did- the hand writing would have looked more forced and the paper might have been crumpled or ripped, or Doctor-san could have done it instead. As it was the handwriting didn't looked rushed or unwilling and the paper was intact."

The wolf gave a reluctant snort of admittance as another marine fell beneath his paws, allowing him to jump to the next set of stairs.

"Hnh, I suppose. Still, I don't like it…"

"If you were enjoying the situation I would be a little concerned, Bushido-san…" Robin's characteristic head-tilted smile shone through despite her feline appearance, as they continued to plough their way upwards...

* * *

"Open it open it open it!"

"I am attempting to do so, but you're not exactly aiding the situation…" Maragou snarled deprecatingly at Luffy, who was throwing the keys one after the other around the ring in the magician's hands, thus confusing the order of which had been tried and were yet to be fitted in the door ahead of them.

"Luffy will you get off him for one minute so we can actually move on, you aren't helping anything! Nami will you tell him…?"

Usopp's pleas were not met with sympathy however, as Nami's fury at their quarry was currently suppressing her consideration of how to proceed logically.

"Why that overblown, power mad, egotistic, inconsiderate… I'll make him pay Five-hundred percent's worth of that stupid diamond's value for this when I get my hands on him! No! Ten-hundred! Ten-thousand-hundred percent! Luffy! Why aren't we through that door yet?!"

"I'm trying I'm trying will you blasted creatures just let me… ah!"

Pure luck assisted the exasperated conjurer to select the correct key, the door slamming open from the weight of his hands fervently working the handle. Practically falling into the room they barely had time to observe the contents as they immediately ran to find the moustached mayor. The only impact that was unanimously noted was that the space was immense- whereas the previous floors had been split into various rooms and segmented areas, the entire floor was open, the ceiling and floor stretching away to a length and breadth that would have been more fitting for a cathedral, made all the more strange for the fact that it maintained the usual height of the rooms in the building. The effect was disconcerting- vastly spacious, and yet claustrophobic, as if the ceiling was too low, even through it would still have been more than accommodating if they had been their usual sizes.

Pausing for a moment to look about them the group instinctively formed a small circle, backs to one another as they gazed about the sparse surroundings. As they peered out into the long, empty spaces, occasionally broken by large crates and indiscernible machines covered by tarpaulins, Nami gave a slight shiver.

"I don't like this… we gave him too long, this feels too much like a trap."

"If he's even still in here- for all we know there's a way up to the roof, he might have already flown the coop… pardon the expression," Maragou apologised half-heartedly to the diminutive magpie at his feet.

Usopp could feel his tiny heart beating faster than was natural even for his usual state of tepidity, the tiny organ creating more of a whirring sound than the usual thudding noise he was used to hearing pounding against his ribcage. Wiping sweat from his nose with a paw he attempted to get his breathing under control, and in doing so noticed something that, once more, he had yet to fully realise he was capable of doing.

"No… Nami's right, I can… I can smell him- the strange ink scent that Chopper described, he's still in here."

"Woah, Usopp, you can do that?! Awesome! It must be from having such a long n-"

"I can't usually, dumbass!"

"Is that right?" Maragou looked from one cloth-hidden bulk to the next, "it's true, I suppose he could be hidden under any one of those, but there's so many… I suppose we'd better split up and search all of them, as fast as possible."

Nami nodded curtly- she didn't like taking orders, least of all from him, but it seemed to be the only option at the moment, and their slippery companion seemed to be genuinely adamant about catching Gallee, so she would just have to trust him… for the moment. However, just as they were about to set off in separate directions a muffled voice came rather laughingly in reply to their plans.

"Actually, I rather think it would be more advisable for you to stay exactly where you are…"

There was the heavy sound of cloth being thrown in the air, as they swung to the east where the sound had come from to see one of the masses being unveiled by a manically grinning Gallee. As the canvas sheet fell to the ground Nami gave a sharp intake of breath as she recognised the machine that was now in sight (and, ironically, that they were within the sights of) - the contraption that Maragou had used to transform them on that fateful night in the opera house. A slight whine made it evident that the machine was still in full working order, Gallee's fingers resting lightly on the levers.

"Don't move."

The command was a redundant one, as all four had immediately ceased their progress at the jarring instant role reversal of hunters to captives. It was small comfort that the hand that had been holding the detonation controls was empty, but the over sized diamond was still clutched tightly in the pudgy grasp of the other. The lieutenant chuckled at their apparent confusion.

"Ahem-hem, I expect you're wondering how this thing can possibly work without this? Moreover, why I would choose to aim this machine at you, as opposed to one of the various items of artillery stored in this room- after all, this is only a device for menial distraction, surely? A toy for entertainment, albeit of an unusual kind, no? Well, that is correct; if it is constructed as the original creator had intended- isn't that right, lemur-boy?"

Maragou flinched slightly at the uncivil method of address, but remained silent, his tight-lipped expression only causing Nami's uneasiness about the situation to increase. Gallee sneered unpleasantly at this response.

"Hnh, that's right, it wasn't just your ignorance of perceptual worth that led you to choose this particular diamond as the main focusing lens, was it? You see, one of the reasons this gem is so remarkably valuable is not only its unprecedented size and cut, but its remarkable clarity- see how perfectly transparent it is?" Usopp could see Nami's eyes changing to Belli symbols as the stone was held tantalisingly in a shaft of light from the skylight, the facets showing a sparkling array of dazzling lights of all hues whilst remaining flawlessly clear at the same time.

"Most stones have a slight discolouration from tiny traces of chemical impurities- in fact this is sometimes what gives them the unique colours that give them such value, as with emeralds, rubies, sapphires… even diamonds usually contain trace minerals, sometimes resulting in pink, yellow, or even the very rare red diamonds that are occasionally found, but this… this is an item of perfection itself. It contains absolutely no impurities, it is flawless, unspoilt, an ideal. Such is the world I yearn to create, void of contamination, the infection of the vulgar populace…" once again the strange contortion of disgust turned his rotund, jovial features into a mask of revulsion. "Alas, a dream only halfway to completion… but this diamond is already far above such standards. As such, it has no affect upon the beam generated by this contraption, other than to concentrate and converge it. Now, say we place another similar lens within the machine, but one that is not so faultless… would you care to hazard a guess as to what might happen?"

From the resentful, knowing look in the glowing, ember-like eyes of the sullen magician he needed no guesses to state what would happen; "The beam would not be a pure manifestation of the effects of the source, in other words, the treatment and resultant physical consequences of being hit by it would not be predictable, and it would have a high chance of being irreversible."

"EEEEEEEEEEH?!" The clamorous shock voiced by the three pirates sounded nothing like the human translation, but the amalgamation of the alarmed squawks and screeches was enough to let Gallee know that they had understood the basic implication of what faced them.

"So you at least have enough intelligence to comprehend the situation- the threat is perhaps even more potent than you even now realise; in your already altered state, the result of yet another dose of the protransformatory treatment is unknown even to myself, even if it were via the original machine…" At this Usopp noticed that amongst the various switches there were two main activation slides which the lieutenant's fingers were hovering slightly above- one marked 'pro' and the other 'anti', _presumably 'pro', in other words 'forward', must mean applying the effect, 'anti' for reversing it… _He noted this as Gallee continued to expound, evidently enjoying the sound of his own voice, "-It may not even affect your current form at all, but what is certain is that should you come into contact with the beam as it is now, you will never return to your original state, you will never again be human- of course," he tilted his head consolingly at Maragou, "some of you have never had the privilege in the first place."

Riling at the mocking sympathy it was all the strange lemur could do to grind his teeth in suppressed anger, but the threat was a very real and dangerous one- even one such as he, who was already under the effects of a zoan-type devil fruit, might be irrevocably mutated by the unrefined power of the Ikimono fruit. As it was the future of their corporeal existence was currently in the hands of a power crazed and highly strung madman, hardly a favourable position. Gallee had chosen to continue this vein of thought, bloating his own self esteem whilst belittling just about everyone else in the cosmos, his hand clutching the diamond in a enthusiastic, sweaty grip as he rambled along in his fervent monologue. Tiring of his arrogance it was with some relief that Maragou became aware that Usopp was imperceptibly whispering to them- his quiet rodent-based noises out of the hearing range and interest of the lecturing captor.

"Listen, I think I understand how that machine works, at least from the outside, but as it is I won't be able to get to it or even operate it without any hands. Luffy, you have to listen very carefully- if we get the chance, you have to get to the machine on the side that Gallee is standing on, right?" Luffy nodded with the tip of his tail- even their simple minded captain was aware that this was no situation to act conspicuously in.

"Good, when you see it you'll find two green switches right in the middle: they're what control whether the machine can turn people into animals or animals back into humans, is that right, Maragou?"

The magician made an assenting noise which could have been mistaken for vague interest in whatever Gallee was blabbering on about.

"Okay- the one on the right is the one we need to have activated, got that? The _right_ side. When that switch is all the way down you can throw the main lever- the big one at the front, that's the one that fires the beam, I remember from the performance. Maragou, we'll probably need you to handle that, it looks pretty hard to operate, even if you have dexterous paws like Luffy's. The main problem is going to be getting him away from the machine…"

"I can try to do that."

"Are you sure, Nami? It'll be pretty dangerous…"

Magpies are rarely seen to give courageous shrugs, but none the less the avian navigator had a glint in her eye that brooked no argument at the idea.

"No problem, I've done decoy work before, I'll see what I can do."

Unfortunately, the twitter of her bird-like voice was enough to rouse the attention of the garrulous marine, breaking the flow of his sermon.

"Ahem-hem, say now, no talking there, what are you conspiring about? Do I have to remind you about your situation…?"

"Oh blimey, if we don't do something he's going to start up talking again…"

"Alright then! Let's go!"

"No! Luffy, I didn't mean…"

But the half-prepared plan was already taking flight before their eyes, as the small lithe mammal set off at a bouncy sprint towards Gallee's shins. Momentarily startled he jumped back at the unexpected advance, giving the group the split-second they needed to separate.

"Blast, you damned ape, fine then! Reap your reward for defying me!" As he swung the aiming barrel of the device towards the floor his progress was impeded, as his vision was blocked by a flurry of black and white feathers. As Nami flapped and whirled around his eyes, threatening his face with her talons, Luffy managed to clamber onto the side of the machine, Maragou gradually making his way towards the contraption using the other canvassed masses scattered around the area as cover, cautiously flitting from one to another. Thrashing his arms about in a panic the huge diamond was sent flying from the lieutenant's sweating palm, as he made a swipe upwards, knocking Nami out his path.

"Nami!"

She landed with a soft thump some metres away from Usopp, who had made a hasty barrel roll manoeuvre to avoid being crushed by the falling diamond. Swiftly Nami attempted to right herself, her plumage haven taken most of the impact of the landing, but the blow had still slightly stunned her as she slumped, trying to catch her breath. Snarling at the upstart Gallee turned his head sharply to see Luffy clambering over the machine to the activation lever.

"Oh no you don't!" A well aimed kick sent the scraggly form flying over to where Maragou was ducking low to avoid discovery. Fleetingly a long, striped tail shot out from the cover of a tarpaulin-clad cannon, arresting Luffy's imminent collision with the floor and pulling him to safety behind the make-shift shield. Gallee laughed violently with crazed eyes as he reclaimed control of the apparatus.

"So you think you can save yourselves?! Ha! Well, I suppose that serves me right for being so benevolent, you don't deserve my pity! Now," he yanked the device sharply to aim at Nami's dazed form, "Suffer whatever fate awaits you!"

* * *

Only having time to realise what was happening Nami's pupils constricted at the sound of the lever clicking down into position as once more the horribly familiar flash of light struck her. The painful yet oddly invigorating electrical impulse shooting down every neurone in her body caused her to instinctively curl her body around into a protective ball, although she knew it was already too late to defend herself from the results. _I got hit… that's it, I'll never be human again, I'll never speak again, for all I know I'll die, that's it, finished, I never got to draw a map of the world, I never saw Luffy become the pirate king, or help Sanji find All Blue, just nothing, that's all I did, nothing, the story's over, no happily ever after, the end… _

A dreadful moment passed.

Hesitantly aware that she was still breathing, Nami dared to slightly open one of her eyes. Peering through a gap in her fingers she could still see Gallee and the machine, the former with an expression somewhere between abhorrence and utter shock. Scared, she wondered what could have happened to her that would be so horrific to cause such a reaction from the instigator, when it suddenly occurred to her what she was doing…

She was looking through a gap in her _fingers._

Suddenly unravelling herself from her cowering position she gaped as she saw and felt her arms, her legs, her hair- she was _her_ again. A half laugh, half gasp of joy juddered its way out of her as she embraced herself with a relief and love that she was sure she'd never felt before.

"I… but, how…?"

Looking up again she noticed that Gallee was no longer looking at her, but slightly ahead of her. Following his gaze she saw, to her astonishment, Usopp, evidently straining under the weight but steady and stern despite his meagre size and strength, holding the oversized diamond aloft like some comical, hairy Atlas with his globe. Had Nami not been so very small and closely in proximity to the ground the alignment would never have succeeded, but as it was the sniper's judgement of aim had proven to be as sound on the receiving end as it was on his delivery- he had positioned the diamond and held it at the exact correct angle to direct the beam straight through the gem onto Nami, re-establishing the original focus by negating the supplementary, impure lens within the machine.

"Usopp-san!"

The small creature toppled over, the mass of the burden finally overwhelming him, the portly man still staring at him in disbelief.

"This… but this is impossible! Impossible! Even if you refocused the beam, the machine was set to change the form positively!"

"But it was focused twice."

Gallee swung his face to see Maragou emerging from behind the blockade, Luffy sat petulantly between his downy ears.

"The double effect of first being directed through the lens, then the diamond, must have had a slight refracting effect, reversing the beam's power."

"That's nonsense, the diamond is a lens, it should only have focused the beam- true it might have nullified the impurity of the first, but reversing it…?"

Looking at the magician carefully, even with his intense but cool amber hued eyes Nami could tell he was bluffing, though it seemed Gallee was halfway to believing him. Glancing at the machine she now saw that the slide Luffy had been told to activate had indeed been moved, _I see… so he doesn't want him to realise yet so we can use the same method to get Luffy and Usopp back to normal…_ Gallee and Maragou's dialogue was being somewhat tested by Luffy, who was obviously trying to inform Maragou that in fact he had been the one to alter the machine, and was evidently rather proud about it, despite all of Maragou's attempts to disguise this fact from Gallee, who was starting to become suspicious. Realising the situation would not last Nami swiftly took to her feet, heading towards the device- _if I can just get to the machine and hold Usopp in front of it I'm sure he can get the beam to hit Luffy, then it'll be plain sailing…_ Catching up the stoat and diamond as she ran the Lieutenant had obviously caught on to the ruse, as he turned rapidly back to the machine. She was almost upon it when the marine sent a surprisingly strong arm slamming into the side of her head, causing her to drop Usopp and the stone as she fell to the ground.

The sound of the diamond clattering to the floor, along with her own gasp of pain and Maragou's yell of indignant anger, were left unheard, as a voluble crash accompanied the explosion of wood and plaster that was the net result of three animals hurtling at the once close (and intact) doorway. If one had been within earshot and had the ability to discern the different meaning of the various brays, whinny's, growls and barks that were being vocalised by two of these creatures, one may have been inclined to laugh at the exchange despite the surreal circumstances, the third member merely jumping aside from the destruction in a vaguely jaded fashion.

"Well it's your fault for getting in my way that it took us so long to get here!"

"My fault?! You were still stuck sliding about on the stairwell with those stupid fancy hooves of yours, horse-features!"

"And who started going back DOWN the stairs when we were nearly in the right pla…"

The pair stopped arguing with each other momentarily as there was a feeling of eyes upon them.

"… oh, we're here already?"

"It took you that long to realise even THAT?!"

"Oh! Luffy! How's it going? Woah, is that the magician guy?"

"Nice tail, better than the cape at any rate, but never mind that, where's…"

There was something of a fearfully strained silence as Nami shakily got to her feet, her right cheek blooming a painful shade of bright scarlet from Gallee's blow. A glint of the madness Sanji had suffered in the opera house lit up his features in a dark light as he turned to look at the bloated marine with a fury that needed no words to express it. Sensing his life was at real risk the lieutenant swung the machine hastily in the horse's direction, swiftly changing the settings to 'pro' as he prepared to fire at the newcomers, the swing of the fight having moved decidedly against him with their arrival.

"Guys! No time to explain but that thing's dangerous; just run!" Usopp squeaked as loudly as he could, dodging the wheels of the trolley the machine was mounted on whilst keeping as tight a hold on the diamond he could, having retrieved it from under the feet of the rampaging marine.

Taking the sharp-shooter's warning to heart the group fled at full tilt, a shot of brilliant light striking the floor with a strange hissing sound as they vacated the area with alacrity.

"Nami-san!"

Although his words were incomprehensible to her she understood, as Sanji swooped past her and ducked his shoulders, allowing her to grab onto his mane and launch herself onto his back, clasping the blonde hair close to his withers as he shot away to the north face of the building, a beam landing a hair's breath away from his rear hooves as Gallee began to fire indiscriminately around at the dispersed crew.

Reaching the shelter of a large crate he skidded to a halt, carefully trying to keep from jolting his valuable cargo from her seat, as she lay close to his neck to stay below the cover of the wooden panelling.

"Where's Usopp? We need him and the diamond to stop this mess!"

"I think he's still over there," Maragou yelled over to her over the sound of the machine's whining and clanking, the impacts occasionally causing their cover to vibrate, the smell of singed cloth and timber stinging the air, "but he's so small Gallee might not have seen him yet."

"You mean if he hasn't been trodden on yet," Nami gritted through her teeth as another beam sailed overhead. "Can you see him from where you are?"

"Without getting hit by that lunatic? No, actually, not really."

The navigator made a disgruntled sound to match her acerbic expression, Sanji pulling his ears back in disapproval at his disrespectful addressal. Luffy made a series of vehement chatterings, which nobody bothered to translate as yet more insistencies of letting him go to kick Gallee's ass with absolutely no heed of the danger.

"We need a plan to at least disable him from using the machine for a short period of time, but with this heavy fire it's impossible to get near him."

Nami sighed, "if only Robin could use her ability, or I had my climatact, or Usopp could shoot… damn it, all of our ranged fighters are out of commission, even Luffy can't stretch at the moment."

A particularly strong blast caused the crate to shudder disconcertingly. Breaking cover the fugitives sped to new hiding spots, Sanji briefly catching a glimpse of Zoro running past Gallee on the opposite side managing to snatch Usopp up off the floor by the scruff of his neck, causing the irate militant to spin around yelling something about green dogs and wretched weasels (an indignant squeak once more insisting that he was a stoat, with eight thousand followers to boot). As the viridian tinged wolf rocketed to a new hiding spot Sanji noted that in his abduction Usopp had been forced to drop the heavy diamond, which was now lying unnoticed by Gallee's feet. Halting behind another piece of machinery he tried to locate where Maragou had chosen to hide, catching a glimpse of him disappearing behind what looked oddly like a grand piano covered in waterproofed sheeting. Braying as loud as he could above the clamour of the fight he tried to keep as far behind the blockade as possible, his outburst resulting in a considerable salvo of shots in their direction.

"Oi! Maragou! There's no way we can hit him from a distance, but he can only fire in one direction at a time- if we can cause him to turn him back to us while he's shooting at someone else we might be able to get to him before he can turn around!"

Listening from his hiding space the performer grinned with fiendish approval. Replying in a strange sort of jabber (which the others could only presume was his actual tongue as a lemur) to prevent Gallee's understanding of the plan he expressed his sanction of the idea.

"Misdirection, eh? Very old hat, should have thought of that myself. Very well, you seem to be fairly fleet, if you could charge him from behind when he's turned away from you this might just work: we'll provide the decoy work, alright? Good luck!"

Sanji gave an assenting neigh. Looking back at Nami he indicated the ground with a gentle nod of his head in a request for her to dismount. In reply she simply crossed her arms and pouted.

"Oh no you don't, I don't know what he said, but I think I can guess what you're up to, and let me tell you I have no intention of getting off you."

Widening his eye in a pleading sort of manner she only stared at him in a more determined manner.

"If you're doing the running I'll do the attacking- your job is to get there as fast as possible, right? You can't afford to be thinking about how to attack him on the way or how to stop to hit him when you're not used to this form. Besides I can feel you're still suffering from your condition, don't try to deny it," she interjected as he moved his face away in refutation, "I could feel you shaking as soon I got on you. Just get concentrate on speed and I'll knock him for six," she swung her legs cheekily to either side as she winked at him mischievously, "you're not the only one who can kick you know."

Trying hard not to collapse into a love-struck heap Sanji reluctantly accepted her commands, peering around the side of the enveloping cloth to watch for their cue. Gallee was laying some heavy fire on a set of crates to their left, when suddenly Maragou, Robin and Zoro all broke cover simultaneously, Luffy safely encased within the coils of the magician's tail to prevent his disrupting the plan. Enraged and disorientated Gallee hefted the machine around to face the South wall as he chased Robin clockwise to the next barrier, inadvertently knocking the diamond on the floor skidding towards Maragou's path. Nami could feel the powerful muscles bunch and coil beneath the black pelt as Sanji tensed, watching as the machine turned gradually around to face the opposite side of the building from them.

_Nearly there, nearly… yes!_

Powering himself off his haunches the equine chef set himself hurtling off towards the exposed back of the be-whiskered lieutenant like a bullet from a rifle, Nami letting out a small yelp as the impetus almost left her behind with the colossal change of speed. Hearing her cry of alarm Gallee was alerted before he even heard the hooves hammering the floor so violently that they were leaving considerable dents in the wooden boards- spinning around he yanked the device through one hundred and eighty degrees so viciously that the trolley tilted up onto two wheels, threatening to discard the mechanism on top as it span in a perfect volte-face. Moving too rapidly to stop it was all the pair could do to look in front of them with horror to find themselves cantering straight into Gallee's aim several metres short of their destination, his face lighting up with a demonic grin as fixed the sights at the galloping steed and his charge. Swiftly changing the settings he laughed in a crazed manner at his triumph.

"He may be a monster as a horse, but let's see what good riding a mere cook will do you!"

Throwing the lever so hard it made the entire casing judder, it was with such speed that Maragou managed to catch up the diamond on the floor and threw it, smashing it into the front of the machine so hard that the beam was refracted through every facet, that it almost seemed like he had thrown himself at the contraption in fast forwards. The beam split into what appeared to be a thousand shards of iridescent light, scattering around the room to strike every perceivable surface and every member of the crew, who had immediately left the safety of their hiding places as soon as they had observed the imminent catastrophe facing the cavalry charge.

Removing his hand from shielding his eyes Gallee looked up to see the girl riding the great black stallion leap from her station as he began to change, reverting from the charging beast into a black suited young man, easing from running on four hoofed legs to two clad in neat, polished shoes as smoothly as if it happened to him every day.

Reverting, but not stopping.

A small revelation occurred to Gallee in the last few seconds of his consciousness regarding the fact that Sanji had not, in fact, slowed down with his return to his human form, but had in fact sped up considerably, allowing him to appreciate that the previous statement he had claimed was the most inaccurate estimation he had ever made, or would ever have the opportunity to within the remaining microseconds of awareness he was witnessing.

* * *

Brushing the rubble from the newly formed hole in the wall off his jacket, Sanji observed that the building really gave a rather pleasant view of the city from nine floors above ground, a slight vapour trail of dust the only indication of the route the ill fated lieutenant-come-mayor had taken.

"Well he was annoying. Is everyone alright?"

It was strangely nostalgic hearing everyone's voices replying in unison.

"Aye!"

"Er, mister Maragou, can you perhaps let go of the Captain? I don't think he can breathe under your tail…"

"Oh! My sincerest apologies…"

"Phwagh! Oi, what's the big idea?! I just wanted to send him flying and then you let Sanji do it anyway! No fair!"

Zoro smirked in an affectionate manner as he patted Luffy consolingly, who was pouting in high dudgeon at this injustice. Sanji smiled apologetically.

"Sorry captain, I promise you can do it next time, how about I cook you some meat to make it up to you?"

From the exuberant exclamations and dancing that was resultant at this offer it appeared that all sins were forgiven in the advent of food, the initial insult all but forgotten already. Nami smiled at the ease of his placation, as turning back to look at Sanji she began to speak but found the words were forgotten as he swayed slightly, a strong wave of shaking consuming him once again with perspiration appearing on his cheeks as he put a hand to his forehead.

"Sanji-kun!"

"You mean it wasn't just the change? Shit, what's wrong with you?!"

"Sanji!"

Usopp quickly went to offer him an arm to lean on but was waved away, as Sanji's trembling hand went to the contents of his shirt's breast pocket. There was a flurry of familiar hand movements, followed by an ecstatic, shaking breath of relief, the others looking on in slight disbelief at the ridiculous simplicity of his condition.

"A~~aah, damn, I was dying for a smoke."

The momentary pause preceding the tidal wave of scolding was brief.

"That was _it?!_ You just had withdrawal symptoms from cigarettes?!"

"Jeez man, scaring us all like that when it was just cold turkey! You heartless bastard!"

"Mind you, breaking off the number _he_ smokes a day isn't easy…"

"It's still his own fault! You dumb-ass cook, making us worry for no reason, I'll kick your freaking ass into rehab!"

"Oi oi, you worrying about me again? I never knew you were so motherly, moss-head."

As he fended off the various affectionate beatings from his companions there was undoubtedly an air of relief at the solution of his mysterious affliction, if in a slightly aggressive and exasperated fashion. Robin was hiding her elegant laughter behind her hand as usual but Usopp looked less amused, as he tapped her on the shoulder in a concerned manner.

"O-oi, is this okay? I mean, this is all great, but what about Gallee? He still had that device, right? He could still set off the explosives any second, it might even get activated when he lands by accident!"

"Oh, you mean this?" Nami produced the small grey cylinder from her person to a crowd of astonished faces, causing her to smile innocently, "oh, I just accidently found this in his pocket when he knocked me over, is it important?" She raised an eyebrow audaciously with her usual charismatic wink. As the crew expressed their relief in their variety of methods, Usopp simply fainting outright, Maragou approached her with something he hadn't overtly demonstrated towards her during the advent their exploits- an air of heart felt respect.

"Madame, you have done these islands and myself a great service by your deeds that will likely never be forgotten, you have my eternal gratitude… If I may?"

Blushing slightly at his change in demeanour she carefully handed the trigger to him, which he promptly vanished into thin air before their very eyes as easily as he might have done a pack of cards. To where he sent it and why would be the subject of speculation during the consideration of their adventures in the days to come, never to be answered.

"Thank you, and for my next trick, I suppose I shall have to disappear myself…" he gave a sad smile through his fur rimmed face, "after all, half of the illusion is not knowing, now that I am discovered I supposed the trick is blown. It's a pity, but perhaps it's better for this place if I leave…"

"What are you talking about? Are you an idiot?"

The animalistic conjuror was somewhat staggered by the blunt remark made by the straw-hat sporting boy with scraggly black hair.

"He's right, why on Earth would you have to leave? Besides, it's only us who know what you look like; none of your followers have seen you."

"Yeah, and who cares if they have or ever do? I think it makes you more interesting, I mean just look at our Doct…"

The crew looked at each other with sudden realisation.

"Where is Chopper anyway?"

Sanji's stance became decidedly more sheepish.

"Ah… er, yes, about that, we'd better go and help him."

Zoro sighed in an exasperated way while Luffy simply proceeded to roar with laughter, Nami giving Maragou a final clip around the ears before they set off down the stairs to reclaim the medic.

"And don't be a fool- it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, you're one of the best performers I've ever seen; trust me, it takes a professional to pull the wool over a pirate-thief's eyes. Stick to it, you're hardly good for anything else." She stuck her tongue out at him in a teasing manner, "See you around! Break a leg."

Maragou looked on as they filtered out of the room with their various goodbyes and cheerful faces. As the door closed there was a settling of dust, then a long silence. It felt so strange, the cavernous room so quiet and still after having been a surreal but hectic battleground only a few moments before. The sound of the wind toying with the canvas of the storage mixed with the calls of seabirds high above in the sky outside. Spending a quiet moment of contemplation Maragou turned to look at the soft, sand-hued buildings sloping away down into the city below him. A rueful smile and a half-laugh curled around his snub face.

"Hnh, 'see me', eh?"

He commenced slowly walking towards the exit himself, his arms crossed behind his neck in a casual manner.

"Who knows…"

* * *

_Two Days Later~~~_

"A-aah! I'd like to go back there sometime; I want to see more magic shows, that was really awesome…"

"Mm, maybe, but only if they don't involve us this time."

"Eeh? You're no fun, hey, Nami, how long 'til the next island? I'm bored!"

"How should I know?! We're just lucky the log pose didn't set before we managed to get off the island- Poppy said it usually sets within a week and a half so that was really close! I just want to get as far away from there as possible for now."

"I was wondering about that- why didn't you hang around for longer? I'm sure the locals would have given us a reward or something for saving them."

"Don't be an idiot Zoro, what good would telling them do? Just off-handedly informing them that the whole ring of islands was wired to blow while we were provoking the guy who was in charge of the detonation? Yeah that'd be real nice for them…"

"Usopp's right, there wasn't any point in worrying them unnecessarily- as it is the lava beneath the crust will be setting from the temperature of the sea, and with the Rip Tide dismantled it won't be getting worn down any more. The sea bed will recover and the fish will return to their usual habitat in a while- in the end nothing happened, not that I approve of the notion 'ignorance is bliss' but perhaps it's best they only ever see it that way."

"Cook-san makes a fair point, and when the authorities discover the failure of the project was they'll almost certainly send the scientists back home to their families, and if they ever find Gallee (if he's alive) he'll be permanently discharged, perhaps even arrested for wasting so much money."

"Eh? But Robin, what if they don't send the scientists back?"

"Hmm… in that case I suppose they'll die working for the government, sniper-san."

"What?!? How can you say that with such a calm expression, that's awful!"

"Oh calm down Usopp she's just teasing you, right Robin?"

The typical disconcerting unreadable smile of the historian caused Nami to abandon the subject with a slight chill and return to her cartography room, leaving the others to continue their debating.

"Still, we were lucky, oh, and well done for putting the anchor down Usopp, I'd never have thought the tide would come that far up the beach where we landed."

"Huh? But, I didn't put the anchor down, Chopper? Was that you?"

"No, I was unconscious when we landed, remember?"

"Luffy?"

"We have an anchor?"

"…"

"Sometimes I think this ship takes better care of itself than we do."

"Oh don't start up on that again…"

"But I tell you I _did _see someone that night!…"

"Oh, just forget I said anything."

* * *

"Nami-san?" A gentle knock and the soft creak of the door being hesitantly opened announced the cook's presence outside of the women's quarters bearing a tray of refreshments.

"Oh! Thank you Sanji-kun, could you put it down on the dressing table over there?"

Closing the door quietly behind him Sanji moved to deposit the tea where the navigator had indicated, carefully moving the foundation and blusher aside. Walking over to see her latest craft he observed the various accurate renditions of the Hallavic Circle in its various forms, complete with contours, volcanic fault lines, rock types, and even the most minute details of the streets and plazas of the city. A small but extremely carefully drawn rejoin in the valley basin to the Eastern side of the Island depicted a small rural holding labelled Eruc Farm in neat, scrolling letters. Sanji smiled at the memory of the young girl and her dedicated parent as he looked at the talented drawings; the materials Usopp and the guards had managed to obtain for her research looked imprecise and outdated compared to her delicate work.

"They're very beautiful."

"Mm, thank you, well, I've been able to spend the last two days on them so I could make them as accurate as I needed to, it really was a very interesting region…"

It went unsaid that another of the reasons she had been working on them for two days was that underneath the applications of makeup on her face her cheek and eye were still sporting a very impressive amount of dark bruising.

"Yes, yes it was."

There was a small pause, the silence occasionally intermitted by the scratching of the nib on the parchment.

"… do you mind if I sit for a little while? Only Luffy's being a bit of a handful out there, honestly, I should never have offered to cook him meat without stipulating a limit."

Smiling wryly she nodded, indicating the bed, the other chairs having been taken out onto the deck to enjoy the sunlight. Perching on the covers Sanji sat, his fingers interlaced and palms pressed together as he balanced his hands on his knees.

"… I'm sorry I was late."

"…What?"

"In the building, I'm sorry; if I'd been a little faster, or not arguing with that damned marimo so much I might have got there before-"

Nami put the pen down with a slightly irritated sigh, "If I'd have, if I'd been, if, if, if; look, it doesn't matter, what happened happened, and it wasn't your fault no matter what you think or say, it was his fault for being a jerk. Anyway, there are endless possibilities in the world: if you hadn't arrived at that exact moment perhaps things wouldn't have worked out as well as they did, perhaps they would have been better, who knows? Just don't keep wittering and wondering about what might have been when it doesn't matter. What matters is what is now, and that's all. Okay?"

Sanji nodded wordlessly, blushing slightly abashedly at her sharply spoken lesson.

Continuing to work for a little while she finished the last few strokes, then rose to hang the new map from the line, attaching both ends with the small wooden pegs. As she lifted the second side up the first slipped loose, but before she could catch it another set of slender, pale fingers had reached out before she caught the paper.

"Well, at least I could help this time, hm?"

He gave her a disarming smile as she frowned slightly, trying to cover the slight pink flush on her face as he held it still while she reattached it to the string. The job done the room held a slightly awkward quiet for a moment after.

"… Are you still here?"

"Oh, er, sorry, I'll leave you to your tea…"

Retracing his steps he fumbled with the handle to let himself out, a little too reluctantly, perhaps, but as he was halfway through he was caused to hesitate, Nami's voice hailing him on the way out.

"You were a very nice horse, by the way."

The curtain of yellow hair all but hid the coy smile as he left whilst replying.

"Thank you, Nami-san, you were a very beautiful magpie," he sent her a subtle grin, "and a very considerate rider."

Leaving her response unknown he closed the door to the ladies' quarter's with a soft click, walking away to face the galley once again to meet his captain's insatiable appetite.

"… I still think she's a cat."

Or at least, he would, after chasing the swordsman the length of the ship and back.


End file.
